How to SMASH:
by Quizy
Summary: The ONLY story here of people training under Smashers and has an author that's ACTUALLY going through with it, but soon the apprentices find themselves caught up in a civil war and a race to find mysterious objects. WON'T BE ACCEPTING OC'S MUCH LONGER!
1. Nick

**So anyways, Let Me Break It Down For You, also known as... lmbidfy. This story is about people who travel to the Smash Mansion most likely on accident. There, they train under a certain smasher. This entire story will be an interactive one meaning there will be points where you can decide things. You know, I think I'll just tell you the rest at the end of the story. ;P Oh, and P.S. Nick is based off of me, but more like, what I WISH I was like. Anyfways, see you at the bottom! Hope you survive! P.S.S. This story also requires that you have SEEN Wes's Osohe Dance so go look it up on youtube or something.**

* * *

Little do we know, any story that has ever been told, books, television, video games, fairy- tales. All of these may or may not exist in another dimension. Yes, there are people living in alternate dimensions that might be part of a series in our world. Certain people are born and these people have the ability to travel between these dimensions at will. They are born infants, but their minds manage to retain years of wisdom. At some point the child will discover its ability, travel to a different world, and learn of the great heroes that were there. The travelers themselves don't leak what they saw to the real world themselves, but… It's hard to say. Most likely they got drunk, and started ranting to a person who had power over the media or to a person who later came into contact with a person who had power over the media. As for your favorite TV show, I have no idea whether or not they really exist in an alternate dimension. All I know is how our world and the other worlds came into contact for the first time in long time. And it all starts with a dance.

_Play Music: Wess's Osohe Dance_

…

"YIPPEE!"

Of all the things you would see in a closed off cave with an eerie light, there was currently a young boy in his teens shaking his butt in front of a ten foot tall door.

"Here we go! Big Finish!" he said spinning around at an improbable speed. "BAM! TAKE THAT, YOU STUPID DANCE INSTRUCTRER!" he shouted striking a pose.

_End Music_

"Haha"

* * *

**SMASH APPRENTICE**

**NICK MIN**

* * *

Well, hello there. By strange coincidence, my name is Quizy. Here I'll lmbidfy to you. It is my job to keep you informed and I will take the liberty of explaining to you anything that needs to be explained. You will see me in this story every once in awhile, but not for long as the only times you'll see me are when there's something that a certain character or characters need to know in order for the story to progress. Anyways…

This is Nick. He's fifteen years old and pretty sweet and innocent… kind of. You see, he's very polite and always does the right thing, but… only if there's a hot girl involved. He became a womanizer around the age of fourteen and he's been happy as can be ever since. In some ways, he could also be considered a "hippy". He never generally denies this, but he'll get angry if you start stereotyping him for it. He has a general sense to him that says "So how's life going for you?" and he has a strong ability to accept the impossible and have his own style. So basically, he's a somewhat laid back womanizer guy who likes to chill out, flirt with girls, and be cool. His favorite games are Pikmin 2 and Mother 3. Nick is 6 feet tall. He has coal black hair that sticks up a little bit, dark brown eyes, and olive-tan skin. He has a medium build and generally wears some sort of black t-shirt with a creative pattern or peace sign on it with some regular jeans and tennis shoes. His introductory quote is "…Oh, hi there. Is this microphone on? Hey Master Hand? Can you come check? And just what's that supposed to mean? Hey! Wait! Were you being sarcastic or did you really mean that? MASTER HAND!"

As soon as Nick said "Haha" he blinked and while he blinked a great spectacle occurred. It appeared as the great door that stood in front of Nick opened by a little crack released a great flash of light. It lasted for less than half a second, but anyone who saw it was held improbably in time as the light was absorbed by the body. The light fast-forwarded time until the point where it started over and then propelled itself back to 1 second after it left in the form of golden dust that fell from the sky all over the earth. If you were so lucky as to witness it, you gained the ability to travel between dimensions at will and instantly realized the answers to all in existence, however since Nick blinked, he managed to miss the whole thing, but did manage to see the golden dust falling from the sky.

"…?" Nick stood for a minute, but then walked over to the door.

"H-Hi?" whispered Nick quietly, assuming that someone on the other side had begun to open the door up.

"**HEY! KEEP IT DOWN!" **shouted the new voice. Then the door opened all the way and a small boy about the size of Lucas flew out on a jetpack in the shape of bat wings and slowly descended to the ground, but the light was still overwhelming and Nick couldn't identify him right.

"I mean I just dimension traveled for the first time and I have to hear you shouting at me?!"

"But I wasn't sho-"

"SHUT UP! I don't want to hear your excuses! I'm captain of the Pig Mask Army, I'll have you know! If I didn't feel like beating you up myself, I could have a hundred troops on you right now!" He continued ranting, but then Nick's eyes widened a little bit and a small amount of drool came out.

"Captain of the… Wait a minute…C-C-Claus?!" shouted Nick and the light dimmed so that Nick could see Lucas's twin brother thought to be dead, Claus, or the Masked Man. Claus looked exactly the same as Lucas except with the exception of having red hair and wearing a blue-striped shirt instead of red, however a couple of years ago, Claus got into a horrible accident and had to be rebuilt entirely. He now wore a a gray helmet that had a glass plate over his left eye and a shadow cast over the other. He wore a brown shirt and orange pants with brown boots. His right arm was a cannon that connected to his back and on his back was a short sword and a cape that transformed into a jetpack in the shape of bat wings.

"Well, the Pig Mask Army was destroyed at the same time as my death, but you know it's kind of an automatic reaction for me to threat-" Claus was cut off by an Overwhelming bear hug from Nick that began to crush him and made his face start to turn colors.

"Urk…Woah…Dude…That's a little…Gay-ACK!" Nick dropped Claus on the ground who was considerably shorter and ended up falling on his butt after he realized he had just made himself look like he was trying to come on to Claus and blushed, but then realized that blushing made him look even more gay and blushed even more.

"Err, look, man, I'm not gay. It's just that well… YOU'RE MY FREAKING HERO!!!… Ah crap! I did it again!"

Claus stumbled up and looked at him.

"So… uh, How's it going?" started Nick.

Claus looked back down and took out a notepad.

"_Easy, Claus, easy, just let the little kid figure out when he's gay-"_

"I'M NOT GAY!!" shouted Nick.

"What the-?!" How had he known what he was thinking?

"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I can read the minds of plants… and if I try hard psychic people, but not animals or non-psychics and I can also see auras if I concentrate."

Claus lightened up a little bit thinking of how Mewtwo was going to go crazy when someone started invading his thoughts again.

"I bet it will."

"Would you quit that?!"

Claus opened up his notepad and sighed.

"_Remember your therapy Claus, PK Thunders do not solve everything and they most certainly do not 'turn on' your girlfriend."_

_To Do: List_

_X Convince Palutena to resurrect_

_X Take Therapy lessons_

_X Get a job_

_4. Greet first Smash Apprentice_

_5. Meet with Hands_

He crossed off number four on his list and closed the notebook to see Nick looking pleased with himself.

"So what are we gonna do now?" He said smiling, trying to keep calm.

Claus turned around to the door "**PK THUNDER!!**" He shot a peculiar colored PK Thunder into the blank space inside the door.

The Door lit up and opened all the way and one could see a portal that flashing all sorts of different colors. "Come on, we're going to meet your new master", he said looking back at Nick, but then added "Oh, and one other thing… don't tell Lucas you saw me. I don't want him to know I'm back yet."

* * *

_Smash Mansion_

_Front Yard_

Olimar was incredibly nervous. His entire suit was shaking and the small light at the end of his antenna was quivering. He had never expected to get an apprentice so soon, he had hardly even expected to get one at all. He was never even sure he wanted one. When Master Hand told him the first student would be his, he was incredibly shocked, but he decided this would be a great opportunity to work on his teaching skills. He couldn't help but shudder as he remembered what happened to his last student…

"_Watch out Olimar!" shouted a younger astronaut in a blue space suit as Olimar grasped a purple pikmin's stem. Before him stood the most monstrous spider he had ever seen. It was armed with an arsenal of weapons that shot various hazards._

"_Hold on, Louie!" Shouted Olimar. The Spider took out a giant flamethrower and pointed it at Olimar's head._

"_Oh, mother-"_

Just then, Nick fell out of a couple of clouds in the sky and landed on Olimar who was flattened under the weight.

"OOAH!" shouted Olimar as he was crushed under Nick's weight. Nick scrambled up to his feet hurriedly and pulled Olimar up to his side while apologizing.

"Oh, sorry Captain. Please excuse me. I just accidentally fell from the sky, hope you don't mind." stated an embarrassed Nick. Olimar tried to regain his balance, but the added weight of his helmet threw him off and he fell over on his back again a second later. "Oh it's fine. I'm just a little groggy, anyways you may just call me Olimar. I guess you must be Nick, my new apprentice." Nick held back a squeal as Olimar said this.

"_This is so freaking exciting!!!"_

At this moment, a nearby Red Pikmin took the liberty of plucking itself from the ground and supported Olimar. It patted him on the back and then it looked at Nick. And then it stared at Nick. "Your pikmin is very loyal to you." said Nick simply. Olimar looked at the pikmin with appreciation. And then he looked at Nick. He didn't need to be explained that he could see into the pikmin's mind.

The pikmin kept staring at Nick and Nick stared longingly at the pikmin too occupied by his own thoughts to listen to the pikmin's. Olimar understood that he could read the minds of plants. "Hey pikmin, what's your name?" quietly whispered Nick.

"**I TOLD YOU TO KEEP IT DOWN!!!" **shouted a voice from the sky. Just then a crackling thunder was heard and a blast of lightning streamed through the clouds and sent Nick rocketing through the mansion door. "I'M SOOOORYYYYY!!!"

"Woah!" Olimar quickly raced after him and as soon as they were gone, Claus descend from the clouds and the pikmin muttered something to itself in its plant language.

"Look there, Petal. There goes our future…"

"Petal" looked at Claus.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, just because he can read the minds of plants and is the first one here automatically makes him 'the chosen one'".

Petal narrowed her eyes.

"Oh, well excuse me… So it's not called the chosen one anymore…Oh, well excuse me again, you don't even do prophecies ever since you lost your giant prophecy rock. What a waste of a perfectly good rock-Oh look at me, I'm arguing with a plant, just make sure he defeats the Giga Progg or whatever the prophecy was" Claus blasted off back into the clouds again before Petal's thoughts could reach him.

* * *

_Smash Mansion_

_Living Room_

Master Hand was tense. He was nervous about the whole apprentice thing that Quizy had convinced him to do. The idea of having children run amuck granted with super natural powers made him queasy. Next to him was Quizy, the dimensional traveler, who smiled and waved at what Master Hand thought was nothing, but was really me, the narrator. I gave an awkward wave back and continued narrating. Quizy looked a lot like Nick except he wore a brown cloak, was considerably calmer, a couple inches taller, and he had a little peach fuzz on his face.

"Tense Master Hand?" he asked

Master Hand grunted in response.

"Don't worry, I'm sure it will be-" Quizy was interrupted.

"-RYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!" screamed Nick crashing into the two.

"OOAH!" they both screamed as they fell over on their backs.

Nick scrambled up excitedly and Olimar dashed by his side and looked indifferently down at the two.

"Oops, sorry Master, or is it Crazy? No wait, it's Master Hand. Oh and sorry to you too, other guy." apologized Nick happily. He was really excited now.

Quizy stood up and Master Hand floated back up as well. "That's fine, oh, and no need to introduce yourself. My name's Quizy and this is probably the last time you'll see me for a while, but anyways, I've already gotten all the information I needed from the Masked Man. I already knew you were going to train under Olimar, he could see it in your mind so I convinced Master Hand to let him be the first to greet you." explained Quizy.

"Oh, so Claus really can do telepathy." muttered Nick.

Olimar wondered to himself who Claus and the Masked Man were.

"Well Nick, since this is the last time I'll see you I left your birthday present in the back yard! See ya!" said Quizy who strolled off casually waving goodbye to everyone in the room.

"_What a cool guy. If I were a girl, I would totally want to date that guy, especially if I was a hot girl. Then I would really want to date him", _thought Nick to himself.

"…Can I go get my birthday present now?"

"Well, Olimar, Nick, let's go get the paper work done now…" said Master Hand turning around and going up the stairs while ignoring Nick's request. Olimar followed, but Nick went out to the backyard. He went out and a small tear swelled in his right eye.

"It's… beautiful!" His face was overjoyed.

* * *

_Smash Mansion_

_Master Hand's office_

"Hey, where's Nick?"

"I think he went to go get his birthday present." Master Hand looked out the window and saw Nick jumping joyously around a green colored Onion.

Olimar looked over and gasped and ran over to push his face against the window.

"A N-N-New P-Pikmin?! A New Discovery! Oh joy, look out journal! Prepare to be written in tonight!" Olimar ran all the way down the stairs faster than Sonic and Captain Falcon on steroids and he could be seen crashing into the onion as Nick activated it and a small seed popped out of it. They were both jumping around like crazy.

Master Hand sighed as Crazy Hand crashed nonchalantly through the left wall.

"Look, big bro! A Green Onion! This is amazing! Alert the media! Tell all the smashers! Hey, Where are all the Smashers anyway…? Tell Georgely, my new pet psychotic, cyber-turtle with heat missile launchers! Tell-"

"Crazy, I told you to stop buying dangerous reptiles!"

"B-B-B-But-" ***thud***

Crazy Hand passed out and landed on the floor, occasionally twitching.

"Oh no, I've got a headache already…"

_To be continued… XD_

_Next time ~_

_Nick flopped over on his back while the light in the pit dimmed. He looked up at the sky depressingly. Then his head flopped over to the green pikmin cleaning up the bottom of the pit. "Why do you like it so clean? You were born in the dirt for crying out loud." Nick pulled himself into a meditating position and closed his eyes, humming silently to himself. His ears perked up moments later as he heard the sound of Olimar's ship crashing into the ground, but at the same time, the piercing cry of an angry bulborb. "Oh, great…"_

* * *

**YEAAAA! You survived the end of my story! Happies! Well, great, I hope you're all ready to join me and help me out because according to the preview I get stuck at the bottom of the pit with a neat-freak pikmin! Oh, and here are some side notes-When Claus talks about a giant prophecy rock and the Giga Progg, it was a failed pikmin fan fiction I never published, and No, Nick is not the chosen one, the chosen one is Olimar dummies, but I'm not even putting that in the story- If you didn't notice, I managed to work myself in the story, but that's the last time I'll be in the story for awhile (Except for right now because technically this is Quizy talking)- I actually started writing a story about Master Hand's and Crazy Hand's childhood. In it, Master Hand would always get picked on by everyone and Crazy Hand would always get really excited for no apparent reason and randomly pass out. I plan to use this in the story. He also owned a pet Anaconda named Jeffrey or something- Nick isn't really gay, he just gives people that feeling a lot and there will be Absolutely NO NickxClaus. Look you made me write it down... I feel all weird now.**

**RULES FOR ENTRY XD**

Here's the list of available characters

Smashers:

Captain Falcon (Taken) **King DeDeDe (Free) **Diddy Kong (Taken)Donkey Kong (Taken) Falco (Taken) Fox (Taken) **Mr. Game & Watch (Free) **Ganondorf (Taken) Ike (Taken)

**Kirby (Free) Bowser (Free) **Link (Taken)Lucario (Taken)Lucas (Taken)Luigi (Taken) Mario (Taken)** Marth (Free) **Meta Knight (Taken)** Ness (Free) Peach (Free) Pikachu (Free)**

Olimar (Taken) Pit (Taken)** Ivysaur (Free) Charizard (Free) Pokemon Trainer (Free) Squirtle (Free) Popo (Free) Nana (Free) Jigglypuff (Free) R.O.B. (Free)**

Power Suit Samus (Taken) Sheik (Taken) Snake (Taken)Zero Suit Samus (Taken)Toon Link (Taken)** Wario(Free) **Wolf (Taken)**Yoshi (Free) **Zelda (Taken)** Dr. Mario (Free)**

**Pichu (Free) **Roy (Taken) Young Link (Taken)** Mewtwo (Free) Toon Zelda (Free) Toon Sheik (Free) Plusle (Free) Minun (Free) Dixie Kong (Free) Master Hand (Free)**

**Crazy Hand (Free) Red Alloy (Free) Blue Alloy (Free) Yellow Alloy (Free) Green Alloy (Free) Sandbag (Free)**

Villains:

**Petey Piranha (Free) Rayquaza (Free) Porky Minch (Free) Galleom (Free) Ridley (Free) Duon 1 (Free) Duon 2 (Free) Meta Ridley (Free) Tabuu (Free) **

Maybe you didn't notice, but all the cut characters are there as well as The original Smash characters.(I think it'd be funny to see Sandbag apprentice as a super intense fighter.) You can put polygons or wirefrimes too, but it doesn't really matter. And anyone who didn't snoop around too much when Brawl was still in development wouldn't know about the six incomplete fighter entries on the disc. The data showed Dr. Mario, Mewtwo, Roy, a Plusle Minun duo, Toon Zelda, Toon Sheik (Which might just be Tetra), and Dixie Kong so I put those on there too. However if you're too good for any of the basic characters, feel free to submit your own. Later, also decided to add bosses.

Here's how you apply

Character you want to train under: (As you can see, some people will train two people ex. Samus, Zelda, and even Pokemon Trainer and Nana can be trained under separately.)

Your Character's Name: (This is encouraged so that you can just submit yourselves as a main character so if you're not going to do you, at least make it sound realistic, but my character's name was Nick Min, the obvious pun being Pikmin- Get the idea? You don't have to do that though.)

Age: (whatever, except like old men/women or babies or something. I'm gonna say, I'm only gonna take people up to 26 years old)

Gender: (I dunno)

Original Quirk: (Writing about people who all have the same general quirks is a little boring. Create a unique quirk, doesn't have to appear right away. If you skip this, your character won't get too much screen time)

Your Character's Personality: (This is where the character's personality goes [Oh really?]Pretty basic. Put how your character would react to certain characters [Having no idea who they are, getting completely infuriated, getting on knees and bowing] Also put your character's personality- the main thing this section should be made of.)

Fighting Style: (and your character should not be completely defenseless, they should have some sort of fighting style before they learn from the masters. **A lot of people had trouble with making their characters weak. The ****whole point**** of this entire story was that PEOPLE GO TO THE SMASH MANSION AND **_**LEARN**_ **TO FIGHT like the smashers. **And if they don't put it down here. this section should be very short) It's not really a big deal, it's just annoying having to repeat myself ;P

Your Character's Physical Traits: (Skin Color, Hair Color, Eye Color, Age, Stature, Face, Style, Clothes, Build. Put if they're bulky or lanky, short or tall, medium or in between, whatever, also please avoid doing weird species like star warriors/pokemon/anything else weird)

Overview:(Put three or four sentences describing your character overall and put anything that wouldn't go in any other categories here.)

Introductory Quote: (Also write how your character introduces themselves to the rest of the apprentices and smashers. Nick tried to do one, but failed miserably because he can't tell if the microphone is on and then got insulted by Master Hand. By the way, if you've written another fan fiction and want to reuse a character, that's great. They're more developed that way, but whatever works.)

Secrets: (This means that this entire category is something that you need to personally message me about. This category is optional though. It needs to be personally messaged because if I like what you say, then anyone who just felt like looking at the other reviews could see spoilers for the rest of this story so TELL ME IN SEEEEEECREEEET. This category includes plot-related stuff. If you want your character to fall in love, if you want to betray the smashers, if you secretly have someone that's been trying to kill you ever since you screwed up major. Something like that- anything that will get it's own arc. Put a dark secret that your character doesn't want anyone else to know)

Reactions: (How they would react to various things, like [These are just examples] fighting, flirting [cuz Nick will BE THERE], bombing, fire, death, birth, cook-off, Ganondorf in a dress, Tiger shark, magic lamp, Optumus Prime, whatever the heck you can think of.)

Loves: (What they love and love to do!)

Hates: (What they hate and hate to do!)

Attributes: (This would go under Personality, but I'm just reminding you of something you might of forgotten. Like if they're competitive, a sore-loser, loyal, lazy, random [I know you're all going to say random]

Hobbies: (What the heck do they do when they're not on screen?)

Room: (Everyone gets their own room eventually, What does your character's room look like?)

Home World: (Which world your character was born in "Real World" "Pokemon World" "F-Zero World" "Mushroom Kingdom" (THIS HELPS ME A LOT!)

**Optional Stuff (You don't have to do this) (I'll also be updating every once in a while)**

Birthday: (If you want your character's birthday to be specifically addressed in the story.**)**

Friends: (Check out other people's reviews to see their OCs or just pick the one's I've already written about. Also, which Smashers and other video game characters they would get along best with.)

Shenanigan: ( Submitting a small story idea you have that involves your character)

Various: (Anything completely random like Ex. _"If your character were to be left alone in a room with a banana and a car wheel for several hours, what would happen", _or The thing your character should never be trusted to handle _Ex. "Jim Bean can never be trusted with a shovel because he always tries to bury himself alive!" _

Speech: (If your character has a funny way of talking, says words that aren't said often, or likes to use metaphors or puns _Ex. "Nick often mutters either ludicrous or ridiculous when there's something going on that doesn't include him" _or if they get an accent like Cheerio, or say Japanese suffixes like Zee.)

Enviorment: (How they will act in certain weather, or certain mood _Ex. "Jabalee will freak out in the fog because her great grandpappy was killed in the fog. She will also be oblivious to the mood of the room like she will act like normal when everything is real tense"_)

Morals: (Like... how would they react to a person coming on to them... If they would squish a helpless and defenseless bug, or just pluck and pluck all the little leaves off a tiny little bush. Also how they respect the law and agree with the rules of things.)

Assistant: (_Ex. Peach's Toad, Olimar's Pikmin, Lucas's Rope Snake, Nick's Green Pikmin, Zee's Riolu, and Trey's Pegasus. _Not supposed to be human, really just a bio weapon. Definitely **NOT **required, but if you want a little partner running around and helping you, put it here.)

Move set: (Try to make your character have an original move set as well as copy your trainer's move set.) Ex. If you trained under... Pikachu and your character fought with... nun chucks, then it would be some sort of combination of thunder shocks and spinning the nun chucks around. Or Mario, and you fought with your hands, then you could do anything from chucking poison shrooms instead of fireballs to jabbing people and having ice from ice flowers pinch the opponent. (This will only be used after the graduation phase of the story.) Also, how would your character arrive on the stage, Mario's pipe, Kirby's warp star~ be creative. Winning and losing poses and stuff. Need B Move, Down B, Up B, Side B, standard attacks, misc, and Final Smash. Be creative.

Team: Also, there will be teams for each character to fight on. There will be eight teams in total as well as the option to make a new independent team. Here are the options (These are all names I made up, you and your teammates can make up new ones. **This also determines who you will share a dorm or whatever it's called. Bigger than a room yet smaller than a house.**

Team Outrage: Simplicity is good. Fighters on this team give it their all, never quit, and are most likely muscle heads. People here know how to utilize brute force and weaponry. Team Leader is Link.

Team Lightning: Fighters on this team are the fastest out there, not just in pace, but mentally too. They keep their cool in intense situations and never slow down. Team Leader is Sonic.

Team Teeth: This group is made up completely of animal styled fighters. These fighters are completely vicious and are full of cunning tricks and other ways to annoy you. Team Leader is Pikachu.

Team Smarties: These fighters rely more on brain than brawn. They think things through before doing them and always have a back up plan for when something goes wrong. Team Leader is Mario.

Team Majesty: Fighters on here are known for their majestic way of attacking, fighting with style and grace. Very Wise and Smart people are on this team. Team Leader is Zelda.

Team Team: These Fighters rely on other people to get what they want. Their greatest weapon is each other and get together extremely well. They are filled with combination attacks. Team Leader is Olimar.

Team Cool: This team is filled with people who improvise everything. They know nothing and look good doing it. It's all part of the plan, they say when it's really not. Team Leader is Luigi.

Team Tricksters: A team filled with deviants who specialize in making themselves stronger by making their opponents weaker. Chocked full of techniques and style. Team Leader is Snake.

Sorry for talking about this for so long, but I want to make sure you give me _long and extensive _entries. The more detailed and interesting your character is, the more likely you are to become a main character. SO GOOD LUCK!

Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright… Hold on here.

Let me give you guys a bit more information. The Smash Apprentices will be living in the Smash Apprentice Mansion as in separate from the original Smash Mansion. People who don't have their own means of transportation (space ship, race car, flying horse) cannot get there easily as it is a two day hike on foot. If your character is over 16 then your trainer will give you some sort of vehicle at some point. (Like 2 hours for Sonic and 3 1/2 for people who have fast transportation and 6 for people who have things like a horse, small boat, or anything else that goes less than 30 mph. I don't know.)

Also, the MAIN thing here is this. Originally I was planning on having everyone come from the real world, but we get a Pokemon trainer so I was planning on everyone just being human, but then we get a Kirby so... HERE'S THE NEW DEAL! The only limit is this~ Your character has to be weak. As in "wouldn't last 30 seconds with a real smasher" Sorry if I'm coming off as angry while I'm writing. I'm actually very calm and understanding right now. So let me lmbidfy to you. The thing is the reason you are here is to train under a smasher not compete with them. 0~0...

Here's the basic sequence of events for this story.

1. You do some sort of retarded thing (jump down the toilet like Mario, do the Osohe dance, play Song of Time on a music instrument.)

2. Claus comes and gives you- an almost average person- a lift to Smash Mansion.

3. You are greeted by your mentor and make a good first impression.

4. You bump into Nick and his fancy Green Pikmin or another Smash Apprentice.

5. You ignore Master Hand's request to do paper work and go pick up your early birthday present.

6. There will be about 15 or something chapters about the first couple of Smash Apprentices coming through. (Before School Phase)

7. There will be another couple of chapters showing each person training under their master and interacting with each other. (During School Phase)

8. There will be some sort of chapter showing everyone getting their approval from their Master. (Graduation Phase)

9. Some sort of plot will finally take hold and we will all do something other than mope around Smash Mansion. (Adventure Phase)

Note: I will try to make it so anyone can join even if we've gotten an incredible way through the story already and I will try to do separate arcs for each character proving themselves to each other somewhere in time.

Also PLEASE send me any new information you have about your character. (Having to write entire dialogue and interaction about a character I only know 4 paragraphs about is A LITTLE TOO MUCH. Just a little ;p) Everyone doesn't get to be a main character. People who give me as much detail about their character get on my good side. People who don't give me much to work with will not get very far. Don't worry if your character seems to have a 2 page long summary. That's good.

And one thing I forgot to mention. You really only need to submit one character. The reason of this is so everyone gets to submit their own character and no one gets left out. You can however have buddies over with you. Someone asked if two of their pokemon could each separately train under a Smasher. My answer to this is (sorry) no. You ARE however, allowed to have your pokemon fight with you, simply mope around the mansion, OFFICIALY train under an item pokemon, but go and see and unofficially train under the person you wanted to train under originally. X)

I've already tried introducing four people at once and it really dragged, so each character gets their own chapter, but you'll probably notice a kind of "chapter grouping"

I forgot to mention as well (Devilish Smile Appears) As soon as everyone has gotten used to their surroundings they go under a certain "change". Crazy Hand straps you down to his examination table and doses you with questionable substance. The substance **_COMPLETELY REARRANGES YOUR DNA _to make it so you are technically the spawn of your traine****r**.Unless of course you really like the way your character looks and acts now. This was really the whole inspiration for me writing this, but if you want to deny it, then the most you'll get is 2 inch difference or a pair of Elf ears, but people who train under Pokemon or animal characters will become anthropomorphic unless you're just _too cool _for that. Me, Nick's going down to 5 feet tall as well as get some Hocotatian elf ears.

Sorry about the tremendous stream of author's notes! The story really picks up around Ch. 4-6, So far, a lot of people like 6


	2. Trey, Zee, Jack, and Nola

**This is it! Finally! I originally intended this to be done last Tuesday, but I had some unexpected encounters. Anyways, the page count goes up to 15 and word count being 6,920 (8,543 after editing!). A lot more than I originally hoped. It appears Nick now has more screen time than all the other characters combined (or near as much) so I forced him to take a break by going to Hocotate. Also, I'm not going to jinx myself be setting up a goal. It feels like this chapter kind of dragged towards the end because I would occasionally get really tired, lose inspiration, and do a scene change. Also, Document Manager on is weird, so there might be some weird stuff. Also, Cheerio can't talk, Nick can read the minds of plants, remember? Anyone else just hear's "Mip!" (To people who had characters with little screen time, I didn't think you characters were boring, It just seemed to start dragging around right after I introduced Jack) It's easier to write about Nick cuz I like pikmin and I'm just awesome, lawl.**

* * *

**_"Okay, Master Hand! All finished with that paper work!"_** screamed Nick from across Smash Mansion. Various Smashers awoke suddenly and were puzzled at who could be screaming as they had not yet even met Nick.

The screech made its way over to Master Hand's room making him wake with a start and Crazy Hand punch a hole in the window for no apparent reason.

"WINDOWS MAKE ME ANGRY!!! YARGH!!!"

_**Smash Mansion**_

_**Guest Room**_

Master Hand floated out of his bed silently and teleported to in front of the guest room where Nick and his Green Pikmin which he recently named Cheerio slept, but he just called him Cheeri for short.

Master Hand waited, his headache growing.

"…Well? Aren't you going to come out and give it to me?"

"Err…, could you just come in here and get it?"

Master Hand phased through the door to see Nick strapped down to the couch and Kirby looking cheerfully around.

"Master Hand! You have to help me! Kirby tied me down to the couch and now he's going to eat all my paper work that I actually filled out!" screamed Nick overdramatically thrashing around on the couch.

"Poyo!" squeaked Kirby.

"Mip!" squeaked Cheerio who was sitting quietly on Nick's stomach. Cheerio was entirely green in color which was to be expected since he was a green pikmin. He had a tail which was really just another stem attached to his end and both the stem and tail had a bud on them with light green petals instead of white. He was also a little shorter and rounder than a normal pikmin too.

"NOOOOO!" cried Nick. "Go Kirby! Go!" he added under his breath and Kirby began to inhale the papers which flew towards him.

Master Hand used his Hand powers to grab the papers out of Kirby's suction.

"Poyo…" he said sadly.

"These are blank."

"NO THEY'RE NOT!" Nick jumped out off the couch sending his green pikmin crashing into the window and ate the paper work himself. "GYAH! OUCH!" he said in pain, grabbing his chest.

Master Hand sighed hopelessly because he's depressing like that and said "I'll just put down random terms that involve digesting food for everything…" and then he floated away…

"Poyo! Poyo!" Said Kirby which really meant "Bye Nick! I'm going to go eat some of Toon Link's bombs now!" and he scampered off.

"Mip! Mip!" said Cheerio which really meant "'Elp! Meester Neek! I'm still stuck in zee vindow and zee glass ees starteen' to cut into me skeen!" as his legs struggled around on the inside half of the window.

"What was that? I can't really understand your accent. Here, let me help you out of that window" He said cheerfully.

_**Plop**_

The green pikmin fell out of the hole in the window.

_**CRASH**_

Crazy Hand broke in through the hole in the window.

"Nick! Guess what?" questioned Crazy Hand.

"The new Smash Apprentices are here today and you need me to go and get their trainers so they can go and greet them?" replied Nick

"**NO!** The new Smash Apprentices are here today and I need you to go and get their trainers so they can go and greet them!!!"

"…"

"So hop to it, hippy!"

"Hey! Quit stereotyping me!"

"Oh, then I guess I can get rid of this recycling bin I was planning on giving you?" Crazy Hand twirled out a recycling bin on his index finger.

Nick glared at it and reluctantly swiped it, walking away to get the Smashers.

"Better give me that recycling bin" he grumbled.

"I put the list inside the bin!" Crazy called After him.

"_Excuse me Meester Neek, May I hold zee recycling been for you?" _thought Cheerio.

"Sure." Nick handed over the bin to Cheerio who happily jumped up and down.

"Let's see…" He took out the list Crazy Hand gave him.

_Smashers:_

_1. Luigi, Apprentice Name: Trey_

_2. Fox, Apprentice Name: Zee_

_3. Snake, Apprentice Name: Nola_

_4. Captain Falcon, Apprentice Name: Jack_

"Great! First up is Luigi! Err…, Cheeri, Do you know where Luigi's room is?" Cheerio shook his head thinking _"Surry, Meester Neek, I vas unly born yesteerday"_

"Oh, that's right…" he said to himself.

He looked around for a little bit and didn't find anyone, so he went to the closest room around. The gym. _"Oh dear, I hate gyms. They're always full of muscle heads." _He walked inside with Cheerio riding on his head, looking around curiously for anything that might be interesting.

_**Smash Mansion**_

_**Gym**_

Inside they found Lucario meditating on the bench, Link was punching Sandbag, Meta Knight was standing on top of a shelf and holding Sandbag in place so he wouldn't move,

Sonic was running laps around the outer rim of the room which was really an incredibly long and fast tread mill, Toon Link was running on a smaller tread mill with one of his pigs and Samus in her Zero Suit, but Nick's eyes immediately went to Samus who had her eyes closed very tightly and was grimacing. The reason for this was because this was a technique she used whenever she was trying not to kill someone.

This is what she was thinking _"You know everyone in here. No one in here is rude enough to stare at you while you jog. Everyone in here is your friend and you've known them long enough to know this." _And then she kept repeating it over and over again while she jogged.

However she didn't know that Nick was currently in the room or about one of his most renowned quirks.

For Nick, time suddenly slowed to 1/8 its normal rate and Nick's eyes lost their pupils, turning completely black and a little drool came out of his mouth as he witnessed Samus in her extremely attractive… jiggly glory.

This is what he was thinking _"*Bounce*… *Bounce*…* Jiggle*… *Bounce*… *Boing*… *Boing*…*Jiggle*… *Bounce*…… zurrzurrzurrzurrzurrzurrzurr…." _And anyone who could see into Nick's past would know that "_zurrzurrzurrzurrzurrzurr…" _is the sound he makes when he's going to publicly embarrass himself due to getting really happy. Fortunately, he passed out and fell flat on his back with a stupid smile on his face and pink hearts in his eyes before anyone noticed him. This was fortunate because Samus would have time to calm down before she confronted him.

Lucario quietly opened one eye and when he did they both flew open and he stood straight up. "Toon Link! Don't look down!" Lucario used extreme speed so he could move Nick, therefore shielding the lower half of his body from sight.

_Smash Mansion_

_Front Yard_

"Okay, we're here…" Claus said emotionlessly. He was holding a boy around ten or twelve years old by the back of his shirt. He dropped him and the boy tried to land on his feet, but he collapsed on himself.

"Tell Nick that he better keep his promise or I'll be there when he sleeps." and then Claus blasted back off into the clouds.

The boy got up angrily and searched the skies for the person who dropped him so rudely, but found no one. "The next time I see him, something's going to get smashed…"

**

* * *

NEWCOMER:**

**TREY**

* * *

Hi! It's me again! Anyway this is Trey. He is eleven years old, mostly very calm, serious, and smart, but when he is angry, ooh hoo hoo, something will be smashed! He is a HUGE Sonic fan and hates R.O.B. and Mr. Game and Watch with a fiery passion. Not sure why, R.O.B. and G&W are actually some of my best players. He also comes from another dimension where he is the greatest fighter along with his Pegasus, Klonda. He also owns a sword which he uses to fight and describes himself as a powerhouse of randomness. He is white/part Chinese, has dark black hair, has brown eyes, and has a round face. He is husky and proud of it. He is 4 ft. 6 and his typical clothing is a long sleeved greenish shirt with a dragon on it, soft red pants with two white stripes on the side, no heel socks with brown, no lace sketchers. Overall, he's very random, but still serious. His introductory quote is "Hi! Glad to meet ya!" Except he requested a special introductory quote aimed at the smashers he hates "Hey ya! You better sleep with one eye open tonight!"

"Klonda!" He cried out to the clouds. A white, winged horse looking suspiciously like Epona descended from the spot in the clouds where he called. Klonda gracefully landed next to Trey. "So here we are…" He surveyed the area outside the mansion. He looked at Klonda then back at the entrance with a puzzled expression. "Where's… Luigi?" he asked himself.

_Smash Mansion_

_Entryway _

Trey was walking with Klonda by his side. He looked at a sign that said **NO ANIMALS ALLOWED**, but he knew that someone put it there just they didn't want anymore non-human smashers stinking up the place. He kept on walking until he saw a man with coal black hair, a calm disposition, and brown coat looking out the window. Trey went up to him. "Hi there!" he shouted suddenly appearing in front of his face.

"!!"

He yelled falling over. He looked at Trey with his eyes half closed in a daze and said "Oh, you must be Trey… The name's Quizy, nice to meet you…"

Trey eyeballed him. "Hey you! You said you wouldn't be back for a long time! You lied to me! I read How to SMASH:! Don't think I don't know…"

He glared at Quizy and Quizy uncomfortably looked at him with the floor, gritting his teeth. "Well, you see the funny thing is that it looks like with the people I'm dealing with, I'm going to have to explain a lot more than I originally intended, so I'm just gonna hang around until the part where-oh well, it doesn't really matter, here comes our next newcomer. Anyways, Master Hand's going to come along soon muttering to himself about paper work and I left you an early birthday present in the back yard." he said smiling. "Now run along, you young mind!" and then he left.

"Hmm, I wonder what color his socks were…" and he scampered towards the backyard, but was stopped by a bump in the rug.

"H-Hey… Hey you…" said the bump.

Trey went silent because the sudden appearance of a talking bump in the rug put him under pressure and caused Klonda to back into a corner in fright of the mysterious talking bump in the carpet.

"Here… Take this…" the bump slid out a map. "This is the map of Smash Mansion. I need you to use it to find all the smashers written on the map and tell them their job. The person I sent to do it originally walked in on Samus while she was jogging and passed out with an erection as ridiculous as that sounds."

Trey silently took the map, his eye balls never leaving the bump which we now know to have a mysterious connection to Crazy Hand.

"PSHEEEEEEW!!!!!" shouted the bump as it lit on fire and rocketed its way through the roof forming a rather large hole and taking the entire rug with it.

The rug slipped out from underneath Trey's feet causing him to fall over. He landed on his head and rolled around in pain as Klonda came over. Eventually he got over it, standing up for a few moments before he said "Err…," looking at Klonda and went off to find the necessary Smashers.

*****

A strange looking, ten year old girl walked in along with a Leafeon and a Luxray as well as a Riolu riding on her shoulder.

"ANYBODY HERE?!" she shouted.

"I don't see anyone." said the Leafeon.

"_(You think the place is deserted?)" _said the Luxray and the Riolu just looked around.

**

* * *

NEWCOMER:**

**ZEE**

* * *

Well, Zee is from the pokemon universe rather than the real world. She comes equipped with Evan, her Leafeon, Shyan, her Luxray, and her Riolu. She's ten years old and she's a shy, calm, quick learner and at times a hyper, temperamental, and thick-headed girl. She has one brown, cat slit eye, and one blue, cat slit eye. She has tan skin, long wavy, black hair with natural strawberry blonde highlights. She's very "healthy" looking (*wink* *wink*)/skinny or athletic. She wears a pink cat ear hat, purple lipstick, a pink tank top, purple half jacket, jean skirt, long, pink socks that stop an inch before her skirt and have toes, purple flip-flops that have little, pink bunearys on them, and a red belt. Zee is subconsciously afraid of Gengar. She's a pokemon trainer who doesn't use them unless in a pokemon battle. She never gets scared except to the point when she's meeting new people (unless they're jerks, then she snaps right out of it and scares them with her odd eyes), but she'll get really hyper around her friends. Her introductory quote is "I'm Zee Hikari Taiga, the trainer that doesn't use pokemon unless she has to!"

**

* * *

NEWCOMER:**

**SHYAN**

* * *

Shyan is a Luxray. She is a very good friend, making herself very loyal to Zee, however she is a little paranoid occasionally making herself jump to scary conclusions at times. She will always listen to Zee, especially when she's nervous or sad and when she attacks, she does it with style. She can't speak human, so she'll need a translator at times. She has a hard time waking up in the morning and if her opponent isn't fighting well, she'll get bored easily. The moves she knows are Thunder Fang, Shadow Ball, Bite, and Spark, yet most of the time she'll just attack using normal melee combat attacks. She originally wanted to train under Lucario, but Master Hand made some crap up at the last minute that prevented her from doing it.

**

* * *

NEWCOMER:**

**EVAN**

* * *

Evan is a Leafeon with blue eyes. Unlike most pokemon, he knows how to speak, read, and write in English because he forced himself to learn. He's smart, exciting, relaxed, and a bit of a clean freak at times. He has a very easy time waking up, unlike Shyan. He always complains if his room or study room is dirty and he wants to fight separately, by himself. The moves he knows are Iron tail, Grass Knot, Razor Leaf, and Bullet Seed and he attacks with an odd calmness, but he knows a secret move as well, but won't tell anyone what it is. He originally wanted to train under Mewtwo, but Master Hand made some crap up at the last minute that prevented him from doing it.

Just then. Master Hand appeared along with Sandbag.

"So I just go and show peoples 'round?" asked Sandbag tilting the upper half of his body towards Master Hand.

"Not just that, you'll also need to give them this paperwork." Master Hand held out a rather large stack of papers.

Sandbag lowered his eyes in a glare. "I am 'aving no 'ands to be carrying this giant stack of paperworks with." retaliated Sandbag.

"Just put them on the top of your head." replied Master Hand who did just that before they fell in a papery storm to the ground. "Oh…" he said.

"Excuse me?" piped up Zee.

The two Smash Crew Members turned towards the four Pokemon Universe Citizens.

"My name is Zee, this is Evan." started Zee

"Hi", said Evan.

"This is Shyan", continued Zee.

"_Luxray_", said Shyan.

"and this is my Riolu and we are here to compete as the Smash Apprentices that that Cyborg Guy told us about." she said friendlily.

"Do you need some help carrying all that paper?" asked Evan.

Zee and Shyan shot a quick glare at Evan.

"What?" he asked looking nervous.

"Yes, this would be going to be great! I am thanking you for your help!" complied Sandbag giving a quick hop of satisfaction.

Zee and Shyan groaned while Evan went over to help gather the scattered mess and the Riolu hopped down silently to help him saying "Ri!" as a greeting to Master Hand and Sandbag. Seconds later Shyan and Zee slowly went to help them.

"Your share of paperwork is in there as well. Make sure you do it." said Master Hand typically who floated off happily thinking about the new paper work he was going to get.

Then Quizy walked into the room again accompanied by Mr. Game & Watch.

_***Beep, *Beep*, *Boop***_

"Ahahahaha! I couldn't have said it better my self!" laughed Quizy.

_***Beep Beep* **_

"Ahahahaha! Ah…" he calmed down and looked at Zee, Shyan, Evan, Riolu, and Sandbag and then turned his head and winked at me, the narrator.

"Hi there. My name's Quizy. Just came by to let you know, Master Hand just likes to get business out of the way. He's not obsessed with paperwork or anything." he explained half to the audience, half to the Newcomers. And then he lowered his voice "Oh, and if you ever need any blackmail against him, then bring a video camera to his room every morning around 8:00. You might see something good…" and then he walked off leaving Mr. Game & Watch by himself.

_***Beep* **_

"**DIE, YOU!!!" **

An incredibly large explosion occurred right where Game and Watch was standing causing him to rocket up towards the ceiling and make a hole through it until the point where a twinkle appeared in the sky where he disappeared "_**BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!"**_, Sandbag to fly off in the distance shouting "WEEEEE!", and Zee shrieked and had to hold her skirt down so the wind wouldn't blow it up. Zee, Evan, and Shyan waited until the smoke cleared and saw Trey with a wild look in his eye.

"Four down, one to go!" He said grinning. Then he noticed Zee and got nervous. "Oh, uh, hi. You must be Zee, I'll go and get Fox now. By the way, the name's Trey! I guess I'll see you around." he said, walking off to get Fox for Zee.

"Bye, Trey." she said as Sandbag hobbled back over.

"Ah, this is very good fun, very good fun, Off we go now!" he shouted, but then he looked down. "YOU ARE DROPPING PAPERWORK FOR SECOND TIME?! YOU ARE TO BE PICKING THESE UP NOW!!"

_**Smash Mansion**_

_**Random Hallway**_

A very gothic/dark looking man was walking the halls unsupervised. Thank goodness he wasn't tall or else he would terrify the whole mansion.

**

* * *

NEWCOMER:**

**JACK GRIMM**

* * *

Ough, ugg. Jack gives me the jibbilies. I just call him the spooky guy who gives me the jibbilies, but he prefers you call him the Grim Reaper. Spooky, Spooky. Jack is 21, has a strong Boston accent, and half his face is covered by a mask that looks like a skull. He has tan skin with black, spiky hair, and you can't see his eyes. In addition to being very smart and able to see through every trap, Jack is the kind of guy who punches you in the face one day, and makes you laugh the next because he's easy to enrage, but even easier to befriend although he hates cocky people. He has an average figure, but packs a punch, wears white cloth around his hands, a black hoody with the words "Dirty Dozen" on it, and black pants and shoes. Jack fears nothing with the exception of height and he didn't feel like submitting an introductory quote, but he'll just introduce himself to new people with "My name's Jack, but I prefer the Grim Reaper" and then reside back into the shadows.

Jack stopped in front of a door and looked in through the glass on it. Inside was a Planetarium. There were various kid smashers inside including Lucas, Ness, Popo, Nana, Pichu, Squirtle, Toon Zelda, Toon Sheik, Plusle, Minun, Toon Link, the Yellow Alloy, and Young Link in his Deku form for some reason and they were all eating lunch. Jack looked around hoping to see someone else to go to, but found no one. He sighed and walked in through the door. The door closed behind him, but no one noticed him yet. All the kids were sitting around on a planet or moon eating some kind of food except for the Yellow Alloy who was laying on his back with his arms behind his head, staring at the stars.

"Come on Palk, why don't you try some ice cream or something?" said Lucas who was sitting next to the Yellow Alloy named Palk, offering him his ice cream cone.

"No, thanks." he replied.

"But it's good!"

Toon Sheik closed his eyes. "Don't press him, Lucas, he's in a trance right now." Palk, like the other alloys were a fusion of the polygons and wireframes, making them two different people. This caused them to space out every once in a while for reasons unknown.

Lucas shrugged. "How 'bout you Squirtle? Want some ice cream?"

"_Gimme! Gimme!" _shouted Squirtle in his mind. Lucas read his thoughts and handed it over to him. "Squirtle, Squirt!"

Jack was now considering leaving and trying to find someone else.

"Hey, Toon Link, what did that guy who was spying on Samus look like again?" asked Nana.

"Oh, well, the only the thing I can remember is that he had tan skin, black hair, and had black on…" answered Toon Link trying to remember the earlier event.

"I can't believe someone would do something like that to Samus! Just for being born pretty is no excuse to spy on people!" said Toon Zelda to no one in particular.

"Yeah, if it were- …ah……, AH……, _**AHH……,**_" said Deku Link who accidentally breathed in a flower petal through his nose/mouth/spout.

Jack decided he would look somewhere else.

"_**ACHOO!!!!" **_he shouted accidentally shooting out a magic Deku Bubble that propelled its way straight towards Jack and hit him in stomach therefore knocking him over.

"Ah!!!" he shouted and fell on his back. "Augh…"

Nana, looked over and saw Jack.

"It's Samus's stalker! _Get him!!!_" she shouted jumping on his belly while he was down and pummeling him with her hammer.

"This is what you get you pervert!" she said before she violently crashed into one of the planets.

"You wanna fight? Bring it on!" shouted Jack. Nana grabbed her head and looked up at Popo.

"Popo! Get off Uranus and help me!" she shouted.

"Oops", said Popo jumping off one of the planets to help Nana.

"We're the Ice Climbers! You can't beat us!" they said in unison.

All the kid smashers stood up to see the upcoming fight.

Just then, Sandbag hobbled in, followed by Zee, Shyan, and Evan.

"And 'ere we 'ave the- GOOD GOODNESS, WHAT IS GOING TO BE GOING ON NOW?!" he screeched as the Ice Climbers charged for Jack.

"What's going on in here?" asked Trey, confused entering the room while Zee, Shyan, and Evan suddenly realized there was a fight going on.

When suddenly…

"Oh, hey guys! You must be the new Smash Apprentices. Sorry I was out cold earlier. Anyways, the name's Nick, nice to-"

"ICE GRENADE!!" shouted the Ice Climbers and Popo took the pure ice grenade, pulled the pin out with his teeth and threw it at Jack, but ended up hitting Nick instead.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" he shouted blasting through the roof, creating a giant hole, taking Cheerio with him.

The Ice Climbers watched Nick fly.

Toon Link stood up and shouted "Wait a minute! That's the guy over there! The guy with that weird green thing on his back! Not this guy!" he pointed to the hole in the ceiling.

Jack still had a fierce look in his eyes. He was standing with his fists ready, looking at the Ice Climbers.

"Uh…" they said.

A large dust cloud appeared where they stood and a blue and pink blur could be seen heading in the opposite direction. One second later, the dust cloud followed the blur and then there was nothing there.

"Please don't fight!" shouted Zee.

……

"Err, yeah, fighting is bad and stuff, yeah…" agreed Trey.

……

Jack looked at the kids. _"Dang, Can't do anything in front of the kids, I can see it was a mistake. Better do something to make up for it." _Jack closed his eyes (if he had them) and sighed.

"Sorry" he said and left.

_**Alternative Earth (Pikmin World)**_

_**Wistful Wild**_

You see, the Smash Mansion was really just a giant mansion that was bigger on the inside than the outside. It was placed on an even bigger chunk of rock that floated through a strange rift type dimension that floated through the clouds. The Smash dimension was really just like a deserted sky world that contained portals to a small variety of worlds, past, present, and future (to an extent). If you looked off the giant mass supporting the mansion, you would see clouds followed by a depressing nothingness. If you simply hopped into the nothingness, you would appear in a place depending on your state of mind, so in a way, you just had to think about a place, and then you would be there. If you weren't thinking about anything, you would appear in a totally random place, which is what happened to Nick, however since Cheerio was with him, they went to Wistful Wild, which was where Quizy got the Green Onion.

"Ergh, oof, agh!" screamed Nick as he hit the ground headfirst, followed by rolling on his back, then flipping over and hitting his face again, sliding forward until he hit his head on a rock. "Ow…"

Then, Cheerio followed suit, but bounced on his bud, then flipped over gracefully spinning and suddenly landing on top of Nick's back on his butt.

"_Meester Neek ees alvight? Does he need feerst aid? Cheerio learned how to do CPR" _thought Cheerio.

Nick slowly pushed himself out of the dirt, his eyes closed "It's alright Cheeri, let's-" Nick's eyes opened and he saw a rather dim-witted and aggressive Gatling Groink.

"Hi there mister…uh… LET'S GET OUT OF HERE CHEERI! IT'S A WOMAN GROINK!" shouted Nick, grabbing his head in a panic.

"_AH WIMEN?!" _shouted Cheerio in his thoughts, also grabbing his head.

"Come here!" Nick said and grabbed Cheerio, placing him on his head. Cheerio lightly wrapped his tail around Nick's neck so he wouldn't fall off and they charged towards a nearby pit.

"WAAH!" screamed Nick with over excessive amounts of drama considering any average Captain could take down a Gatling Groink in less than 30 seconds, but I guess Nick was right since he was only a trainee.

Nick hopped down into the pit, looked over, and saw a dwarf red bulborb staring at him and its brother that Nick just accidentally crushed.

"Hi there, now… GET OUT OF MY HIDING SPOT!!!" he said kicking the bulborb out of the hole.

"_Thees hole is too filthy for sanitary conditions! We need to clean it immediately!" _thought Cheerio, taking out a feather duster with a determined look in his eye.

_**Smash Mansion**_

_**Battlefield**_

"Come on everybody, this way!" Quizy chanted leading the Smash Apprentices as well as Olimar and Crazy Hand through the door that lead to a open area on top of the Smash Mansion. "Come on, close the door behind you!" he said and Jack quietly closed the door behind him. The roof immediately propelled itself into the sky and molded into the battlefield from Super Smash Bros Brawl.

"Come on, sit" he said as the battlefield lifted itself higher into the sky, slowing to a halt and then sitting down, cross-legged.

Everyone sat down in their own manner except for Crazy Hand who just landed with a thud on his back, unconscious for no apparent reason.

"Now then, I'm going to have to explain some more things than I originally thought" started Quizy. _"A lot more." _he thought. "All you kids are now official members of the Smash Apprentices." he nodded to Trey, Zee, Jack, Evan, and Shyan. "Except you two pokemon, but you'll have to blame Master Hand for that."

The pokemon made upset faces.

"By being members of the Smash Apprentices, you will train under the Smashers and eventually gain their willpower and abilities."

"So I'm going to learn to shoot fireballs like Luigi?" interjected Trey.

"Well, yeah something like that. Of course, your abilities will be separate and unique from your original trainer (cuz I don't think we want another clone epidemic like back in melee…). Also, you will not be living in the Smash Mansion like your trainer, I and several of the Smash Crew will head out to a good spot to build another mansion in this universe and we will try to make some sort of bypass in-between them."

"Oh…" several Smash Apprentices sighed in disappointment, let down that they would not be able to greet their favorite smashers.

"And as soon as we have at least 12 apprentices, we will head out and live there. I will take the role of Master Hand there and Cheerio, the green pikmin, Evan, the leafeon, Shyan, the luxray, and Klonda, the Pegasus will serve as the fighting alloy team there until we actually get someone to train under Master Hand and the alloys.

"_w00t" _thought all the mentioned people minus Cheerio.

"And speaking of Cheerio, that's why you're here, Olimar." started Quizy.

"What happened?" asked Olimar.

"Well, you see, there was an issue with the Ice Climbers and the Jack and the Deku Bubbles and the- well, Nick got blasted to Wistful Wild and we need you to go find Samus and both get him back here…. And take the apprentices with you too, they could use some early action." Quizy added in an afterthought.

Olimar gave attention and saluted "On it, sir" he said, summoning the S.S. Dolphin and heading back down to the Smash Mansion to fetch Samus.

Quizy was left alone with Crazy Hand and the apprentices.

"…Wasn't there supposed to be a fourth person here?" asked Trey.

_**Real World**_

_**Random Apartment Complex**_

It was in the dead of night and the moon shone down on the pavement so that one could see Claus there, his sword quivering and his boots shaking.

"Oooooooooh…." he murmured.

Claus was standing outside of a random apartment. Cars would come speeding by and every once in a while, someone threw a beer bottle at him. He could hear cats and dogs fighting, every once in a while someone would scream. Claus teleported inside the building and the lights were flickering on and off. Everything in there was run down and ripped. Claus remembered the location he had been given by Master Hand.

Claus came up to the stairs and saw beer bottles leading up to the 13th floor. He reluctantly followed the trail.

_**Real World**_

_**Nola's Apartment Room**_

"Oaah…" groaned a girl laying practically undressed under the covers of her bed.

**

* * *

NEWCOMER:**

**NOLA HELINA**

* * *

Well then…, this is rather new. This is Nola. She's 22 years old and she has olive skin and red dreadlocks in her hair. Nola is pretty shy at first, but the more you get to know her, she becomes reckless and exciting, and eventually slutty. Her typical way of getting what she wants is to seduce men senseless. Her face is heart-shaped, her eyes are bright green and shaped like almonds, and she wears black lip stick. She wears a nose ring with a dead rose on it, has a perfect hourglass figure, average height, and is a little skinny. Her shirt is a red off the shoulders shirt that says "foxy" on it while her pants are black and look like they were sprayed on with spray paint and slit into two, held together by a gold chain. You can almost see her lacy black bra that people at Victoria's Secret would have been skeptical about. She also has red, high-heeled boots, a black choker necklace, and neon blue gloves that have teeth. She's a pretty naughty girl overall, she will help when she feels like it, and she's terrified of spiders. She's also pretty handy with a chainsaw.

Nola looked over next to her and saw a naked man in her bed that smelled like liquor. Her head hurt because she had a hangover, but she tried to remember why she had slept with a guy like _him_. He looked like the old rich guy from Monopoly.

"_Umm…. That's right. I needed some money so I could buy Pokemon Heart Gold." _she thought.

"Ururumph…" murmured the Monopoly looking guy.

"I wish I could just start a new life. This one seems kinda stressful." she said to herself.

She got dressed and walked out of the door.

_**Real World**_

_**Apartment Complex Stairs**_

Nola sat red-faced and drowsy from her hangover. She had also put her clothes on backwards. One of her high heels was falling off half way and she looked down the stairs, holding her face up with her hands.

Claus used his telepathy to read the person at the top of the stairs. He concentrated. The thoughts were slurred, but it was the girl he was supposed to retrieve. He groaned and used his wings to fly up the stairs. _"I hate the real world…"_

He landed at the top to see Nola, passed out, red-faced, and her clothes falling off.

"Hi, m- uh…, maybe I should just come back later…"

_**Alternative Earth**_

_**Wistful Wild**_

Nick flopped over on his back while the light in the pit dimmed. He looked up at the sky depressingly. Then his head flopped over to the green pikmin cleaning up the bottom of the pit. "Why do you like it so clean? You were born in the dirt for crying out loud." Nick pulled himself into a meditating position and closed his eyes, humming silently to himself. His ears perked up moments later as he heard the sound of Olimar's ship crashing into the ground, but at the same time, the piercing cry of an angry bulborb. "Oh great…"

Cheerio hopped up and turned around, _"Meester Neek, eez a dangerous bulborb near!" _

"Oh, it's not the bulborb we should be worried about." muttered Nick.

"_Exvactly vat does Meester Neek mean?"_

"Come here and see", Nick replied, his eyes half closed. He grabbed Cheerio by the stomach and place him on his shoulder. They peered out of the pit together, the light dimming and the creatures teeming. "Over there!" Nick pointed at a particularly aggressive looking bulborb.

Cheerio looked doubtfully at his natural predator, who was now glaring at him.

Cheerio squirmed around a little, trying to get away from the bulborb.

"Watch, watch…"

The bulborb began to take thunderous steps towards the two.

"_Meester Neek!"_

"Watch!"

The bulborb gave a fearsome roar. "ROAAAAAAAAH!!!"

When suddenly, purple pikmin upon purple pikmin came tumbling down on the bulborb, and after two seconds, it was dead. "GYAAAaaah…"

"See?"

Olimar emerged from the fray and by his side was Petal. (Da Red Pikmin from Ch.1 She's like the right hand man for Olimar)

Nick and Cheerio slid down back to the bottom of the pit, both sighing: Cheerio in relief, and Nick because he was going to be confronted by Olimar.

Nick inhaled the largest breath he ever took and put on a grievous expression, making his face suddenly pop out of the pit.

"Captain! Captain! You're here! Thank Goodness! I was all lost and stuff, man! Come on and let's go-"

"Save it", interrupted Olimar putting up his hand and Nick stopped in his tracks.

"_I didn't know Olimar had balls.." _thought Nick making a puzzled face.

"Am I in trouble?"

"I'm not sure, but Samus seemed to be quite irritated while we were flying here to get you", simply stated Olimar.

Nick quivered like a jellyfish in his shoes. "S-She's here?"

"Her and some Smash Apprentices too"

"Fantastic" breathed Nick.

Every single Smash Apprentice was wandering around Wistful Wild, except for Nola who was sitting on a blue onion, talking to Samus.

Evan and Shyan were running wildly, killing all the small animals and running from all the big ones.

Jack was trying to crack open an Iridescent Flint Beetle, but was having a hard time.

Zee and Trey were having Tea on a flat rock; Trey looked like he was enjoying himself while Zee looked a little bored. (It's flipped, 0~0)

"So… when exactly was the last time you had a boyfriend?" asked Nola.

"Never" replied Samus.

"_Never_" repeated Nola.

"Yes" ensured Samus.

"Are you sure?" questioned Nola doubtfully.

"**Yes**"

"Why?"

"Because!"

"Because why?"

"Quit!"

"Is there anyone you like?"

"I've never had and never wanted a boyfriend!"

"I doubt that…"

"Come on! Let's go help Olimar or something…" diverted Samus.

Nola followed with a smug look on her face.

"A little more" confirmed Olimar.

Nick showed his effort and discomfort while he struggled to climb out of the pit. His arms and legs flailed around as he made it a little way out.

Cheerio hopped out and handed Nick his tail which he used to pull himself out.

"Bwuh…" exhaled Nick, rolling over on his back.

He panted and laid on his back, then regained his composure and looked to the side causing his eyeballs to nearly pop out of their sockets when he saw Nola. In fact, there would probably be an incredibly long scene filled with questionable, yet boring and repetitive material that would end in another random scene change due to writer's block, so in order to prevent Nick getting even more screen time, he will be hit in the head by a writer's convenience.

"**Stop!" **yelled a flying red cone with a horn attached at the front. (Olimar's Company Ship's research pod for those who have actually played pikmin. It came from the sky and landed on Nick's head at unneeded speed, knocking him out and thereby preventing him from getting any more real screen time.

The research pod projected a holographic video of Quizy.

Quizy put two of his fingers up to his ear "**Quizy, here. This is a recorded message, so don't try talking to me because I can't say anything ba- Oh, hi Nola, glad you finally made it. Oh, wait… Never mind, This (chapter) has been going on for WAY too long. I am requesting an immediate rap-up sequence. Olimar will use his company ship and the S.S. Dolphin in order to transport all the Smash Apprentices."**

"Aww, we have to go now?" asked Evan, scampering in and dropping a dwarf red bulborb carcass while Jack followed glaring at a patch of grass that had a nervous looking Iridescent Flint Beetle head poking out of it.

"**Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, this day could (literally) go on forever, but it's just that time now. Oh, and Samus, Olimar's apprentice, Nick, needs to be taken to planet Hocotate in order so that he can get his Oxygen to Hoxygen filtering space suit. You should both be there for about 3 to 4 days. It is important that Nick gets this Space Suit so that he may travel with Olimar easily on missions and for something else that's a secret." **stated Quizy, putting his hand up to his mouth and giggling stupidly.

Everyone looked uncomfortably at each other. Then, the screen went blank and disappeared as Quizy shouted **"Byyyyye!"**

Everything was silent before the research pod spoke. "Well then, better sort out who's riding in the cargo hold and who's riding in the fancy leather seats!" and then it flew off obnoxiously to the Hocotate Freight Ship, attaching itself to the top, smugly for no apparent reason.

"Well, I'm gonna go ahead and take off for Hocotate", said Samus bored, placing the unconscious Nick on her shoulder and taking off.

"I'll see you later, Olimar, Kids" she waved, stepping into her ship.

"The coordinates for Hocotate's star system is in your ship!" shouted Olimar as a goodbye.

"Bye!" said several apprentices, waving goodbye as well.

The ship took off into the sky, it's destination was Hocotate and it wasn't coming back for awhile.

"Well…" croaked Nola awkwardly.

"Ladies first" muttered Jack.

* * *

**Ask Quizy:**

There was an empty stage and Nola and Jack spontaneously appeared in a whiff of smoke. A couch appeared behind them and they sat down. Then, A Chinese torture chair appeared with me in it and my limbs strapped down. I had no idea what was going on. "Okay, Quizy, man! You got some 'splainin' to do!" yelled Nola. "Why exactly did you cut so much of my screen time out of the chapter?!"

"Er, uh, well, you see the chapter just seemed to drag on for so long, I just kinda lost inspiration! It's not my fault!" I explained while struggling in the chair.

"Why did you have to make the story so dang long then?!"

"I'm sorry!"

"You know Nola, I think we _could _just make a deal or something." cut in Jack.

"Yeah! I was planning on making you the main characters for next chapter because I felt bad!" I confessed.

Nola blinked. "Oh, well in that case, You're off the hook" she said smiling.

"This is called **Ask Quizy **right? So that means we get to ask you stuff?" asked Jack.

"Yup" I said, still tied down to the chair."

"So, what the hell is Hoxygen?"

"Hoxygen is the air Hocotatians breath. Pikmin never directly identifies what Olimar breathes so I made some crap up."

"Typical" muttered Nola. "And what were you talking about when you said you were going to have to explain a lot more than you originally intended? Are you calling our creators stupid?" she pressed.

"No, no, no, no! It was just a joke. I don't really think you're all stupid, it's just that there's a lot of things I was planning on doing in the story that I can't explain all at once. Also..." Nick turned his head towards the audience. "About that... there are times during writing when one reaches a bump, and one reaches that bump, one has to make some crap up at the last minute and ignore that bump. Occasionally, I will have to do this with people's characters. If you really don't want me to mess up your character, then I added some optional doohickys to the character submission form thingy on chapter 1"

"Oh, really?"

"Yes."

"And why did you make Samus take Nick to Hocotate. Why not Olimar?" asked Jack.

Nick grinned. "You'll see, it's character development. Plot related stuff and what-not."

"Well, I'm satisfied!" grunted Nola.

"Me too." muttered Jack.

"See you next time on **How to SMASH!!:**!!!" they all said, and the screen went blank.

**_..............._**

"...Can you let me out of this chair now?"

"Actually... I lost the key, but here's a computer to keep you occupied until I find it, Happy Writing!"

"Wait, what?!"

* * *

**So, yeah... Sorry to everyone who got their screen time robbed by me... I don't think I'll be getting in the way anymore... Oh yeah, uh... Palk. Had to give the Yellow Alloy a name other than Yellow, so planetarium and crap- space- Palkia, space controlling pokemon- Palk. That's his name. I like the idea of a Toon Sheik so I put him in, seperate from Zelda due to _MAAAAGIC_****. Yeah. Good grief, I was considering just introducing everyone in the next chapter, but if I did that the thing would be like 40 pages long. We'll see. And about Crazy Hand, I randomly decided that he hates windows for no good reason and will smash one any time he enters a room with one.**


	3. Dark Kirby Jr

**Doo doo doo! Well, not much to say about this chapter except for the fact I'm now dividing up the chapters so they don't drag, but each bundle of chapters is a part... so this would be part 3. This part is sectioned mainly on New Super Mario Bros Wii because man, that game divides people apart. I played it for one day and now my family hates each other. Personally, I side with the propeller shrooms, but some people seem to think they're cheaper than the cape and tanooki suit. Oh, and on the part where it calls Sebastian gay- Sebastian is my annoying step-bro, and apapa, this is not the same Sebastian I sent you. The only thing these have in common is the name. He repeatedly wrote "nick is gay" like a billion times in here while I was typing because he thinks he's funny like that. So no questions asked!**

_**

* * *

**_

**_PART THREE: THE POWER UP WARS_**

...

_**Smash Mansion**_

_**Guest Room**_

"Propeller Shrooms!" argued Zee.

"No! Fire Flowers!" pressed Nola.

"What's wrong with you?! Penguin Suits are where it's at!" broke in Trey.

"Penguin Suits? Seriously?" asked Nola, swinging her head around.

"Personally, I kinda like the Mini Mushrooms…" stated Evan.

"No one asked you, Evan!" screeched Nola.

"Geez…"

Shyan was laying asleep on the floor and opened one eye _"What are they fighting about again?" _she spoke in Pokemon language.

"You don't wanna know…" he answered.

No one paid attention to Jack who was sitting on the end of the couch. "Wouldn't Super Stars be the best power-up?" he inquired raising his eyebrows.

Everyone shot angry glares at him.

He sighed and sat down next to Evan, Shyan, and Klonda. "So how are all of you guys doing?"

"Oh, you know, a little of this a little of that" answered Evan in a bored tone.

"Propeller Suits let you avoid anything, jump through levels, and provide awesome air mobility!" shouted Zee.

"Fire Flowers allow you to light up dark caves and even take out enemies from a distance!" argued Nola, things now getting intense.

"We-" started Trey opening his mouth.

"Look, Trey, a Penguin suit would look just plain stupid on you so don't even start!" yelled Nola and Trey closed his mouth. Nola breathed smoke out of her nose she was clearly loosing her temper and in her rage, she broke the TV that was playing New Super Mario Bros Wii with her wiimote.

Everyone stared in shock, not realizing how incredibly dramatic and ridiculously angry they had gotten over an argument about Mario Power ups when suddenly the power went out and nobody could see anything.

"Why do you care so much about New Super Mario Bros Wii power ups, Nola?"

"Because they're important!"

"I beg to differ."

"Why are you sweating so much, Nola?"

"Hey guys! Look at that cloud over there!"

"Ouch! That's my tail!"

"Oops, sorry."

"Neigh!"

"Luxray!"

"Ri!"

"I'm hungry, when's breakfast gonna be ready?"

"Ouch! I tripped on someone's foot!"

"Oh, woops, I meant to trip Trey, sorry Zee."

"Why were you trying to trip me?"

"Because you're a Gary Sue"

"What's a Gary Sue?"

"It's what you are!"

"Alright all you guys have fun yelling at each other, I'm gonna go check out the outside… Where I can see…"

"Bye"

"Zoot"

"I'm still hungry…"

"Aren't there supposed to be new Smash Apprentices getting here soon?"

_**Smash Mansion**_

_**Dining Room**_

"_OMNOMNOMNOMNOM_"

The power came back on and Crazy Hand was rubbing his face all over the cereal bowl, getting Lucky Charms all over his face, but then looked up and saw Jack, giving an intense, silent stare, not moving, and not breathing. He said nothing until…

_***PITEEW!***_

He exploded for no apparent reason, leaving confetti everywhere and mad cackle bouncing across the halls. _"WAHAHAHAHA!!!"_

"Weird…"

Then Nola walked into the room. "Oh, uh, hey there" she looked around and slowly a grin appeared on her face and edged towards Jack.

"So… it looks like we're alone here now…"

"Yeah… we are…" a smile appearing on his face, getting the hint.

She slowly started to edge closer "So... you ever made out with a girl like me before?" she said with a meaningful look in her eye.

"Well~"

"Weeeeeeee!" shouted Trey, running in through the door sliding on his belly as if he were wearing a penguin suit. "Weeee!" he still shouted and then barreled into Jack.

"Whoa!" he shouted and then growled, sitting on the floor.

Nola glared at Trey.

Then Zee ran into the room and jumped up into the air, spinning around rapidly shouting "Yippee!" and then accidentally falling on her tummy. "Ow…"

"This is ridiculous…" muttered Nola, giving up hope and taking a seat at the table. "…Why is there confetti here?" she asked picking up three strands. She looked at them curiously and found out that they all had _**"SEBASTIAN IS GAY; NO QUESTIONS ASKED!" **_written on them, so as the strands said, she didn't ask any questions, completely forgetting the matter in an instant.

"What's your favorite Mario Bros power up, Jack?" asked Zee lifting her face up off the ground.

"My favorite or the one I think is best?"

"The best of course!" exclaimed Trey.

"Super Stars, they make you invincible! With everything else, you're vulnerable!" he said laughing.

"But, you can still fall off edges and that power rush makes you a little reckless!"

"All right then! If we settle which power up is best will you leave Jack and I alone?!" shouted Nola suddenly.

"Well… yeah, I guess. It doesn't really matter we were just kinda playing around, but-"

"Then it's settled!" Nola exclaimed, interrupting Zee and pointing into the air.

"What are you doing?" asked Jack.

"We're going to visit a friend of mine" said Nola, without turning her head and walking out into the backyard.

"Everyone follow the slutty lady!" shouted Trey, striking a Super Mario pose in mid-air, but then he got hit in the face by a rock and fell on his back.

"Only I can call myself that!" she shouted back.

_**Smash Mansion**_

_**Back yard**_

"_The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round! 'Round and 'round! 'Round and 'round! The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round! All day lo~" _

"Shut up, Quizy, you have visitors!" shouted Nola across the back yard as Quizy's voice projected itself from an unseen place.

"Visitors? Did you bring me some food~ Maybe~ Please~…" called Quizy from his spot.

"If you do good, I'll bring you some food" Nola promised.

"Awww" Quizy poked his head out of a small dog house that had a name plate saying **DO NOT FEED THE QUIZYS**. There was also a food and water bowl that both said Quizy on them. They were both empty and Quizy looked a little stressed and wanting.

"Now, let's get down to business" she said putting her hands on her hips.

"You're not going to make me beg for a doggy biscuit, are you?"

"I was just wondering exactly how different is the real Smash Bros and the Game Smash Bros?"

"Well, what do you want to know?" he asked with a glazed look in his eyes.

"What are the items? Are there New Super Mario Bros Wii power ups in it?"

"Well, NSMBW wasn't introduced until after Brawl, but yeah, we did eventually get some Mario Bros Power ups as items."

"Then let the brawl begin!" she shouted and suddenly turned around, running off, the others silently following her.

"Wait, aren't you gonna untie me?!?!" he shouted after her.

_**Smash Mansion**_

_**Final Destination**_

"Why are we moving so fast?!" shouted Zee, who was being shoved in the back by Nola.

"How come I'm still following you all?" questioned Jack, who was being violated by the mind of Nola.

"Did you really just trip me again!?" gasped Trey in disbelief on the ground after being kicked in the legs by Nola.

"Hurry up, the faster we get this done the better!" said Nola impatiently, being the unpredictable and loveable Nola.

They all stopped in the middle of the stage suddenly.

"Sit Quizy" commanded Nola who pulled a chain that tied around Quizy's neck at the end.

"Arf" barked Quizy indifferently, sitting down like a dog.

"We are going to figure out which power up is best so that we can get on with our lives! Trey will fight only with his penguin suit, Zee with her propeller suit, I with my Fire Flower, and Jack with his Super Star. Now, set up the match." Nola explained and then hurriedly untied Quizy.

"I think I'll sit this one out. This is **way** too much trouble for a make out session and I can see that I can't convince you to calm down, so good luck."

"_I WILL get my make out session!" _she thought.

Quizy happily stood up, free for once, and back flipped back into the sky and landed on a pokemon trainer-esque platform. He then proceeded to sit down normally and hold his palms up. A blue screen appeared and he took out a stylus and started muttering to himself. "Let's see… Propeller Hats… Special Brawl… Special Conditions… Number of Players… Characters… Stage… It's all set!" he exclaimed standing up. "Who all's playing?"

"Me!"

"I am!"

"Let's get this over with already!"

_**SPECIAL BRAWL**_

_**PLAYERS: 3**_

_**CONTESTANTS: NOLA HELINA, ZEE HIKARI TAIGA, TREY**_

_**ITEMS: NONE**_

_**RULES: ASSIGNED STAUS ONLY, 2 STOCK**_

_**TIME LIMIT: 7 MINUTES**_

_**ASSIGNED STAUSES: NOLA HELINA- FIRE FLOWER, ZEE HIKARI TAIGA- PROPELLER MUSHROOM, TREY- PENGUIN SUIT**_

_**READY?**_

_**THREE!**_

_**TWO??**_

_**ER, ONE AND A HALF!**_

_**SIXTEEN!?!?**_

_**NINTEY-NINE POINT TWO DIVIDED BY SEVEN TO THE FOURTH POWER!**_

_**GO!**_

…_**AND A HALF**_

Immediately, all three apprentices gained their assigned statuses. Nola grinned and began tossing fire balls, her clothes turned white and shiny black. Zee dodged them by twirling her propeller, she wore a pink propeller suit with an emblem of a Riolu on the sides of her helmet, however Trey, who was wearing a penguin suit with green arms and red feet, got hit by a fireball in order so that people thought of him less as a Gary Sue. "Really, I'm not a Gary Sue! Quit being so mean to me!" he shouted and then got pummeled by Zee who used the propeller to spin ground pound.

"It looks like Nola's letting loose a barrage of fire balls", narrated Quizy "and Zee's doing a good job dodging with her propeller suit, but it looks like Trey's having a little trouble getting the momentum to slide on his belly at attacking speed! Now Trey's countering with his ice balls, but the penguin suit can only supply three ice shots at a time!" Quizy looked like he was enjoying himself as well as Jack who was standing next to him.

"You can do it, baby!" he called out to Nola. She smiled and raised her eyebrows suggestively. Jack shot a suggestive look back as Nola started pummeling the kid apprentices with her fire blasts.

Suddenly, a super smash bros remix ring tone sounded. Quizy exclaimed "Oh!" and took out a Nintendo DSi. He pulled out the stylus and tapped a few buttons and Master Hand appeared on the screen.

"**The first Smash Apprentice for today is currently arriving at Smash Mansion." **buzzed the Nintendo DSi and then it closed by itself.

"Oh look at that, it's time already…" mumbled Quizy to himself. He stared at the sky for approximately three seconds then turned to Jack. "Would you mind fetching Ganondorf and take him to meet his new apprentice?" He didn't wait for an answer. He turned his head back to the fight and simply pushed Jack off the platform into the abyss.

"**WHY YOU**UUuuuu…!" shouted Jack as he disappeared out of sight.

_**Smash Mansion**_

_**Living Room**_

Jack landed on his back, hitting the couch with a thunderous thud. He sat up and the TV currently had the match on between Zee, Trey, and Nola. Evan, Shyan, Riolu, and Klonda were all watching as well.

"Hey, what's up?" asked Evan.

"You sure do seem to be talking to me a lot lately"

A tear swelled up in Evan's eye. "W-What are you t-talking about? I-I thought we w-were buddies! D-Don't you appreciate me?"

"Whoa, Evan. What's with the sudden drama outburst?"

"Just kidding!" he smiled with a happy face, but then got real serious. "But seriously, what are you talking about?"

Jack looked the other way. "It's… not important…"

"Tell me!" shouted Evan.

"I'M… PREGNANT!!! And the father is Crazy Hand!"

"This is some messed up crap" murmured the bump in the rug, appearing a short way from the scene.

_**Real World**_

_**Quizy's House**_

"Heehee, that'll get some attention for sure!" Quizy chuckled to himself, writing How to SMASH: on his laptop, sitting on the couch.

"What do you think you're doing?" asked a shadowy figure, appearing behind the couch out of the shadows.

"Jack?!" shouted Quizy, turning around dramatically.

"_**AND ME TOO, BUB" **_stated Crazy Hand in an unusually dark and scary voice.

"What are you guys doing here in the real world?!"

"Take care of him, Crazy Hand" muttered Jack.

"_**ON IT, BOSS" **_Crazy Hand then proceeded to beat the living snot out of Quizy while Jack took the computer.

_**Smash Mansion**_

_**Ganondorf's Room**_

"And that is why you do not question my authority…" stated Jack in an -as-a-matter-of-fact voice to Ganondorf who was sniveling in a pile of blood.

"_Is that really necessary?" _said Quizy.

"Now get out of here!!!" he shouted and Ganondorf screamed like a little girl and ran out of the room.

"_Okay, that was a little much, Can I continue writing now?"_

_Jack handed the computer back to Quizy and he continued writing._

_**Smash Mansion **_

_**Front Yard**_

"Looks like today's the day" claimed a small, dark puffball to itself.

**

* * *

**

**NEWCOMER:**

**DARK KIRBY JR.**

**

* * *

  
**

The kirbys are coming! The kirbys are coming! Please welcome the third ball fighter in the history of Smash, Dark Kirby Jr. The most prominent part of his personality is that he hates love. Any cuddling will make him queasy and he will throw up if he is hugged. He is the younger brother of an extremely powerful being known as Dark Kirby. He is quite calm and much less violent; wouldn't even mind if you clasped him with a table. He is just like Kirby except pitch black, with small bat wings, a long fang running out of his mouth, and has no sense of humor. He has a fighting style similar to Kirby's and his introductory quote is "Hi, the name's Dark Kirby Jr., I'd rather not talk about my brother."

Ganondorf glared at his apprentice. "A Kirby?! I expect an extremely powerful apprentice and I get a Kirby?! This is an insult! A disgrace! A rude remark to all of Gerudo kind!" he ranted.

"I'm standing right here, you know?" remarked Dark Kirby Jr. calmly.

"I know alright" glared the Gerudo King.

"You want me to prove my skills?"

"Go for it"

Dark Kirby Jr. showed off some melee attacks and followed up with some special moves. He began inhaling air (B Neutral), Hit the ground with a mace (B Side), Transformed into a purple ghost and flew up into the air (B Up), however they all left him panting uncontrollably after using them. He sat down and looked up, panting still.

"Well, I see you're not completely useless, time to show you around the mansion, my new apprentice." said Ganondorf gettin' a beat in his step!

_**POW!**_

"Ouch!" screeched Ganondorf.

Dark Kirby Jr. tossed the baseball bat he held behind him. He narrowed his eyes and whispered to the audience "If anyone asks, it was a piece of bird poop, REALLY BIG bird poop,… made out of wood."

_**Smash Mansion**_

_**Living Room**_

Trey was in a corner, twiddling his fingers and sniffling. "W-Why is everyone suddenly being so mean to me? What the heck is a Gary Sue?" he sniffed.

Dark came and poked Trey in the chest. "Quit crying, at least you have fingers. Do you know how hard it was for me to get here when I don't even have any fingers?"

Trey was startled at Dark's appearance and as if by magic, everyone suddenly stopped being mean to Trey because they had all proved the he is not a Gary Sue.

"Well, what's going on over here?" said Dark, walking over to the TV to watch the match between Zee and Nola with his hands behind his back. He looked up at the screen curiously. At this point, Klonda, Evan, Shyan, and Riolu had all scattered throughout the mansion.

"Currently, two other apprentices are in a battle. They'll appear here when they've finished." explained Trey.

Then, Jack walked into the room and saw Ganondorf. He glared at him, but Ganondorf didn't really care.

"Come on, apprentice. I'm going to tell you about your new training program." called Ganondorf, motioning to Dark with his hand.

He just put up his arm stub, not taking his eyes off the TV. "I want to meet the winner of this match" he said emotionlessly.

Finally, as if on queue, Nola shot a triple fireball beam at Zee, causing her to take damage and lose her balance. Nola took advantage of the moment and kicked her off stage.

_**GAME!**_

_**THIS GAME'S WINNER IS… NOLA!!!**_

The screen showed a nature scene. There was a mountain in the background, clouds in the sky, a puddle in the foreground on the left with a small tree on the right, a tall, jagged rock in the middle, and in front of everything, there was a golden platform. Nola stood sticking her leg out in front of her, her hands on her hips, and smiled with lowered eyes at the audience, standing on the gold platform. Zee stood on the rock behind her, clapping happily.

Then, they appeared in the living room as well as Quizy.

"Well done ladies! …And Trey too…" congratulated Quizy.

Trey got an overjoyed look on his face, putting is hands together, and being incredibly overdramatic.

"Thanks, Quizy-San" thanked Zee.

"_Oh ho ho, she called me san!" _giggled Quizy in his thoughts.

"Come one! I wanna go again! That was so much fun! Who wants to fight me?" shouted Nola, jumping up and down recklessly.

"But Nola, what about-"

"Shut it, Jack. I'm busy!" Nola interrupter Jack.

"I want to fight you" stepped up Dark Kirby Junior, narrowing his eyes and brandishing his fang.

"Great! Come on! Let's go! I'm ready! What are you waiting for?!" screeched Nola.

"Not now, nitwit. My master wants to speak to me as his student. Later, when I'm done" denied Dark.

"Awww…" sighed Nola, disappointed.

"_Hmph, I got a good apprentice after all." _thought Ganondorf and without speaking he left with Dark.

"What's his problem?" asked Zee.

"I don't know, but he's cool" said Trey and then he left.

"So did you find out which power up was the best?" asked Jack hopefully.

"Yup" they both said in unison.

"What is it?"

"Penguin Suits" they confirmed.

"…What?"

_Preview of Next Time!_

"_Hi there! My name's Ala-Gold, and personally I prefer the air, so I'm voting for propeller hats!!" shouted the Yellow Toad, jumping up and down in the booths. _

"_Bucken-Berry. That's my name. I really don't care for power ups. I prefer my Yoshis. I think they're more reliable!" nodded the Blue Toad._

"_I don't care what you think!" shouted Ala-Gold, throwing a poison mushroom at Bucken-Berry causing him to flip up into the air and "die"._

_

* * *

_

**Yes, wonderful little segment wasn't that? Trey was picked for a good chunk of the story because approximately two people called him a Gary Sue. The "strongest fighter" thing I was planning on addressing later. I was planning on making his dimension entirely inhabited by vegetables or something, therefore making him the strongest, but whatever. I didn't really like the results screen's design so I made a new one, and you know me and my hippy imagination... Also, the war is not over. The entire "part" will be dedicated to people fighting it out over the best Mario power up. Wasn't really sure what to do with the Dark Kirby Jr. introduction scene, so the answer was nothing! Seeing as he has no sense of humor and isn't violent, a just made him a mini-meta knight. Cold and Cocky. (Except for the part where he whacks Ganon with a bat) The part where he talks about the bat being bird poop was inspired by a couple days ago when I got pooped on by a bird. It was really heavy for some reason and was colored like wood... And finnaly, Ala-Gold and Bucken-Berry are the official nick names for the yellow and blue toads on NSMBW made up by the game's designers apparently.**

**P.S. Sometimes, I'll update the rules for entry part for those who didn't notice. So go ahead and check up there.**


	4. Irani and Lill

**Ala-Gold and Bucken-Berry make their debut... And so begins the grand and glorious fame of the two ridiculed yellow and blue toads. Anyways, I drew a picture of the two. Go to Deviant Art and simply search Ala Gold and Bucken Berry. Also found out that IGN also named the toads so their names are officially Berry Yvan Bucken and Gold Wolley Ala in my book. In fact... I may write may SECOND story with them as the main characters. Also... writing a story with no plot so far and the realization there won't be one for another 10 chapters DRIVES ME INSANE! It's also incredibly boring AND THE FACT THAT I ACTUALLY HAVEN'T COME UP WITH A PLOT YET DOESN'T HELP! Apparently, Gold has got it out for Sonic too, and I put character descriptions on my profile and Mario's accent is considerably worse than Luigi's.**

_

* * *

Smash Mansion_

_**Mushroomy Kingdom**_

"Hi there! My name's Ala-Gold, and personally I prefer the air, so I'm voting for propeller hats!!" shouted the Yellow Toad, jumping up and down in the booths.

"Bucken-Berry. That's my name. I really don't care for power ups. I prefer my Yoshis. I think they're more reliable!" nodded the Blue Toad.

"I don't care what you think!" shouted Ala-Gold, throwing a poison mushroom at Bucken-Berry causing him to flip up into the air and "die".

"Once again, the apprentices are at it. They have still yet to settle on the best power up and have ended up dragging a few smashers into the matter. Currently, Dark Kirby Jr., Zee, Riolu, Mario, Luigi, Toon Zelda, Pichu, Sonic, Captain Falcon, and a new character I don't recognize are all gathered here at the Mushroomy Kingdom. I guess Sonic is going to have to sit this one out though due to him being _sooo_ incredibly awesome, but I really wish he could have joined. Really, I do. I'm not lying, quit looking at me like that." narrated Ala-Gold from an unseen narrating booth in the clouds. Soon, Bucken-Berry floated back up in a small bubble, his arms crossed and an irritated look on his face. Ala-Gold smiled nervously.

Captain Falcon took a step forward, "So, we basically just see who can get to the end of this level the quickest?" he asked, excited about some fresh competition.

Dark took the liberty of explaining the matter, closing his eyes and putting his arms behind his back while jumping up on a warp pipe so he was at eye level with everyone. "We are gathered here today in order to debate which power up from the mushroom kingdom universe is most reliable/strongest. Each participant will be given a distinct ability and then attempt to complete the course in the shortest and most stylish fashion. The winner's status will be declared best power up. We have forced Quizy to drag the power up experts themselves, the Yellow and Blue Toads also known as Ala-Gold and Bucken-Berry, here in order to judge the true winner if a tie occurs. Now..." he said opening his eyes. "Choose your power ups"

The group looked at each other, then Mario stepped forward. "I-a-choose the cape ability! It's always-a-helped-a-me to find-a-the way to the goal line!" Mario spontaneously gained the cape ability. "Yippee!" he screamed, spinning around.

Luigi followed his brother's example. "Well, then. I guess I'll choose-a-the Boo Mushroom! I never really liked Boos until recently, but I have always-a-respected them!" he yelled, suddenly transforming into his Boo form.

Not to be out done, Sonic jumped forward, preventing the others from stealing his spot light any more he looked Dark in the eye and shouted "I don't know nothing about Mario, but I know for certain that I want the power up that makes it so I don't have to barrel into people to kill them!" Sonic got the hammer bros suit. "All right! This is what I'm talking about!" he grinned throwing a hammer and patting his new black shell. He also had a black Helmet on his head that messed up his spike-hair a little.

Captain Falcon pushed Sonic into the ground and pointed at himself "Well, I'll pick the metal cap, the cap with the most fire power out there!" Captain Falcon became pure Metal and he focused his energy releasing a fiery aura.

"Hi everyone, if we're choosing the power up we think is best, I think I'll choose the Bee Suit!" Toon Zelda happily chose the Bee Suit, her dressing turning yellow, with the patterns on it turning brown. She also got a fuzzier crown with Bee antennas growing out of it as well as a pair of bee wings on her back.

"Shell, Pichu!" happily chirped Pichu giving a quick hop. Pichu was currently learning how to speak English, but he could only say one or two syllable words. He also wore the blue goggles from Melee on his head and a blue bandana around his neck.

Dark looked at Pichu and thought _"I guess that means Blue Shell"_

"Pichu, Pichu No Stomp Pu!" Pichu jumped up and down and looked exactly the same except he had on a blue shell with a lightning bolt on the back for the sake of customization of course.

"I think he means he's happy because no one can stomp him now" half-translated Zee. "And could Riolu get a mini mushroom so it's easier to carry him around?"

"Riol_uuu..." _said the Riolu, suddenly growing smaller and his voice getting higher pitched towards the end.

"Te-he, you're so cute now, Riolu-kun!" giggled Zee to herself, picking up Evan with one hand.

"_ri!" _

"It's true!" she giggled some more and then put Evan down. "Well then, I'm going with the good ol' propeller mushroom!" she said as she once again suited up in her pink propeller suit with the Riolu emblems on the side.

"Oh, so I guess it's my turn now?" inquired a new Smash Apprentice girl shyly.

* * *

**NEWCOMER: **

**IRANI CAIRU **

* * *

New Character already? Whatever... This is Irani, a seventeen year old girl with a great knowledge over computers and books. She is a calm and collected girl, however she will get suspicious and sometimes even rude around new people. She is an expert when it comes to computers, math, and anything involving IQ power, but fails at using the other side of her brain. She'll get jealous if she thinks you're better than her at computers. She is very loyal and sensitive to other people's problems, but a pain to befriend. Her hair is wavy black and goes down to her waist. She has black eyes and tan skin while she wears a white t-shirt covered by a dark red vest and also wears dark blue jeans and brown boots. She wears a red tiara too. She is a little short for her age, and she has a not too fat, not too skinny figure.

"Yes" replied Dark, jumping on his dark warp star in preparation to take off.

"I pick the ice flower... the Super Mario Galaxy version of course" she answered quietly. Her feet suddenly turned to ice and then the frost slowly creeped up until it covered her entire body.

"_I'd like to see my old friends say I'm not _cool_ now!" _she said her voice bouncing around with an icy ring to it.

"Well then... start." said Dark as he flew into the background.

"START!" screamed Gold in the booth at the top of his lungs.

"**SHUT UP!" **shouted Berry even louder.

Everyone jumped into the air...!

"**Stop!" **

Everyone fell flat on their faces...

"What?!" asked Sonic angrily.

Crazy Hand hovered in front of the group and started dancing a little bit "Mushroomy Kingdom is _soooooo _old! I declare you race race on Rainbow Road!!!"

"Rainbow Road?! Do we-a-really have to?" Mario looked at Crazy Hand.

Crazy Hand looked down at Mario and with a sweet, nurturing, and loving voice he said "Yes" and then Mario randomly exploded.

"Big Bro!" shouted Boo Luigi becoming transparent and his hat spinning around while he shouted, then becoming visible again.

"Here we go!" shouted Crazy Hand.

_**Mushroom Kingdom**_

_**Rainbow Road**_

Sonic appeared on the track's starting line and started running down Rainbow Road despite everyone's calls to stop. "I'm tired of waiting!" he called back annoyed and then accidentally fell off the stage.

"Ooh! Too bad! Looks like Sonic's been disqualified due to a foul start..." Gold fake grimaced.

"He has?", asked Berry, putting on his glasses so he could see "No he hasn't the race hasn't even started yet, quit trying to get Sonic out of the race, Gold!"

"No" he replied simply.

A Lakitu carried Sonic back up on a fishing hook, then dropped him on the ground in front of everyone. Sonic still had his Hammer Suit on and he sat down in front of everyone, annoyed.

Pichu saw the whole thing and in a fit of *cough* plot device *cough* laughter, he went inside his blue shell and started spinning around madly "Pichu, Pu, Pu, Pu, Pu!" he laughed.

"Hey!"

"Watch it!"

"Pichu-chan!"

"_woo-doo-do-doo!"_

"Oh no!"

Soon everyone, or half of everyone was a small, half-sized midget, but Crazy Hand came to the rescue.

"Here everyone, have a mushroom!" he said tossing out multiple mushrooms.

"Wait a minute Crazy Hand! They can't-a-have their first mushrooms yet!" shouted Boo Luigi, but the mushrooms had already been absorbed by the Smashers and Smash Apprentices alike. Luigi was horror-struck.

"Why is Luigi so scared?" asked Berry up in the booth.

Ala-Gold just chuckled and leaned against the wall with his elbow, grinning "Ah, young Berry, don't you remember what happened the time _we _had our first mushrooms?"

"No..."

Gold looked at the ceiling, pondering while his propeller twirled a little "Oh yeah, you got a double dosage so I guess I wouldn't have remembered either!" he laughed "Ahahahaha!"

"What's happening down there?" asked Bucken-Berry, worried.

"Oopsies..." smiled Crazy Hand in his head, pointing at himself.

"Oh... no..." Luigi wished his brother hadn't been attacked by Crazy Hand so he would have someone to help him.

Suddenly, everyone's eyes swelled to the size of baseballs (With the exception of Falcon and Irani who didn't have their eyes visible at the moment... And also Sonic because his eyes were already bigger than baseballs and swelled to the size of basketballs) and started flashing multiple colors. They all smiled and suddenly music started to play.

_Play Music: New Super Mario Bros. Wii - Starman Theme (Invincibility)_

"**Whoa! Holy Cow, guys! Let's get this show on the road!" **shouted Sonic.

"**I'm goin' with Blue Guy!" **shouted Falcon.

"**Piiichuuuuuuuuuuuuu..." **shouted Pichu.

"_**riiiiiiiiiiii!" **_shouted Riolu.

"**Weeeee!" **Zee propelled.

"**For Hyrule!" **yelled Toon Zelda.

"Waaaait!" Luigi shouted.

Everyone bounced up and down all along Rainbow Road. Constantly falling off and getting hurt. Lakitu was buzzing all over the course to prevent players from burning up in Earth's atmosphere.

"Hold it guys! I can only go so fast!" he pleaded.

"**Weehee!" **they all screamed in unison.

_Back with the Toad bros...._

"OH! This is so exciting!!!!" jitterbugged Ala-Gold, hovering in mid-air and fluttering his feet.

Bucken-Berry started to slowly back away "Just calm... down, Gold... You took your medicine today, right?"

**_SUDDEN TURN! _**Gold looked at Berry and his teeth suddenly grew into the shape of arrow heads, while one of his pupils grew and the other one shrank. He gave a big, crazy smile and shouted **"HELL NO! I'M ALA-GOLD!!!"** he screamed and jumped out the window.

Bucken-Berry ran over to the place he jumped out, he pushed his glasses up and gasped as Gold crashed into the ground and took off.

_Through Irani's perspective..._

Green Grass was everywhere! Even on the ceilings! Everyone looked so happy! People were everywhere, skipping and frolicking! The flowers and animals were all dancing, singing too- the same song _"Dah Dah Dah dah-dahda da-dadadah! Dah Dah Dah dah-dahda da-dadadah!"_

Suddenly, a giant yellow frog wearing high heels fell from the sky and started flying around, steadily falling back to the ground and jumping up into the air again! There was an awesome face spinning and bouncing around randomly! There was a muscular snowman shouting and punching some very happy looking, dancing trees! The flying yellow frog was stomped on by a flying pink turtle who had a small bean that was smiling on its head! A very fat pterodactyl was also flying around, carrying anything that randomly fell through the ground! In addition to all the other crazy things, there was also a bowl of soup shooting noodles, a flying volley ball that would turn invisible, a ball of dark fire, and a black and yellow desk lamp that flew around just above the ground!

_End Music_

Suddenly, Irani flipped over and landed on her back. "Ow!"

Everything looked blurry.She had a massive headache and felt her forehead. Steadily everything cleared and it.. looked like she was in space or something.

"Hey!"

A brownish-green blur appeared in her line of sight. "U K? Lollollolrofllmao?"

Things cleared some more and it looked like Link, but it was a brownish, stump thing with a long, green appendage on its head and it was talking weird.

"What's that?" she asked.

"R my |)0ggi, he g00d by"

Next to him attached by a leash was a large, hideous moon giving a scary smile, glaring eyes, and a long, ugly nose. It barked at her.

"_I have no idea what's going on, I must really be high on mushrooms or something"_ she thought.

"Well..." started Deku Link who was back in the living room with all the smashers/apprentices passed put on the floor. "She must have had it real bad. She doesn't recognize me! I mean, why wouldn't she recognize good ol' Young Link? I was speaking girl too! She didn't understand anything and she had no idea what Moony here was" he pointed at the very same Moon from Majora's Mask as Irani fell asleep.

"Bark! Bark!"

"Or maybe I really don't know how to speak girl that good because I _think _that maybe, just maybe girls speak the same language as guys, but you can never tell since I always have to get some girl to decode all the text messages I'm sent."

"Well, at least everyone here is alright. Oh, and Link your apprentice got here by the way" said Master Hand to Deku Link.

"Let's go, Moony!" cheerfully exclaimed Deku Link and the scary looking moon followed him out the door.

The wii sitting by the TV lit up and the screen flickered to life.

_**~INCOMING TRANSMISSION~ **_

Master Hand stirred a little and the screen changed to a video of Quizy.

"Quizy?"

He looked really tired and worn out, he even had a beard growing and his eyes were half closed. "Yo, Masta. I'm-a-gonna need a break if you know what I'm sayin', bro. I got business to attend to."

"Yeah dog, I get ya."

"'K thanks bye! Also, Irani will be in charge of the Apprentice mansion because she's apparently, like, a genius or something and I need you to send Luigi over to the current Apprentice Mansion, Bai!"

_**~END TRANSMISSION~**_

"Well-"

_**~INCOMING TRANSMISSION... AGAIN~**_

Suddenly the screen turned on and Nick appeared, holding Cheerio to his chest and comforting him. He started nervously looking behind his shoulder where various explosions and banging noises could be heard.

"MASTER HAND! I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH TIME I HAVE LEFT, BUT PLEASE SAVE ME! SAMUS IS A PSYCHO B-"

A burning pot came hurtling towards Nick's head and he ducked really quickly.

"**Where are you, you little son of a-?!"** shouted Samus in the background.

"What did you do?" asked Master Hand, worried.

"I-I-I-I- I accidentally-!"

"**AAAAAAAARGH!"**

"NO SAMUS!"

_**~TRANSMISSION INTERRUPTED~**_

And then, the screen went blank...

"Congratulations Irani. You are now officially in charge of all the Smash Apprentices."

Irani went red at her promotion, startled at being called out and shyly replied "Oh...um...thanks, Falco will be glad to hear his...um...apprentice is, uh, doing so good already..." She smiled weakly.

"Could you please tell me _why_ was that boy screaming?" asked a young girl that no one had noticed until now.

* * *

**NEWCOMER:**

**LILLIAN**

* * *

Ah, yes... Lill, perhaps the least immature girl here. Peach doesn't count! She gets real moody! Anyways, the reason why Lill is so mature is, well, she is extremely motherly. In fact, that's the only word I can think of for her entire personality. She is very protective of someone younger than her, but unlike most mature people, she has a loving fondness for swords. She knows about them, but not really how to use them. She has a small sense of fashion, dressing herself in a pink T-Shirt topped off by a jean jacket, jeans, and boots. She looks like a female version of the younger links with the exception of having black hair and small ears. She is also a very cleanly person at times and doesn't really like improbable things. Also dislikes the evil smashers.

Crazy Hand broke in through the window, then left again. Broke in through another window and then left for the second time.

"..."

"Well, it looks like he's not going to-"  
Crazy Hand broke in through the third window and ate all the pieces of glass on the floor. "Hi there" he said giving a thumbs up with a little blood on it.

"..."

"Are-"

"Oh, yes, he probably peeked on the extremely-large-busted-woman-with-a-very-short-temper who was piloting the ship while she was taking a shower or something." interrupted the partially insane hand.

"And what about these people laying on the floor?" she inquired.

"Oh, yeah, I got them all high on mushrooms on a dangerously flimsy and thin flashing colored race track suspended in space just above the earth's atmosphere." he replied.

"Really?"

"I sure did"

She scowled and looked across the room. She saw Irani who was looking the other way nervously at the ground, but turned her attention to the other passed out smashers. Then she saw Berry taking a nap on the couch. Gold then appeared with sixteen tranquilizer darts stuck in his body and an extra two in his face. His eyes were struggling to stay open and his mouth was frothing a little. Gold rolled him over and, after looting through his pockets, stole his wallet. Then, he passed out, falling on his face.

Lill laughed silently, watching them act like children.

"Well...***chomp***... I couldn't find my apprentice...***chomp*** however, I did find this jar of chocolate jelly beans...***chomp***" Young Link walked in talking with his mouth full, holding his Deku Mask in one hand and a jar of chocolate jelly beans in the other with Moony's leash around his wrist. "Oh, and Moony left you some Moon Rocks in your office, Master Hand."

"Hi!" he greeted, noticing Lill. "Who are you anyway?"

"Link, this is your apprentice..." confirmed Master Hand.

"Hi" said Link.

Lill came over and took the jellybeans away.

"What?!"

"These aren't good for your ***chomp*** digestive system" she said simply, also eating the jellybeans.

"Those are my jellybeans!" he shouted back.

"Actually they're mine!!" shouted Crazy Hand jumping in between them and stealing the jellybeans, then teleporting away.

"...Gee, it sure is boring around here..." sighed Young Link.

"That's because we have to 'sit around here doing nothing for about 10 chapters' as Quizy put it"

"WHAT?! THAT'S REDICULOUS! WE CAN'T SIT AROUND HERE AND DO NOTHING FOR THAT LONG!!!"

"_Heh heh, not if I have anything to say about it." _muttered a nearby feathery plant in a rather expensive vase.

* * *

**Ask Quizy:**

"Hey folks, today, I'll tell you about my inspiration for writing this. Well, it all started while I was browsing deviant art. I somehow managed to stumble upon a humanized form of Pikachu, a hot teenage girl Pikachu... Stupefied, I closed my browser in the fear someone would see me staring at the picture. That night, I searched for the image again, and found it. I eventually found it that this particular thing was called 'gijinka', I searched the crap out of the word and found it was also called moe anthropomorphism, which I also searched the crap out of. I was addicted to the stuff for a grand total of two and a half days. Stunned by the pictures, I began to imagine my own, thinking up non-human characters that could be humanized. I eventually came to Smash characters like Master Hand, Sandbag, Kirby, Falco, and Donkey Kong... and then I imagined the same thing on the already human characters. I soon had the idea of the entire Smash crew standing next to a younger, and more attractive human counter part. Thus, How to SMASH was born!"

**I don't know why, but I just felt the need to post this on my birthday, but ended up missing it by a day. Yeah, my birthday was yesterday (12/26). I turned 15 yesterday! YES! TAKE THAT OLD PEOPLE, I'M STILL YOUNG! But on a different note, I got various tips. One was that I not reveal so much information immediately, another that I could try introducing two people per chapter instead of one, and another that I write more about the Smashers as this _is _a fan fiction. So I followed all of those tips. SAWNIKS MA GAME SPEEDES MA NAME! I discovered that I like making Sonic look bad... tehe. Couldn't contact Lill's creator PLOT DETECTED! CONTEST DETECTED! Anyways, since this is my first ever public writing, I welcome you to inform me of anything bland you may see. Also, I think I'll do a lot of interactive stuff here. Here's the first one: Berry's red yoshi hasn't appeared yet, that's because I haven't come up with a name for it. So in your review, simply submit a good red yoshi name. **


	5. XMAS SPECIAL

**Late Merry Christmas, a small little chapter I put together on short notice in order to celebrate all the things we take for granted.**

* * *

"Merry Christmas!!!" Crazy Hand's voice echoed throughout the mansion walls.

On Christmas day... we gather together in celebration to feel each others' kindness. On this day... when the end of another year is almost upon us, we are grateful for the lessons we learned and the kindness we earned...

_Remember the time... when Master Hand was grateful for his brother for the first time... or the time when Lucas lost both his hard-headed brother and his loving and adoring mother in less than a week. Do you remember the time... when Luigi overcame his fears and finally saved his brother from the evil King Boo by traveling through a mansion full of ghosts?The time when Nana and Popo were trapped in a blizzard without food or comforts... or the time when Zelda gave her life in a sacrifice to the half-dead Midna... and the time when Samus, Nick, and Cheeri were left injured after an attack by independent space pirates on Christmas day._

_Samus and Nick have just ran into a bunch of independent space pirates. Samus got out with a little scratches. She would normally come out unscathed, but due to having to protect the two she didn't do so well, but Nick received a multitude of scratches and one gash while Cheerio got a really deep cut in his arm and stomach._

Samus, in her zero suit, held the green pikmin on an examination table, checking for any fatal infections that one could catch inside a bounty hunter's space ship. Cheerio forced his eyes to stay open, waiting for Nick, but Nick was being depressed in the other room.

"Cheeri..." whispered Samus under her breath as she had heard that boy call this green pikmin.

"Mip...mip..." weakly cried Cheerio which meant _"I need to see me mastar. Eez veery eemportant zat 'e ees alvight" _in his thoughts.

Samus sighed and sprayed disinfectant on the wounds and Cheerio screamed out _"MEESTER NEEK, IT HEURTS!", _in his mind **"MIP!".**

On reaction to Cheerio's outburst, Meester Neek himself ran into the room, dashing next to Samus and looking over his green pikmin that he got on his arrival to the Smash Mansion. He had a worried expression on his face. _"Mastar..." _he thought and then finally passed out because he finally saw Nick. "He calls me master too much..." he murmured half to Samus, half to himself and stood there for a few minutes. His face slowly turned to a faint red as he realized he was standing next to Samus, but Samus seemed oblivious. He turned to her and "H-hi, Sam-mus"escaped from his mouth.

"...There's no need to be nervous around me anymore, Nick. I got over your previous blunder. I'm not mad at you anymore so just chill", she assured.

Nick got embarrassed and looked the other way for a second. Then, he dug around in his pocket for a second. "Here. Merry Christmas" he handed her a rock, chiseled into the shape of a stem with a leaf on top. "It's from me and Cheeri" he looked thoughtfully and Cheerio who was lying on the table. Then, he put a pressure point on his mind and calmed his self being and the auras came to him. He relied on his limited aura seeing powers whenever he felt like he was going to die of embarrassment which really didn't happen often.

Samus's aura relaxed into a mellow light blue green color. Then, it turned slightly pink. _"...Green, Blue, Pink... means she feels calm, a little sad or sorry, and slightly... affectionate" _thought Nick, realizing smugly that he had won Samus's approval, but he had no idea what she was thinking in her head.

There was an awkward silence and Samus suddenly looked at him. "I've been alone awhile you know? Everyone at the Mansion seems so nice, but there aren't many people who are so grateful for life as you. Sorry I didn't get you a gift. Maybe I'll come up with something else" she smiled.

"Oh... uh..., where are you going with this?" asked Nick, worried he was going to pass out again.

Samus just laughed "No! Not like that! You're too young! Maybe if I was a born a little later though! Ha!" and Nick laughed too and Samus was like a mother for Nick from then on.

* * *

**Yea! Nick and Samus are friends now! FRIENDS. I wish Samus was in her teens otherwise, I'd totally write a love story about them. From now on, Samus will be somewhat of a protective mother figure for Nick, but still be a friend at the same time. RAVENOUS SPACE BUNNIES!!!! ~Pikmin 2 Reference. No, they got attack by a certain duo I'll introduce soon. :D "MEERY KRIISMAS!!" ~Cheeri**


	6. Sarah

**Weren't expecting this were you? P.S. Sorry for taking so long to update, I think I've got it fixed now.**

* * *

**PART 4: FIEEEEELD TRIIIIIIIP!!!!**

"_Omelets! Omelets! How I love the omelets! _

_Omelets! Omelets! My tummy's hungry for you, let's...!_

_Eat you every morniiing and sometimes even night! _

_Whenever My mommy'd place youuu in my line of sight!_

_We'd eat you after raaciing and playing all day!_

_When I bite into you, I shout 'Hip, Hip, Hooray!'_

_Omelets! Omelets! I sing my special song! _

_Omelets! Omelets! And eat you all year long!_

_Yeah! Yeah! OMELETS! OMELEEETS!! __**OMELEEEEEEEEEEEETSS!!!**__ OH YEAH!"_

"**Shut up, Lucas!" **shouted Nana. Lucas turned around embarrassed from his place on the stool in front of the stove as he heard Nana's shout from the other side of the mansion. There was a silence followed by a bonking noise and a shout from Popo. "Ow! Er... Yeah, be quiet or something or.............I'll feet you in hopscicle, wait what? Wait! I mean, I'll freeze you into a pop- **I'll freeze you into a popfrickle! Yeah!" **

Lucas, red-faced, turned back to the stove and lifted the frying pan and tipped the omelet inside of it onto the plate on the counter. "Hi, Lucas" greeted Irani.

"Oh! Irani, isn't it? You want some omelets too? I was making some"

"Ah..., no thanks. I had some cereal earlier"

"Oh"

Things had been pretty boring around the Smash Mansion recently. No apprentices had arrived since The Spectacular Power Up Race on rainbow road. This had allowed the smashers to get to know the apprentices better and so far, they had been getting along well. In the short time, Dark had gotten into his match with Nola, but out of the blue, Nola busted out a chainsaw and chased the Dark Star Warrior off the stage. The apprentice mansion had also been finished and smash training was set to start as soon as four more apprentices arrived. Nick and Samus had also just arrived a few minutes ago. Everyone was still waking up from last night's sleep.

Popo walked out of his room, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and dragging his hammer behind him. "Crazy psycho woman telling me to threaten my best friend, who does she think she is..." he mumbled.

He felt himself bump into someone and looked up to see the infamous and mysterious Mr. L, in 3-D form. Mr. L was holding Pichu in his arms and stroking him. Pichu seemed to be purring and was smiling with his eyes closed. Mr. L also had his eyes closed and was smiling. Then he opened his eyes and frowned. Hey, Mr. Tiny blue eskimo who dates his own sister, what's with the chunky kid playing video games in the guest room. I was told my apprentice was there, but he's the only one there. Are they suggesting that _he _is my apprentice? That child?" he sneered.

"I believe he stated that he was husky, not chunky" replied Popo, too tired to question what Mr. L was doing at the mansion.

Mr. L smirked "You honestly believe that?"

"Who the heck are you anyway?"

"Ah... hehehe, Where are my manners..." he said chuckling, abusing his self-charm and giving a strong image of a combination of Mewtwo, Meta Knight, Shadow, Sonic, Captain Falcon, Falco, Wolf, Midna, almost every single Final Fantasy Character, and Luigi.

"I am the best former minion of Count Bleck, I am The Green Thunder.... I am...." he hesitated dramatically, then span around rapidly then formed an** L **with his arms and stood on one leg.

"**MR... L!!!"**

Green rays of light radiated from Mr. L's body. "Now, I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got work to do! L-ater" he said and put an amazing amount of force in his feet and jumped so hard he went through the roof.

Trey was in the guest room _still _playing New Super Mario Bros Wii.

"Okay, this is ridiculous! How can you still go around talking about that stupid game!" interrupted Popo, using a technique known as "The Author's Lousy Excuse".

You see, when the author still wants to write about something, even though they realize no one in the story would want to dwell on the subject, they either write about it anyway and hope for the best or have one if the story's characters complain about something they're not supposed to know about, which is exactly what Quizy has done, using Popo as the complainer in the hopes that the audience will laugh at the writer's incompetence, assuming that the entire thing was a carefully and well thought out joke which we _all _know isn't true... right?"

Trey turned to Popo "Yes, but I was just getting tips from these guys I found in the item storage room!" He moved aside, revealing a spot on the couch he was playing on.

There, sat every single power up from New Super Mario Bros Wii.

"Hi there, my name's Chill" greeted an Ice Flower.

"My name is Copter" buzzed a Propeller Mushroom.

"Fiya, yes, my name, it is" jigged a Fire Flower.

"Miniscule's my name" squeaked a Mini Mushroom.

"I like Toothpaste" rambled a Penguin Suit.

"His name's Slick and my name's Star" chimed a Super Star.

"My name's Giga" grunted a Mushroom.

"AND MY NAME'S ONE UP!!!" shouted a 1-Up Mushroom.

"Do 1-Up Mushrooms count as power ups?" asked Popo.

"Yes" replied One up.

_**Master Hand's Office**_

"What's the problem, Master? Where are all my new friends?" asked Crazy Hand, sad.

"Sorry, Crazy, Quizy sent over Mr. L to open up dimensional holes, but lately he's been refusing to get off his lazy butt and create them even though traveling between a two dimensional world and a three dimensional world has made this task quite easy for him." replied Master Hand. _(Dimension Word Count: 3)_

"Can't Mr. Game and Watch open up dimensional holes? And how does Claus get back to the mansion if he can't open up dimensional holes?" _(Dimension Word Count: 5)_

"Yes, Mr. Game and Watch can open up dimensional holes, but he has no sense of direction when traveling to a new dimension. Claus has a dimension to dimension home finder dimensional chip in the mechanical half of his brain which has strange dimensional properties that allows him to transport back here as long as he fires a small amount of dimensional PSI energy into a dimensional gate where there has once been dimensional activity. The only dimensional rift we could find in the 'real' dimension is that large door that Nick used to send a dimensional link that connected all the dimensions." _(Dimension Word Count: 18)_

"Why didn't we just get Dimentio, I'm sure he'd be more willing to help _(Does that count as a Dimension word? 19?)_

"Dunno, but it looks like there's only one solution to this dimensional crisis!" shouted Master Hand pointing in the air. _(Dimension Word Count: 20)_

_**Smash Mansion Front Yard**_

"And that is why you are not getting a space ship until you're 28." cheered Samus, brushing various debris off her zero suit. Nick stumbled out of Samus's space ship, stumbling around. Apparently, he had been driving the ship.

"Wow, I knocked that tree over there down.... and that mailbox... and that statue... and the moon... and Sonic..."

"And you smashed a hole in the Smash Mansion" sighed Master Hand, teleporting onto the scene.

"No way" replied Nick coolly.

"Yea way, would you care for a spot of tea as I tell you the amazing amount of paper work I have to fill out in order to get that fixed.

"Yes, and please go get me some of that mushroom sugar. That stuff is tasty."

"I'll be right back" floated off Master Hand.

"Quick, let's get the heck out of here while he's gone!" he pushed a confused Samus into the Smash Mansion.

_**Later in Smash Mansion's Meeting Room**_

"Howdy, everyone! How is everyone doing this fine morning?" chimed Crazy Hand into the microphone he was floating in front of.

"Don't even try to steal my microphone, Crazy" Master Hand shoved Crazy Hand out of sight.

* * *

"Long time, no see!" greeted Nola to Nick who were both standing in a section of the meeting room that had been unofficially dubbed as The apprentice side.

"Hi there hot lady who I've never even really spoken to until this point who is unfortunately too old for me to hit on, how's it going?"

"Not you! I was talking to my old credit card I found wedged inside my shoe just now!"

"Oh..." sighed Nick.

"Just kidding, hiya kid!"

"Hi!" he greeted back.

* * *

"So...uh... how's it going?" started Trey, talking to Jack.

"Is your horse trying to eat that small grass imp thing?" asked Jack raising his eyebrows.

"Ahhhh! Stop it Klonda! I'm sorry I didn't have time to feed you!"

Klonda was trying to get a good nip at Cheerio's top bud.

"_Deeeyah! Stop eet pleeze!" _screamed Cheerio in his plant language even though the only people who understood him were Nick and Evan.

Evan swooped in propped Cheerio on his back.

"_Tank you Meester Leefion sir!" _

"_What's with the pikmin?" _asked Shyan.

Evan got an evil gleam in his eye and said "I'm a vegetarian, remember?" he grinned evilly.

* * *

"So what's it like in Dream Land" Zee asked Dark.

"Terrible, everything is so freakin' happy. Our King, DeDeDe, is a tyrant. My older brother is a jerk. There is very little technology there, limiting what I can do in my spare time, and I can't beat that stupid Waddle Doo in a staring contest." complained Dark.

"Oh.... I see. Well, in that case do you have any friends there?" chirped Zee expectantly.

"Uh... I can't remember..." responded Dark, scratching the back oh his head.

"Aw... I'm sorry... you don't have any friends"

"Yes I do!"

* * *

"Hi..." greeted Lill to Irani who was sitting a considerable distance away.

Irani politely ignored her.

"Hmph, What's your name little guy?" Lill asked plucking Cheerio off Evan's back.

"Hey! I was gonna eat that-err... I mean-"

"_Oh, please, you'll get your nasty vegetables for lunch" _spoke Shyan.

"But it looks so... green and delicious"

"_How the heck does a plant grow arms and legs?" _pondered Irani.

* * *

"Everyone, please shut it as I bless you with my beautiful speech about things I don't particularly care about" spoke Mr. L with his eyes closed again and placing his hand on his stuck out chest as he grabbed the microphone with his free hand.

Everyone quieted down a bit.

"I don't really feel like running around all day, fetching people that aren't going to be my apprentice and have no particular skills. So in order to solve this problem, I will simply open up the dimensional holes and _you all _can do the work along with that little cyborg child."

Zelda stood up, raising his hand "Well, _sir_, how do you expect us to navigate through this 'real' world when none of us know what's over there? We'd look like a bunch of idiots"

Mr. L glared at Zelda "Snake's from there"

"Snake's on a reconnaissance mission on The Summit, we have theory to believe that the fish in there have been mutated by a strange and ancient evil orange soda producing society known as-" started Nana.

"Alright, alright, alright.... send some of the little apprentices then, I'm sure some of them know their way."

"You serious?" questioned Bowser.

"I know my way around the real world perfectly well" stated Nola.

"I'm not so much of a traveler" sighed Nick.

"I'm sure I could help out in some way" smiled Lill.

"I guess I could help out some..." murmured Jack.

"You're coming?" asked Nola.

"Uh... yeah"

"See everyone? Our little problem is.... wait, why am I here again?"

"Whose idea was it to bring in this fool in the first place?" breathed Meta Knight, projecting his voice across the room.

There was an awkward silence as Mr. L glared at Meta Knight, then he smirked. "Fine, I can see you are no longer entertained by my presence." He then put on a serious expression "L-ater" he waved and jumped through the roof again.

"**Great! More paperwork!!!"** shouted Master Hand at the new hole in the ceiling.

"YARGH!!" shouted Crazy Hand sending an ice blast that shattered all the windows in the room.

"**WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!?!" **cried Master Hand to the sky.

And then he teleported to his office to get started on the paperwork...

"Alright Kiddywinks, time to get some beddy bie time, tomorrow, you'll be setting out in order to get THREE, count 'em, THREE... apprentices..." smiled Crazy Hand.

"But-" started a few apprentices.

"**If so Mr. L decrees it, so it shall be!" **he bellowed.

"But it's 9 o' clock in the morning!!" whined Lill.

***Poof***

All of the real world Smash Apprentices were transported into the guest room and shot with sleeping darts.

"Ugh..." they all passed out where they stood.

_**THE NEXT MORNING!!!~**_

There was a handful of commotion going on in the front yard of Smash Mansion. Jack, Irani, Lill, Nick, Cheerio, and Nola were all stationed in various places. The Red Alloy, also known as Ray, was also there because Master Hand was too busy doing paperwork in his office.

Ray acted as the leaders of the alloys and he was also in charge things whenever Master Hand was too busy and Crazy Hand couldn't be trusted with the task at hand.

"We ready to go yet, Ray?" asked Nick, wearing goggles that shielded his eyes while his mouth was hanging open slightly from last night's sleep overdose and also because he just had a tendency to slacken his jaw.

"Yes, I just to run a few parameter checks" he confirmed.

He walked over to a shrub next to the entrance and kicked it.

Crazy Hand popped out shouting, "OH NOES! I ARE HAS BEEN DISCOVEREDZORZ!!! ONE ONE ONE!!!!"

"Alloys, secure Co-Master, Crazy Hand!!"

The Blue Alloy, known as Azel, the Green Alloy, known as Grow, and Palk jumped out from behind various objects.

They all jumped in top of him, while he was writhing like a fish out of water and shouting incompetent gibberish. Every once and a while, something understandable could be heard like "LET ME GO!" and "I WANNA GO TOOOOO!!!"

"Go! Go Now!" shouted Ray who was busy trying to subdue Crazy Hand.

Mr. L, who had been taking a nice nap nearby under a palm tree nearby, decided that it would be more productive to actually do what he was paid to do rather than try to sleep in the loud wreck of noise.

"'Kay kids, you all ready to go?"

"_Look! The Alloys have focused their attention on Crazy Hand!"_

"Uh, yeah! We've been here for about an hour waiting you to wake up!" shouted Nola.

"Well you could have just waked me up..." whined Mr. L.

"We tried, but while you were sleepin', you started shouting to murder us with a chainsaw and when we kept goin', you pulled out an actual gun and shot a bullet in the sky..." muttered Jack to Mr. L.

A Tumbleweed flew by on a breeze as everyone was silent.

"_Mr. L is so silly..."_

"Oh would you look at the time, here's two airplanes, form teams of two, and I've got better things to do now, so bye" and Mr. L walked off without another word.

"So, I guess I'll ride with..." started Lill.

"**I call Irani!!!" **shouted Nick who grabbed Irani's arm and started rubbing on her, then grinned at her.

Irani yanked her arm away, "No! I don't want to ride with you!" Then, she looked at Lill and Nola "May I ride with one of you instead?"

"_Uh oh... I think they're getting ready to take off..."_

Nola looked at Lill and Lill said "Why don't you ride with him? You're the smartest one here, just say something smart and he'll have no idea what to do"

Irani sighed and "Nick, If we had a right triangle and the tip had an angle of depression of 80 degrees, while the hypotenuse was 24 feet long, and then we wanted the adjacent side, then later using cosine of the top angle multiplied the hypotenuse, what would we have?"

"Wait... what?" everyone said, tilting their head to one side.

"Ahhh, High School Geometry is too hard..." groaned Nola, grabbing her head

"What?! You've got to be kidding me! You're all a bunch of morons"

"Hey, that wasn't very nice..." muttered Nola.

"**JUST GO ALREADY!" **shouted all the Alloys and Crazy Hand, surprisingly.

"Alright! Alright!" shouted Jack, hopping in a plane with Lill and Nola, as Nick, Cheerio, and Irani hopped in the other one.

_Ack! Should I go or should you go?_

"Why are we in planes, anyway? Does anyone here know how to fly?" asked Lill.

"Why couldn't we just rent a car?" asked Nola.

"I drove Samus's spaceship once!" chimed Nick.

"I think I'll try driving since I'm the driver's apprentice" bragged Jack.

"Wait! Doesn't that mean I should be the one flying? I'm the apprentice of a pilot!" questioned Irani.

"_Meester Neek undoutably cannot dirve..." _mipped Cheerio.

"What did he say?" asked Irani.

"He said I'm the greatest driver ever!"

_You should go! You're smaller!_

"HOLY MOTHER, IS THAT A SPIDER?!?!" eek'd Nola, pointing and shouting at Cheerio.

"No, silly, it's a- wait! Wait, Nola!" shouted Nick after Nola forced the plane off Smash Mansion and into the real world.

_Dammit! Go! Go, now before the other one drives away._

"Gimme that steering wheel!" said Irani, who then proceeded to chase after them.

Dark, Zee, Evan, Shyan, and Trey gathered at the entrance of Smash Mansion.

"I'll go get the scuba gear and Crazy Hand's pet Billy goat" sighed Trey.

"Did we just get cut out of the next two chapters?" asked Dark.

"I believe we did...", sighed Evan.

Then, Peach appeared "Hey, it's not like you haven't appeared for the first five chapters of your own story, I haven't even gotten an apprentice yet", she told the group sadly.

Zee put her hand on Peach's shoulder "I'm sorry", she said depressingly.

_**FOGET DIS DEPWESSIN' STUFF, LET'S GO TO DA REAL WORLD**_

"I still don't get why we're in airplanes..." sighed Lill to Jack, who was trying to keep Nola from jabbering on about the "spider".

"Can you hand me the list of people we're supposed to get, Lill?" asked Jack who was flying the plane.

_Sarah Moon_

_Markus Smith I_

_Kira Roberts_

"Can you hand me the list of people we're supposed to get, sweetie?" asked Nick on the other plane.

Irani was just plain fed up with Nick's flirt attempts by this time, "If you call me sweetie one more time, I am going to smack you in the face again, and this time, it will hurt"

"Ouch..." muttered Nick.

_**SPACE~TIME FAST-FORWARD**_

**"OH NOOOOOOOOOO****!!!" **screamed Nick, as he fell off the airplane.

"_MEESTER NEEEEEEEK!!!" _Cheerio went into hysterics and started climbing on Irani's head.

"Maybe that was not the best of ideas..." muttered Irani.

"_YOU PUSHED HIM OUT OF THE FREAKIN' PLANE?!"_ screamed Lill's voice out of the radio, after they had figured out how to establish radio contact.

"He was trying to kiss my arm though! It was so gross! I never want something like that to happen again!" the mere thought made Irani shudder.

"_What do we do now?" _asked Nola, who had calmed down now.

"I guess we should just get the other apprentices and maybe we'll look for him later if we feel like it" guessed Irani.

"_That sounds good" _agreed everyone.

"_**NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! **We must go and search eemediately for mee masteer! So 'elp me or I vill destroy you all like vorms!!!" _shouted Cheerio desperate to save Nick, but unfortunately no one understood the Pikmin language and they all ignored him.

"_Oh no, no, no....Not him, why'd he have to fall out? Why did she have to push him out? Oh what should I do? I'm supposed to be here for that one girl... I know, OH, The King definitely won't like me abandoning the mission for someone like him, but OH NO! I have to save him!" _a figure jumped out of the plane. It couldn't be seen because of glare of sunlight blocked it.

_**MEANWHILE WITH NICK**_

"**-OOOOOOOOO!!!" **shouted Nick, crashing into a dark and old building, falling through several worn out floors and eventually landing right on top of shadowy figure.

There was a scrabble and eventually both of them managed to stand up again and then the figure spoke, "Ah, how ironic that you would find out like this. I really wish I could have told you myself"

Nick had fallen right on top of Captain Olimar.

"Captain! So sorry! I- I- I- was pushed and-"

Nick paused suddenly. He looked around and saw evil glares coming from various shadows lurking throughout the room.

"Oh dear..."

_**Clunk!**_

He was tossed into a cage, but there was someone else there too.

It was a girl, she was sleeping on her belly.

* * *

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NEW SMASH APPRENTICE**

**SARAH MOON**

* * *

Sarah is a little shy. She loves books, wolves, and shiny things. More than anything, she's just an animal girl, she's very lazy with an intense curiosity. She's not all that violent, but doesn't hesitate to punch your lights out. She's about 14 years old, 5'4", kinda thin, and a bit muscular. She also has really light skin, green eyes, black stud earrings, a necklace of a wolf head, and black hair with purple bangs tied in a ponytail. She always wears a black and pink striped hoodie over it. She also has on black jeans, fingerless gloves, and purple vans. Her introductory quote is "The name's Sarah, but i don't care what you call me."

"Well this sucks, my childhood heroes are evil..." Nick sat in a cage staring at Olimar and Claus.

"Sorry, Nick, I wanted to be good again, but... My master returned... I had no choice..." Claus was ashamed standing behind Olimar, thinking about his master, Porky.

"I don't get it, Captain... why would you want to become evil? You have a family to care about! You're a high ranking captain in one the greatest space agencies and you discovered peace in the pikmin land! Why would you want to become evil?"

"Hold on, let me set the mood first..." Olimar went over to a window and opened it, causing a great gush of light to flood through.

Sarah woke up suddenly and jumped to her feet "You! Olimar, why you little! Come over here and let me out!" she shouted, reaching out at Olimar. "Oh hi", she greeted noticing Nick. Then she glared at Olimar some more.

"Take a look at where you are!" shouted Olimar.

Both of them gasped. They were in a very dark and decrepit place. The red glares that were staring at the two of them earlier suddenly flinched at the new light and Olimar dimmed it a little bit so they wouldn't get too angry. They seemed grateful and settled down.

Nick and Sarah were shocked at the amazing amount of villains in the room.

The order in which they saw them was this:

Olimar, Ganondorf, Bowser, Wolf, Wario, Petey Piranha, Mr. L, Porky, Dark Link and Dark Toon Link to everyone's surprise, a dark demon looking Pit, Mewtwo, Rayquaza, Meta Ridley, King DeDeDe, Mr. Game and Watch, and a smaller version of Duon.

"WAA!!!" screamed Nick and Sarah.

"Now do you see what kind of a situation you're in?!" Olimar shouted, getting angrier by the second. Then he sighed, "Ah, I do apologize, I was just remembering...", he paused, shaking quietly and staring into the distance, "That _awful _day...", then things slowly got tense.

Nick horrified, cringed at the sight of his master enraged.

Sarah pressed Olimar on, having no connection to the Astro-Delivery Man.

"Why are you working with these villains, you little midget!?" Sarah showed her teeth.

Olimar glared at her and smacked her. "**Insolent child!** You know nothing!"

"**Hey!"** shouted Nick. He jumped up and stood next to her.

"Try that again, stupid you mailman!" Sarah was really ticked, something very odd for such a calm and peace-loving person as her.

Olimar was shaking with anger, the candle light's slight darkness shrouded his face, giving him an ominous tone. The mood in the room suddenly went silent.

"You have no idea what I've been through the last two months. I've lost my soul to the dark gods and now I'm digging it up again. You've _never _experienced something like this, and perhaps you never will. You may not deserve what I'm about to do to you, but... never mind. There goes my emotions acting up again. Please excuse me...", he began to hunch over and his hand slowly constricted into fists.

"You're insane!!" shouted Sarah.

"Olimar, how could you do something like this?" Nick cried.

"_I guess I might as well tell you how I got where I am now...I apologize for my rudeness, but I believe I could do a lot worse things to you. The story... It all started a little bit after my little apprentice left to get his fancy suit... I figured since it would be the last time in awhile before I got free time, I would take a trip up to see my loving... family... You wouldn't believe how happy they were to see me... Their joyful faces... their caring kisses... their soothing laughter... I almost cried when I saw them for the first time in half a year... I've been so busy as second in command at Hocotate Freight you know? It makes me happy being there with my long time friends, Louie and Schao. We're the best of friends...or rather... we were the best of friends. I don't talk to them anymore, not after the accident. My family and I decided to take a little vacation out in space. While we were out there, we saw Samus's ship and I figured it would be a good idea to let the family meet her. She is one of my good friends after all, but then... suddenly Space Pirates attacked her ship, and mine as well. I ordered my family down to a more secure area and took on the pirates myself. Not a great idea... A ferocious space dragon who I've come to know as Ridley destroyed the half of my ship where my family was hiding. I assume they instantly died. I survived however due to the suit I was wearing, then I somehow managed to drift back to Hocotate, stole a ship, and made my way back to Smash Mansion where I remained locked up in my room until recently." _not a tear escaped from Olimar as he said all of this.

"You really are insane! You're working with the very person you hate!", screamed Sarah.

"_I eventually confronted my family's murder. Revenge was on my mind as I grasped a knife in my hand. He laughed at me as I tried to stab his heart. I broke down into tears in front of him, I kept asking him why he would do such a thing, and then he told my of how he realized the joys of not having anyone care about him. I was too emotionally disturbed to get up from the floor, I just lay there for days asking for death. All he would ever do was laugh at me, then I eventually cracked. I plucked a lone white pikmin from the ground in front of me and we fought. I won easily, no longer attached to my emotions, I was now free. I held his neck and pulled the white pikmin up to his mouth. 'I could shove this down your vile, evil throat and you'd instantly die from the poison', I breathed. He scoffed at my abilities and I dropped him to the floor", _said Olimar as he finished his dreadful story.

Ridley laughed from his spot in the corner.

"Now, back to business", Olimar returned to his slightly less dark voice.

"Ganondorf, do you have the item?" Olimar held his hand out.

Ganondorf emerged from the shadows. "I'm sorry, sir, however I have managed to track down its location. Would you please allow me to fetch it?"

Olimar retracted his hand back to his side and breathed "Please do".

And Ganondorf teleported away, leaving Sarah and Nick horrified in their cage.

* * *

**I'm gonna try this a little diffetently**

**1. Lucas's Favorite food is omelets in case you didn't know**

**2. When Mr. L calls Popo Mr. Tiny blue eskimo who dates his own sister, it was supposed to be squished together, but there's something against gibberish on this site apparently, Popo is called this due to the infamous argument over whether Nana and Popo are siblings or lovers.**

**3. I have no idea why, but I felt like coming up with a name for every single NSMBW power-up, this will most likely be their only appearance.**

**4. Halfway through Crazy and Master's talk, I realized I had said dimension about 7 times and decided to squeeze all I could in there.**

**5. There are two people talking to each other unseen as the apprentices are getting ready to leave, only one of them actually goes.**

**6. I've seen a few evil Olimar's lately so I figured I'd add to the collection**

**7. Olimar's actually a space delivery man, sadly**

**8. Sorry for Olimar's incredible dribble, but I felt sorry for the guy I'll have to make it up to him somehow.**

**Well, that's it folks! It was kinda hard for me to write the serious part, but I think I'll go back to my goofy style of writing next time! **

**Next time, there won't be any OC's introduced, it'll be a quick short chapter about Ganon, titled "Skull Kid's Crappy Beating!" See you then!**


	7. Skull Kid's Crappy Beating

**Yeah that _was _quick, wasn't it?**

**P.S. Apapa155 and Evan would like it known: Evan does not actually eat things like Pikmin, Oddishes, Deku Scrubs, or any other Demi-Plant things.**

**_PLEASE READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTES AT THE END WHEN FINISHED_**

* * *

Today was an average day. I walked around my forest blowing my favorite song on my horn that my mother taught me. I loved my family song. I played it everyday! Even for strangers! I blew a magic note into my horn and my puppets assembled themselves next to me. We began dancing and I ran all around my forest, swinging my lantern as I went. I loved my forest.

Then, while I was dancing, I accidentally tripped in front of a special door hidden in the trees. My puppets suddenly disappeared as I lifted my head up.

Now, people say my smile is one of my most defining features. They say I'm always smiling, even when I slam my finger in the door. I hardly ever lose my smile, but when I looked at where I was at, my smile vanished. This was _the _door. This door, I was never even allowed to show to strangers. Normally I showed strangers all around my forest, even to the legendary Master Sword's door! This was a forbidden door, that had been made very clear.

Back a long time ago, before everyone left the forest, the older, more serious kids talked about "The Mask". I never got the big deal about it, but whenever someone brought it up, no one smiled for a few hours.

I guess this statement holds true, even for me as my so called "spray-painted-on-smile" melted off my face and revealed a dumbfounded grimace.

Everything was silent as I stood up and stared at the door. This was where "The Mask" was held... or as someone else had called it... "Majora's Mask".

"OUGH!!!" I shouted, I had no idea what was going on, but I knew I was being pinned against the wall by someone's hand. I shook my head and my eyes found their way to a Gerudo man who's description I recognized to be Ganondorf.

"Ganondorf". I coughed.

"Hey there, Moon Kid, where's my mask?" smiled Ganondorf.

My head replayed all the memories I had concerning a mask, "Oh yeah, that mask, Majora's? I think it was?" I asked.

Ganondorf was surprised by my cooperation "Oh... uh, yeah, that's the one..., could you...um, give it... to me... please?" he wasn't too sure what to do as he lowered me to the ground. I sat down. "Yep, it's right behind this door here, even the sound of my horn can't open it, you just try and- **ACK!**"

"**AAAOAAAA_AAAH_!!!!" **shouted Ganondorf releasing as he released a strange dark energy from his hand which I had to duck to avoid.

The door crumbled revealing a strange twilit forest chamber. Ganondorf immediately walked in while I followed curiously. He walked over to a stone trap door, lifted it up to reveal a dark sanctuary. I spied on him from the outside. He picked up a mask, chuckled, then at the snap of his fingers, the mask disappeared. He walked out and straight past me as if that were the end of that, but I blew a magic note into my horn that caused my puppets to block Ganondorf in.

I cackled and laughed "If you think that you can just waltz in here and make off with my property without a little game, then you surely got problems!"

"I don't think so"

"What?"

"**AAAOAAAA_AAAH_!!!!"**

Then, I blacked out, but y'know, I hated that mask anyway. I hope it wasn't dangerous or anything though.

* * *

**Not much to say except that Skull Kid doesn't really care for anything other than dancing and playing his horn, I wrote this chapter in pretty much just one day**

**WAAAAH!!! Almost forgot! Had a little chat with MahNati and it turns out we've both been noticing a certain... ****_trend _in the later reviews... **

**Look guys, let me summarize this story for you again. ~~ Young People from the Real/Other Random World come to Smash Mansion to ****_Train Under _Smashers, learning how to fight like Smashers, as well as learning valuable life lessons from them, kind of making the Smashers like second parents. The point of this was to send in ****ONE OC that followed these instructions, not lazed about the Mansion, having no personality changes, physical changes, or even fighting style changes. That was the whole inspiration for this story and it seems like you're only into this because I'm writing about something you, yourself, are too lazy to do. The recent anonymous reviews are WAY too similar and a little bit monotoned and predictable, so I will not accept any of the previous anonymous reviews with a few exceptions. Ugh, gotta go, My lil' step bro is snoring now and I can't concentrate that great.**

**Sorry for being a grouch, but please don't take advantage of stories that allow you to submit your own character into a story, it's kinda rude, you know.**


	8. Markus, Kira, and Nagasha

**I know I said I wouldn't take as long this time, but I actually have a good excuse this time. Anyway, here's some fresh meat for you!**

_

* * *

(Congratulations to Markus, Kira, and Nagasha for being the first apprentices with hair that isn't black)_

_**DUR-DUR-DUR-DUR-DURIIIIIIING!!!!!**_

The school bell rang and kids flooded out of a school. They were practically stampeding out of the place and a smash apprentice girl was crushed under their feet.

"Hey, watch it, ya punks!" she shouted on the ground.

* * *

**SMASH APPRENTICE**

**KIRA ROBERTS**

* * *

Kira is an eleven year old who's very loyal to her friends most of the time, but she is very selective when picking them. She's a bit of a tomboy, even though she wears a dress She is pretty handy with a sword, but fails at blocking attacks and long-ranged attacks. Kira has shoulder-length straight light brown hair, brown eyes and has lightly tanned skin. She's has medium height and is skinny, but not too skinny. Kira wears a red dress with a white long-sleeved shirt. Overall, Kira trusts every one, may give her friends a hug once in a while, goes with the flow most of the time, and she hates it if people make fun of her.

By the time she got up, all the kids were gone, leaving her to walk up to the sidewalk leading to her home, alone.

When she got halfway there, she fell over again, but this time she tripped on a ten year old boy that she recognized from her school. "Oh not agaaaaain!" she fell. She looked up at him and jumped back a little bit. He was staring wide-eyed into space, silently.

* * *

**SMASH APPRENTICE**

**MARKUS "MARK" SMITH III**

* * *

Mark here is an eccentric ten year old, pretty forgetful, slightly mischievous, and mutters things to himself whenever he gets mad. He never misses an opportunity to fight, even though he's actually quite smart and tends to speak with big words. He enjoys spending time meditating and staring off into space, and he hardly ever gets angry. At ten years old, he stands 5 ft tall with tan-ish skin. His square-ish face is completely free of blemishes and his wide eyes are a piercing shade of jade green. He has wavy ear-length brown hair topped off with a white and blue visor cap. It is usually worn so that a shadow is cast over his eyes. His style of dress also includes a gray n' white striped t-shirt, jean shorts ending below his knees, and black-laced blue running shoes. He is quite lanky; He is generally weak in terms of physical stature.

"What are you-?" she started, but was interrupted.

"_Shhhhh..._", Markus was silent. Then, he spoke "Do you feel that?", he asked.

Kira tried to remember where she had seen this boy before and remembered him from when he got a reward for doing well in school or something. She remembered his name as Markus and tried to feel the thing he was talking about. She suddenly felt energy pulsating through the air.

"Woah!" She shouted.

"I know, it's weird huh?" Markus asked.

"Why do you think no one else could feel it like we do?"

"I dunno, maybe they _can _feel it, but we're the only ones who bothered to notice it."

"That sounds... logical, I guess"

Markus stood up and offered his hand to Kira, who took it and they both looked towards where the energy was coming from.

* * *

Olimar placed a highly advanced and expensive machine in his mouth that allowed him to breath his home planet's air for a short amount of time and took off his helmet so he could hold his chin in his hand. In his other free hand, was a list there were dark printed letters in the center as well as various scribbles on the side of the paper.

**A Devil's Mask**

**A Witch's Paintbrush**

**A Red, Blue, and Emerald Orb**

**A Jester's Book**

**A Smoke-Filled Egg**

**A Dark Dragon**

**A Metal Doppelganger **

**A Nuclear Tank**

**A Mutagenic Poison**

**A Fallen Angel's Shield**

**A Lava Demon**

**A Black Knight's Armor**

**A Dimensional Fluid**

**A Reality Bending Crown **

**Fourteen Villains Created these Objects So That Their Descendents would Rule All Worlds and Destroy All That Disrespected Them, In Unison of these Objects, they will Resurrect Themselves and Lead their Heirs To Greatness**

One of the scribbles next to **A Devil's Mask **wrote Majora's Mask, there were also other series names and places such as Hyrule, Mushroom Kingdom, Pokemon, Flat Zone, Lylat, or Sky World. There was a bunch of chicken scratch everywhere and Olimar face-palmed or whatever in frustration. Then, he called in King DeDeDe.

"**DeDeDe, get in here!"** he boomed.

The King of Dreams rushed in and fell on his face, then scurried back up into a standing position, saluting to the Now Evil Space Delivery man.

"Yesh, sir!" he quacked.

"What is the status on recruiting more Dark Smashers and on the acquiring of Majora's Mask?"

"Uh... I think dat Ganondof called about gettin' dat mask a while ago and we're currently searchin' fo otha Dahk Smashas..."

"And...? That's all you're doing? We are the heirs of the ancient villains who created the weapons that _we _should be using for achieving our greatness!"

"Oh! Uh... Oh yeah! Dat Mr. L guy said we was currently workin' on buildin' dat robot! Uh... Galleom, I think it was!"

"What about finding Lord Tabuu's tomb?"

"Uh... wat?"

"**Get out of here and get me someone that can speak proper English, you bloated bird!!!"**

"WAAAH!!!" screamed King DeDeDe, fumbling out of the room as several hundred pikmin plucked themselves from the ground.

"Who am I working with, here?" Olimar whined.

* * *

"This way, Kira!", called Markus who could sense the energy a lot better for reasons unknown.

"Wait up!" she yelled.

"Well, I would, but if we don't get there quickly, we might miss the weird energy and then we'd be in quite a turmbalaro!"

"You could slow down a little- Wait! What?! **Oof!**" Kira tripped on a writhing green pikmin with a leaf on its head and tail; It was struggling in the same direction as Kira and Markus.

"What was that? **Oof!**" Markus tripped on a yellow and blue toad as well as a red yoshi also struggling towards the same direction.

Kira started up and pointed at the four creatures and shouted "Hey its a pikmin! And, oh look, its Yvan and Wolley too!"

"Actually..." started Ala-Gold, "The name's..." continued Bucken-Berry.

"**Ala-Gold and Bucken-Berry! The Super Toad Bros!!!" **they shouted in unison, jumping up in the air.

"I like Yvan and Wolley better..."

"Well, tough luck!!!" shouted Gold, using his propeller suit to shoot up into the air, then floated back down asking "Say, you wouldn't happen to have any spare mushrooms on you, would you?"

"Actually, I just happen to have two!" said Markus, pulling out two mushrooms and handing them to the Toad Bros.

A power up-esque noise sounded as they ate their mushrooms. "Yippee!" They both shouted.

"_Vould you 'appen to 'ave some nectar az vell?" _asked Cheerio, his voice slightly squeakier due to his buds transforming back into leaves through exhaustion.

"I do actually", Markus pulled out some nectar in a jar that Cheerio drank, the leaves on his body growing back into light green buds.

"You understand him?" asked Kira with a puzzled expression.

"What, you don't?" Markus was equally puzzled.

"I think I have an explanation for this", stated Berry, hopping off his red yoshi. He then proceeded to pull out a tiny Smash-looking-Ball and threw it at the ground.

In a whiff of smoke, a faded version of Master Hand appeared and began to speak.

"_Now, due to the vast amount of dimensional activity going on, there might be a weak, temporary mental link between the Smashers and their apprentices, allowing a low variety of their abilities to be shared. Now, the obvious question is 'Why is the link established in the first place?' I have an answer for this as well. You see, when the space-time continuum gets polluted by too much dimensional energy, the thoughts and physical capability of life forms is altered. However, a different effect occurs in Smashers and their apprentices. In the corners of their minds, there is a certain channel only found in those capable of being a Smasher. The dimensional pollutants causes these channels to become linked to their respective counterparts, allowing information and DNA to flow freely through them, so make sure not to excite any apprentices. Doing so may cause mass destruction and our current secrecy to be terminated", _Master Hand faded away until he was a tiny Smash Ball again which Berry pocketed and hopped on his red yoshi again.

"So basically you have the powers of whatever Smasher you want to train under!" simplified Gold, hopping in the air simply.

"Wait! What do you mean by train under a Smasher?! You're not even supposed to exist!" Kira shouted.

"It's 'kay, Kira, I can read their minds now. You can believe what they say..." Markus closed his eyes and placed his hand on her arm.

"Oh no, I feel another incredibly long explanation coming..."

**THREE HOURS LATER**

"Oh....... Now I understand _everything_!" Kira calmed down.

"I already did! 'Cause I'm psychic now, like Lucas!!!" Markus bragged.

"I had no idea what was going on until now! I'm glad you could-"

"_Vy are ve steel standing around!!!???? Meester Neek eez steel in trouble and ve need to save 'eem immediately!!!!" _Cheerio rampaged.

"-clear that up for me, Berry. You're a real pal." Gold happily patted his brother on the back.

"Uh... the pikmin _really _wants to help his master now..."

"What? Oh, yes yes, That boy who fell out of the plane. The pikmin wants to go find him. Okay, let's go do that now..." Berry responded.

"What? But I want to go to Smash Mansion and become an apprentice, right Markus?"

Markus immediately saw the flaw through the minds of the four. "Uh... we don't have a ride though..."

Everyone was silent.

* * *

Nick was staring at a picture of Cheerio- "Sniff, Cheeri..." -while Sarah was trying to read her book.

"_Can't let you do that, Star Fox! _Ugh! It's no use!" she threw the book at the floor.

Nick looked up, mildly interested.

"I keep on-_Can't let you!_- saying that stupid-_do that!_- catchphrase of Wolf's! Why is it so-_Star Fox!_- difficult to read this dang book!!??"

Nick couldn't help but snicker. "You're so silly! I loved that phrase! It might even be more funny than _'Do a barrel roll!'_!" Nick fell over on his back laughing.

"Grrrr...." Sarah growled.

"You know, I never found out how you got stuck here..."

"Well, if you must know, I saw a quarter next to this building and it flashed a light at me and I... have a... liking, I guess of... _shiny things...._" she giggled, holding out a pile of shiny things that she pulled out of her pockets.

"_**Ahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!" **_Nick cackled.

"Hey! Respect the-_Can't let you do that, Star Fox!_-shiny!... Oh, Dang it!"

_**Meanwhile in another room of the Dark Smashers Headquarters. **_

"_Can't let you do that, Star Fox!" _Wolf was grinning at himself in front of a mirror.

"Oh yeah... That Fox is gonna be shaking in his boots next time I see him! Yeah... Who's the man?"

_Back to Nick and Sarah_

***Sigh*** "I haaatee this place..." Sarah groaned.

"At least you're not shouting _'Can't let you brew that, Starbucks!' _anymore"

"Yeah..." Sarah paced around in a small circle, then settled herself into a sleeping position.

"Mmmmm..." Nick stared at a spot on the ground, something orange suddenly caught his eye...

On closer inspection, it an orange stem waving at him in the ground. It was a pikmin stem, just the thing he had been wanting.

"GASP!"

Nick started sweating and on pure, Hocotatian instinct, plucked it.

"_Woah there!" _an orange pikmin flew out of the ground and landed behind Nick, growing to the size of a normal Smash-Sized Pikmin.

The pikmin was mostly orange in color with a few brown splotches here and there, this pikmin was taller than usual, its eyes were slightly shrunken, it was more muscular than most pikmin, it had a flower on its head with light green petals like Cheerio, and most notably, it had three large, blunt claws instead of fingers.

Nick's mouth was gaping at the new pikmin.

"_G'day, mate! I suppose that you're my new maser! Glad to meet ya! Name's... well, I don't really got a name! Would you mind give'n me one?" _the orange pikmin greeted.

Nick slapped himself, then smiled at the pikmin. "Uh... Jacks! Your name's Jax!"

"_Gee, Thanks, mate!" _Jax slapped Nick on the back. _"And... What would be your name?"_

"Nick! Thanks for asking! I'm not a Captain yet, but I'm training! Don't worry!"

"_Alright then, Mr. Nick! The name's Jax!" _

"Hey, uh... can you do me a favor?"

"_Sure thing, mate!" _

"Well, as you can see, I am trapped in this here evil building! So if you could help me out of said building, that would be fantastic"

"_Well, Mr. Nick, I doubt that I'd be able to bust you out of this here buildin', but I know for a fact that I can get ya out of this cell!" _

"Ridiculous! I bet you could bust me out of this whole place if you really tried!"

"_Maybe if we worked together sir!" _

"Good idea, I assume you can use those claws of yours to slice through these bars?"

"_You bet I can, if you'd be so kind as to toss me..." _

"Sure thing!"

"_Do it on the count of three, though. I don't want to sneeze or something and accidentally smack my face against them bars!", _Nick did a thumbs up and grasped Jax's stem, _"Alright sir! One... Two... Three..." _

_**PHAPEEW!!! **_

"_Ouch! You threw me at the bars when I told you to wait to three!" _

"I did wait to three!"

"_Ah ya, but I didn't get to say 'GO!' Ya always gotta wait 'til the man waitin' says 'GO!' Got it?" _

"_**sigh, **_Yeah, I got it"

"_Ya, good job, mate. Here we go now... One... Two... Three.... GO!" _

_**PHEEYAWHAPEEW! **_

_**SLICE! **_

Jax went straight through the bars, using his knife-like claws to slice through. On the other side, he proceeded to cut a bigger hole allowing Nick to make his way through.

Sarah's ears perked up as she heard the bars fall. "Pikmin!" she shouted, "And Nick! Great! We're finally busting out of this place! You should have woke me up and I would have helped!"

"Yeah, that's great, but someone might be guarding the door to our prison!"

"Nah, they don't care about us enough to give us a guard"

"Ludicrous! They're not mean enough to just assume we're too weak to break out!"

**That's what you think**

* * *

"Lord Olimar! Lord Olimar!"

"Whaaat?" Olimar turned to see Duon rolling in through the door.

The blue head spoke. "Hey! I was just thinking..."

"Wow! I'm proud of you, Blue!" complimented the pink head sarcastically.

"Well, those other apprentices are spiritually drawn to this location, right? You know, because Ganondorf didn't have the time to make a fully invisible spell for the entire building, he could only create an energy field that people not connected to the Smash Universe couldn't see"

"Yeah..." said Olimar, not seeing the point.

"Don't you think we should look for them, or, you know, set up a trap or something in case they find us?"

"I hate to admit it, but I'm worried too, we think the apprentices are gaining the abilities of their trainers due to the immense amount of dimensional activity, that's what Mr. L's I-dunno-let-me-think-about-it-matron said anyways!"

"So you're saying that our future predicting machine is saying that apprentices will temporarily gain the powers of the smashers!?" shouted Olimar.

"Uh-huh" nodded both heads.

"**Then why aren't you watching the prisoners?! **We can't let them escape and warn the Smashers!!! **You idiots!"**

"It's not my fault! He (She) was the one on duty!" shouted both Duon heads, pointing at each other.

Olimar smacked his face to his hand.

* * *

"I'm bored! Someone tell me a funny joke or something" Jack moaned.

"I don't know any jokes!" said Irani.

"All my jokes are inappropriate" cheeped Nola.

"Mmmmmmmm..." hummed Lill.

* * *

Ala-Gold used his Propeller Suit to peek in through the Dark Smash Headquarters window, after confusedly explaining to the group, Berry immediately understood the situation and began to come up with a rescue plan.

"DooooDooDoooooo!" hummed Markus.

"Stop humming, Mark!" growled Kira.

"The name's Markus, Kara"

"Come on guys, focus... We're trying to regroup so we can get to the mansion quicker!" sighed Berry.

"I vote we charge in there shouting various company motto's!" shouted Ala-Gold.

"I call Five Dollar Foot Long!" called Markus

"Okay, first we need to know what everyone's strong points are. Mine is my intelligence!"

"I'm good at creating diversions!" stated Gold.

"_I 'ave zee ability to turn eenvisible!" _stated Cheerio and Markus translated.

"I can see into people's minds now, but I'm also good at figuring things out" stated Markus.

"I'm... well, I can do... stuff..." stated Kira.

"Perfect, now I can come up with a battle plan"

"I reeeally don't want to do this..."

"Why are we here again?"

"Oops, I forgot to take my medicine today!"

A few unsure voices murmured throughout the group.

"Hey, come on guys, we can do this!" Berry reassured the group.

"It's not that we _can't _do it, it's just that we-"

"OH MAH GAWD, We gotz intruders!!!" shouted Duon coming out and seeing the group, then pushing the alarm button.

* * *

"Crap! We must have set off the alarm!" shouted Sarah who broke out into a run alongside Nick and Jax inside a narrow hallway.

"No way, man! We were just walking along the hall! Unless someone just now found our empty cage..."

"_I always like to consider a third option"_

_

* * *

Seriously, How many people remembered the silhouette jumping out of the plane from last chapter?_

The dark shadow dashed through a narrow hallway. It was very small, but still going quite fast. It had obviously heard the alarm and was trying to get to a safe location.

It passed by a small patch of light coming out of a window, and for a split second, its physical features were revealed.

It was a girl, about 3 ft tall- more or less. She had bark brown skin and her hair was made out of four long green leaves, one of them was large enough to hide one of her eyes. She had long pointed ears, wore a light green crown, a red and yellow jacket, purple gloves, and a lime green tail.

She ran out of the light and became a silhouette again. She was obviously searching for someone based on the look on her face.

"_Craaaaaaaaaaaap... Don't worry, Nick. I'll get you out of this place." _she thought.

She hopped across a couple of sleeping Goombas, Primids, and Waddle Doos and Dees, waking a few.

"Huh? Wuzzat?" growled a Goomba in a raspy voice.

"Look! It's a shadowy thing!" shouted a Waddle Doo.

"Hey! The alarm's going off! It must have been that thing!" shouted a Waddle Dee.

"Oi! Men, let's get that thing and report to Lord Olimar!" pointed a Primid in an even raspier voice.

"Chaaaaaarge!!!" a few shouted and they all dashed off after.

Soon enough, a large commotion was going on all over the Dark Smasher headquarters. Everyone was trying to figure out what the heck was everyone was shouting about and only a few knew even if there were three different groups of intruders.

* * *

Sarah jumped out of a door, ran down a long hill for 30 minutes and hopped into a ditch on all fours with Jax on her back. Nick tried to do a Link-style roll, but tripped and fell on his face in the ditch on top of Sarah.

"Get off..." shoved Sarah, Nick fell over again, emotionless.

She dusted herself off as Jax hopped to the ground saying some sort of Australian metaphor or something.

Sarah pointed at Nick, "Alright this seems like a safe spot to camp for now. You, go ahead and scope for any signs of the enemy while I help this pikmin dig our campsite. I'm not really good at taking charge, but there's no way you're going to be able to come up with a plan. I guess we'll have to take turns alternating between jobs."

"Okay, Sarah. I'll do whatever you want", he purred.

Sarah rolled her eyes and started helping the already digging pikmin build a fort.

_**Crack**_

Someone had stepped on a twig and all three heads turned towards the person who had cracked the twig. It was a girl, and she looked very tired and shocked. She looked pleadingly at the three for an explanation.

* * *

**SMASH APPRENTICE**

**NAGASHA**

* * *

Nagasha is from another dimension, a parallel Earth if you will where humans have animalistic features. She is a 14 year old pale-skinned girl, followed by messy brown hair and yellow, cat-like eyes. She is boney and lanky, reaching up to about 5 ft 9. She has a long, thin face glowing with some sort of feral, yet elegant beauty. She has a strange accent, and has wolf ears and a twice as long wolf tail. She wears a basic tan T-shirt that says "Bewhare of Girl" which was written on with a sharpie. She's sort of wild and pretty wise; she'll only react to you if you react to her, she's a TREMENDOUSLY loyal friend. Almost like a... dog... She is sarcastic a lot and can be a bit threatening at times. Her introductory quote is "Nha-gha-sha, not Nha-tha-sha."

"What?" asked Nick.

"Keep scoping, Nick" ordered Sarah.

"'Kay" purred Nick, his head never having left its post.

Sarah softened up a bit as she glanced over at the tired looking girl and Jax began digging a shelter again.

"Um... Hi" she said shyly. She had realized that she had been being a little bit bossy and didn't want to make a wrong first impression.

"Yes, Hello. I ham Nhaghasha. I ham ha um... girl who has been trhaveling for a very long time from a _very _fhar plhace. I'm not quite sure how I got here, but..." she started.

"Time Paradox probably. The whole Space-Time Continuum has been polluted be magical goop causing many dimensional anomalies that-" Nick continued, not bothering to take a look at the newcomer.

"Thank you, Nick. That's is Nick by the way, he's a pervert and a hippy so stay away from him. My name's Sarah and I'm a bit shaken up after what's happened today. I hope I get a chance to calm down so we can be friends." she sighed.

"Wait, who's here again?" Nick now mildly interested after being insulted while he wasn't looking. His eyes found there way to Nagasha and I bet you'll never guess what he did next.

"Ah! My sweet lady! A woman of such fine elegance as yourself shouldn't be roughing it in such unkind conditions. Take my jacket! Crap, I'm not wearing a jacket. Oh, none of that matters; all that matters is that you're safe from this evil ruffians." he finished, holding her hand while standing on one knee.

Nagasha looked unimpressed for a moment, but then her face suddenly grew some emotion.

"Hah, yes, I see now, just by looking at you that, you hare a mhan of mhany glorious things. In fhact you hare so mhagnificent that I... wish to kiss you..." she whispered leaning in closer.

Nick listened in disbelief for a few seconds, slapped himself, then leaned in closer. Their mouths for milliseconds away from touching and Nick was trying to wiggle his tongue out like an idiot and Sarah's right eye was twitching uncontrollably when out of nowhere Nagasha smirked and totally went wolf girl on his butt. She used her long claws to slash holes all over his shirt and there were many cuts everywhere. Nick didn't have time to react and fell down in shock.

"**WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!!?? DO YOU KNOW THE LAST TIME SOMEONE ACTUALLY WANTED TO KISS ME?! AND THEN I GET TAUNTED LIKE THIS?!?! NO!!! NO!!! NO FREAKING WAY!!!" **Nick continued to rant and when he quieted down, Nagasha spoke, "Let that be ha lesson to you. Bewhare sticking your tounge into the mouth of ha girl with fhangs."

"I can tell we're going to be best friends" Sarah hugged Nagasha and they both blushed a bit.

"Haaaw, thanks, We both hate perverts"

"All I want is just some loooooooooove. Is that so hard?" Nick pleaded.

* * *

"Well this sucks" Ala-Gold sighed.

"I believe that the 'this' you are referring to does not have the ability to literally 'suck' as you say it", replied Markus calmly.

"_Quiet!"_ screeched Mewtwo through telepathy. He looked slightly uneasy. _"Cap- Lord Olimar is approaching, he wishes to speak to you." _He then floated away.

Olimar walked down the halls. He had a new uniform: This one was yellow, black, and blood red. He was wearing a small cape and he now had a holster which he had a gun in. His helmet was now darker shaded so you couldn't see his face as good.

He looked around, then his eyes landed on the new prisoners in Nick and Sarah's cage. He grinned. "Well, this isn't what I had in mind, but it will do for now"

Olimar turned around sharply. "Who has the mask?" he asked. No one answered and he continued walking back to his room. "Fine", he laughed, "My new commander will be here shortly. She already knows what to do".

The room went silent as Olimar left and eventually, more sounds that sounded like footsteps could be heard. They were very light, and a little squeaky. They sounded a lot like Kirby's. In fact, most of the villains thought it was Kirby except that Olimar had clearly stated that it was a "she".

Finally, after much anticipation, a small, white rectangular board walked, the LED light on its head was glowing blue. She was followed by Claus, who was holding Majora's Mask. He looking very depressed and sad. He was staring at the mask with what looked to be disgust. He was obviously thinking of his opportunities if he had stayed good.

"Hi everyone!!!" waved the Wii Balance Board cutely.

"Hi!" "Hey!" "Hi Wii!" "Wii!" "It's the Wii Balance Board!" various people said.

The light on Wii's (What we will be calling her from now on) head changed from blue to dark red and her whole body shifted to black. Then, she pounced on top of Mr. L who had been doing nothing in particular in a corner. In fact, he hadn't even noticed Wii enter.

"_**DO NOT SPEAK OUT OF LINE!!! I AM YOUR SUPERIOR! IF YOU DISOBEY ME, I WILL TAKE AND AXE AND CHOP OF YOUR LIMBS AND FORCE YOU TO EAT THEM, THEN I WILL WAIT FOR YOU TO START BLEEDING FROM THE FACE, AND POOR 68 GALLONS OF VINEGAR ON THEM. THEN, I WILL STUFF LIVE PIGLETS IN YOUR MOUTH UNTIL THEY SUFFOCATE AND THEN I SHALL BREAK YOUR NECK IN HALF, DROP YOU IN A RANDOM EGYPTIAN DESERT WITH NOTHING TO EAT BUT URIN TO SURVIVE ON FOR 2 WEEKS, THEN I SHALL BOIL YOU ALIVE, CUT YOU UP INTO CANDY, AND SELL YOUR OWN BODY IN THE FORM OF SUGARY SNACKS TO YOUR CHILDREN AT AN OUTRAGEOUS PRICE!!! THIS IS WHAT I WILL DO TO YOU IF YOU SO MUCH AS SNEEZE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!?!??!?!?" **_she boomed in a terribly demonic voice.

The brainwashed Luigi was horrified, he had never so much as looked at this person who was now threatening to turn him into candy and sell him to his children. "B- But, I didn't even do anything!!!"

**"GRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOAAAAAH**_**!!!" **_Wii picked up Mr. L and threw him out the window.

"_WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!"_

Everyone sweat-dropped with looks of terror on their face as the Super Mario "Game Over" music played in the background.

"Sooooo, does everyone get it, now?" giggled Wii, her light turning back to blue and her skin turning back to white.

Everyone nodded in a robotic manner.

"Good! Tehe! Now let's get this show on the road!" she danced, motioning Claus to come over.

Claus flew over with his wings and slowly handed the mask to her. She danced around in circles until she was in front of the cage. She looked over at all the villains in the hopes of finding someone in particular. "Ancient Minister! Or... R.O.B.!" she shouted, "You're a big, strong robot, right? Will you come over here and help me put this mask on one of these weaker kids??? Pleeeeease???"

"Um... Okay" R.O.B agreed. He slid over and took the mask. "It seems the the blue colored toad would be the ideal host. While I detect strong mental activity, I do not see any resistance in the soul", he concluded.

"Aww! You can see into people's minds and souls?! You're so cool, R.O.B.! I wish I was as awesome as you!" she smiled.

"Oh...yes, thank you..." R.O.B. blushed. He sighed. "Now... I shall secure the toad", he opened up the door to the cage and went inside.

"W-w-w-wait!!! What are you doing?! Is that safe?! Wait!! WAIT!!!" Bucken-Berry shouted.

R.O.B. inched closer and closer with Majora's Mask spinning around in his hands. Bucken-Berry was pressing himself against the wall and beads of sweat were popping up all over his body. His glasses began to fog up and his red yoshi went inside its egg shell. Everyone watched him hopelessly not knowing what to do. Everyone was confused until suddenly...

_**BADA-BOOM!!!**_

One of the walls crumbled and Jack, Lill, Nola, and Irani appeared.

"Not on my watch!!!" shouted Jack, pointing at everyone. _"Wait... everyone?" _he thought, and looked at the ridiculous amount of villains in the room who were all staring at him blankly.

"Oh... shi-..." said Nola.

Ridley swooped towards the miniscule army letting out a fierce battle cry and the rest followed suit.

"_**ATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!" **_

"_**GRRRRRRRRRRROAAAAAAH, I WILL DESTROY ALL OF YOU AND PLACE YOUR SEVERED HEADS IN MY OVEN WHICH I WILL USE TO BAKE A PIE AND THEN GIVE IT TO CHAIRITYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!"**_

* * *

**1. Yes, there actually WAS a point to the Majora's Mask chapter, I tried to give each series a dark weapon, but my imagination couldn't work something up for everyone. There will also be a contest concerning these, you can see more about it at the bottom.**

**2. Yvan and Wolley were the fan names IGN made for the blue and yellow toad in NSMBW. However, it was later found out that the Nintendo Development Team already had nicknames for them: Bucken-Berry and Ala-Gold. Not too many people were happy about the new names. I used Nintendo's names along with the personalities IGN had developed.**

**3. I had this idea that the kids would somehow be able to bust out of their cell by using their trainer's powers until I realized that training hadn't started yet. So I made up some sort of dimensional warp mental connection thing. **

**4a. I always thought that Olimar had been increased in size by Master Hand in order to fight in Smash Bros. and that there were actually little pikmin planted all around the stage and whenever Olimar touched them, they would grow in size- explains how you pluck a pikmin out of a bulborb's brain. There was probably like a little smich of dirt that the pikmin was hiding in.**

**4b. You know, you are allowed to request events like Nick plucking Jax. Oh, and I doubt Australians really talk like that. Just like Texans don't say HOWDY Y'ALL every time they see you or use wacky similes that no one understands. So, feel free to request your OC getting a special weapon or something.**

**5. LED light? Is that what it's called?**

**6. I really had fun with this Wii Balance Board scene! I always had a slight fear that the board would hack me up into pieces when I wasn't looking personally. And after some research I found out many other people feel the same!**

**By the way, the explanation on the smash universe took three hours because I don't think anyone in real life would go- "Oh, everything I've ever known and done has been a lie, now let's go have an adventure!"**

* * *

**Here are the Standings!!!**

**Smashers: Leader: Master Hand, Deputy: Pit, Members: Captain Falcon, Diddy Kong, Donkey Kong, Falco, Fox, Ike, Kirby, Link, Lucario, Lucas, Mario, Marth, Meta-Knight, Ness, Peach, Pikachu, Pokemon Trainer and Pokemon, Ice Climbers, Jigglypuff, Samus, Sheik, Zelda, Snake, Toon Link, Yoshi, Dr. Mario, Pichu, Roy, Young Link, Toon Zelda, Toon Sheik, Plusle & Minun, Dixie Kong, Crazy Hand, Alloys, Sandbag**

**Dark Smashers: Leader: Olimar, Deputy: Wii, Members: Ganondorf, Bowser, Wolf, Wario, Petey Piranha, Mr. L, Porky, Dark Link, Dark Toon Link, Fallen Pit, Mewtwo, Rayquaza, Meta Ridley, King DeDeDe, Mr. Game and Watch, R.O.B., and Duon.**

**Smash Apprentices: Leader: Irani, Deputy: Markus, Members: Nick, Trey, Nola, Jack, Dark Kirby Jr., Lill, Sarah, Kira, Nagasha **

**Also here is a list of apprentices to be introduced (Going in order)-Shinjuku, Zen, Rinku, Danod, Jesse, Felix, Zak, Kenji, Nikki, Arcamus, Joe, Tomoko, Crimson, Rakolai, Juliet, Marcus, and Ribbon. **

**So, I think I'll let the submissions run on for about one more chapter or so.**

**P.S. You guys really aren't seeing the potential stuff you can do here. Example- you train under R.O.B., you can get ANYTHING he has from his series: You could get this totally awesome Gyro Sword that spins around and crap and flies and you can ride on it! You can create tornadoes or something with the spin attack, X-Ray vision! Come on!!!! You guys are all just doing punches, kicks, and swords!!! If you trained under Ness, you could just make up some random PK technique- PK Bitch Slap even! PK Math Problems, I dunno! **

**But that's up to you of course, and also, if you want, you can gain a few minor techniques from other smashers if you want, Nick's going to get a paralyzer gun from Samus (Won't turn into a whip though, to prevent over powering)**

* * *

**Oops, Almost forgot... the contest... yeah... **

**Anyways, here it is! You simply have to guess what the Dark Weapons are. Easy right? I dunno. I made to make something up for Kid Icarus and Ice Climber though and some weapons are living things. Guess a weapon right, and your OC gets to star in the arc where the Dark Smashers try to get that item! Have fun!**


	9. Earth Day, foo

**What?**

* * *

In some random as crap peaceful bright green hill in the middle of nowhere in particular, a beam of light radiated down from who knows where. Out of it slowly stepped three figures. The first one was Celebi, a shiny pink easily recognizable female legendary pokemon who protected forests and other Earth Day worthy places. The second was a brilliant god-like woman clad in royal looking forest green dress that seemed to radiate some sort of power. Her name was Farore. The third was a less recognizable creature, but no less heroic. It was a large granite colored, peach shaped figure with two round blue eyes, two short feet, and two incredibly long tattooed arms, though one was notably longer than the other. He was a mamuta, although his name was Mamuta as well.

Mamuta slammed his giant hand onto the ground, causing it to tremble and generate a small sprout. Farore's fingertips sparked with magic as she waved them over the sprout causing it to grow to an enormous size. Finally, Celebi sang a quick note which caused the sprout to grow into an enormous tree. The three stared at their work and smiled. Mamuta fell-sat on to the ground creating a small earthquake that caused a small table made of rock to emerge from the ground along with two chairs. Celebi and Farore took their respective chairs and the reunion began.

"It's a shame Master couldn't join us today, we hardly ever see her...", sighed Farore.

"Yes, we haven't seen her since... you know", muttered Celebi.

"Some pikmin tell me all she does is bury herself in paperwork because she is so depressed still", groaned Mamuta.

"And it's a shame we only get to all come together like this once a year...", sighed Farore.

"I know...", agreed Celebi.

Suddenly, from out of the clouds descended an even more elegant looking girl than Farore with glistening forest green eyes. She looked to be about sixteen though she had the face and spirit of an eight year old. She also dressed like a sixteen year old, fitting herself with pale gray skinny jeans, tennis shoes, and a skinny cotton vest on top of a long sleeved shirt that led down to a pair of gloves, however, her left arm was completely black. She also had short silvery hair that reached down to her shoulders and had a streak of gold though it that covered her left eye and ear. On her right ear was an earring in the shape of a glove.

Her clothes flowed with the gentle breeze as she touched down to the ground. Mamuta slapped another piece of ground and another rock-chair appeared. She quickly took the seat and smiled a weak "Thank You".

Everyone gazed at her and she slowly turned a light shade of red. "Sorry, a lot of paperwork to do, you know?"

Celebi jumped out of her chair and squeezed Master Hand between her arms. "Master! I missed you so much! I thought you wouldn't make it!"

"I missed you so much too!" replied Master smiling as she cradled Celebi in her arms. "Crazy has been getting suspicious of our meetings, so I sent him to go help with a mansion I'm building for some kids who are training under my Smashers ..."

"I believe I know one of those children. I granted him one wish because he was so dedicated to the condition of the Earth and the spreading of peace and love", shrugged Mamuta.

"Oh dear... Did he have a little green pikmin? ...What exactly did he wish for?"

"He wished that he could swap his Y chromosome for a Y one".

Master sighed in relief "Well, that's not as bad as I thought. I was worried he would make himself a harem out of all the female apprentices"

"What other kinds of apprentices do you have?" asked Celebi, leaning in curiously.

"Well, there are the three littluns: Trey, Zee, and Dark. Dark isn't very friendly though. I think it's because his older brother, Dark Kirby, was so abusive to him".

"Dark Kirby??? Isn't he imprisoned in the Mirror World?" asked Farore, sweating slightly.

"He recently escaped... along with his fellow Darks: Dark Link, Dark Young, Dark Toon, Fallen Pit, The Cosmic Brothers, and XD001".

"...That can't be good..."

"It isn't", cut in Mamuta. "Those Cosmic Brothers have been terrorizing Distant Planet for ages".

"Dark Young Link has been causing havoc in the Lost Woods", agreed Farore.

"And Lugia has been hunting down its shadow counterpart forever too", murmured Celebi.

"I can only imagine what the other Darks are planning for the Smash Universe", sweated Master. "Some of my least loyal Smashers have been vanishing frequently lately as well".

"Do you think it's safe for your apprentices to be going off all by themselves?" piped Celebi.

"Yes, you may be right. I think it's time for them to be picked up, however I can't find Claus, Mr. L, or even Mr. Game and Watch to transport me", griped Master.

"I'm sure if we all united our powers, we could dimensional travel as well!" cheered Celebi.

"I guess it's worth a shot", agreed Farore.

"But let us savor this meeting for a bit", groaned Mamuta. "We only get to do it once a year".

Master Hand floated down from the sky onto a stage and transformed into her human form. She pulled out a microphone and an eletric guitar. Farore teleported next to her and took out a base guitar. Celebi appeared in a burst of light above Master Hand and took out a keyboard. Mamuta awkwardly crawled on stage and took out a pair of iron drums.

Master Hand strummed a note on the guitar and the others followed suit.

"Reduce! Reuse! Recycle!!!!! Thank you everyone! Make sure you're nice to your Mother Earth! She is your Mother after all!"

Master put her hand across her heart and smiled.

Quizy suddenly exploded into existence in front of everyone. **"I'M NOT DEAD! I NEVER WILL BE, NOW GO BE NICE TO YOUR MOTHER AND GOOD NIGHT!!!" **

Quizy spun around madly and disappeared in a ball of life energy.

"_This is your friendly neighborhood hippie saying 'Don't be a Fat Cat! Be nice to your Mother!'"_

_

* * *

_

**Quizy lives! Go spread the word! And go do something for the environment as the next chapter will be truly epic! It will have the first fight scene, we find out Nick has a Mom from the Nintendo Universe, and just how the Darks escaped! Why is Master Hand a girl you ask? You'll find out soon... Oh and you know that little leaf girl OC I made, she's most definitely not going to have a relationship with Nick. I'm not that pitiful. NOW DON'T FLAME ME OR I'LL SICK QUIZEH ON YOU! I'VE BEEN HAVING PROBLEMS IN REAL LIFE!!! You know how I refer to myself as a bit overly romantic? Yeah, it's that kind of problem...**


	10. Spiders and Balance Boards

**I updated... Why no one reviewed? OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!!!**

_**

* * *

PART 5: THINGS GET SERIOUS**_

No one was doing particularly anything when the sun rose. Sarah was watching anything that passed by and Nagasha was looking around. They both sat there like that for a bit until Nick woke up and walked out of their fort. Then, he walked into the middle of a field and looked at the sunrise. He smiled, appreciating nature... until a metroid smacked onto his face out of freakin' nowhere

"HOLY CRAP!!!" Nick shouted flailing his arms around and running around in circles with the metroid eating out his face.

"_SKREE!!!" _it screeched.

Sarah watched and Nagasha was stroking a stray dog that had come up. "Do you think he's in pain right now?" asked Sarah finally.

Nagasha looked up, puzzled, then stared at Nick.

"Good lord and all that is holy, please get this thing off of my face! Dear Mamuta! It burns!!! This thing's more annoying than that leafy space pirate girl I met last Christmas, and oh by the way, did I mention It BURNS!!!" he shouted, attempting to pry the metroid off while rolling around in the dirt.

"_SKREEE!! SKREEE!!"_

"What mhakes you shay that?" inquired Nagasha.

"Well, I dunno... I just have this feeling..."

"GAH!!!" Nick shouted, throwing it on the ground. It then decided to stick itself to his belly and little hearts popped out as it started purring.

"Haaaaw, he's not in phain, it likes him!" sighed Nagasha.

"Let's keep it!"

"Yea!"

"**No!" **Nick whined.

"_SKREE! SKREE!"_

"_Pleeeeeeeeease..." _both girls asked, their eyes getting bigger and sparklier by the second.

Nick's eye twitched once then he simply sighed "Okay..."

"**Yay!!!!!"** they both jumped and hugged Nick and the metroid.

"And just for the record, I would have kept it for you anyway", whispered Sarah.

"_Now, I dun' recall gettin' any hugs when I was allowed to stay!" _muttered Jax.

"Now, we should come up with a name! How about... Metroidy?" asked Sarah.

Nagasha laughed, then lowered her eyes "No, Sharhah... Let's name it Skree, because that's what it shouts all the time!" she smiled, her fangs glinting.

"Uh..." sweat-dropped Nick.

"That's an awesome name!" jumped Sarah.

"Glad you think so..." grumbled Nick, petting Skree, half-heatedly. Then, he smiled. "You know, this thing isn't half bad..., but I wonder how it tast- AAAAAH!!!"

Skree launched itself onto Nick's face, causing Nick to fall over and Skree just hovered in the air. Skree floated back down and placed itself on his forehead where it began purring and more little hearts popped out. _"Skree! Skree!" _

Nick was obviously not amused as he jumped up and threw it into a pile containing other dangerous creatures from other series that had attacked him. "I _hate_ dimensional rifts now!", but Skree flew right back like a boomerang and Nick fell down again. "I at least wish I knew if it was a boy or a girl..."

"How hare you so good with these hanimals hand phlants? I'm the only person I know who chan get ha rhandom hanimal to cuddle with them", asked Nagasha, stroking the dog.

"One of the many perks of being a tree-hugger... One of the cool ones anyway, not the dumb stereo-typical ones you see on TV all the time" Nick groaned, but smiled a bit while no one was looking and stroked Skree.

"_Uh... Mr. Nick, I'd think it'd be a good idea to make some progress on gettin' to Smash Mansion again, I'd kinda like to see it if ya don't mind"_, Jax walked over to Nick and touched him on the shoulder.

"He says he wants someone to be nice to him too", replied Nick.

"_That's not what I jus' went an' said!!!" _shouted Jax.

The girls took it as being embarrassed of his "request" and smiled evilly.

Sarah jumped right up, her hair doing a quick flip, as she bounded over to Jax and poked him in the cheek and hugging him, causing him to blush. Sarah then took her over to sit on her lap. Fortunately, Nick didn't see this, otherwise, he would have gone and thrown another fit.

* * *

"Say, Petal, you don't think turning evil was a bad idea do you?" Olimar asked his red pikmin, spinning around in his rolly chair.

Petal, the red pikmin, was silent.

"Mmmm, I don't really care anymore. I don't care too much about anything anymore. I don't care what people think about me, or if I hurt people or not." Olimar continued spinning around.

In fact, he spinned around so fast that his chair flew right out the stinkin' window and since he was on the top floor of a twenty story building, that didn't work out so great for him.

"_**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" **_

* * *

"Did you hear something?" asked Nola who was cozying it up with Jack.

"Nah, not really..." replied Jack, wiping a little grease off his mask. The cage wasn't exactly "clean".

"You'd think those guards would learn by this point to actually 'guard' the cage..." sighed Lill staring at the empty landscape in front of them.

"Yeah, next time you do a break out, could you do it a bit quieter, please?" Kira whined, crossing her arms.

"I wouldn't be complaining if I were you, if we hadn't gotten here when we had, your little blue friend over there's mind would be totally warped at this point. I'd be a little more grateful since we managed to nab the mask in that confusion", Irani pouted, holding up Majora's Mask.

"Yes, let us all take our turn and talk an equal amount in order to make our creators feel warm and fuzzy and more involved in the story!" shouted Markus.

"What the hell are you _talking _about?" asked Nola.

"Just being my normal tuna fish lodged inside a tennis racket self..."

"..." everyone paused.

"Well, this isn't awkward at all..." yawned Jack.

"..."

"Hey guys, you hear something?" asked Ala-Gold who had been at the back of the cage, comforting his brother.

Crazy Hand fell through the hole in the roof that Nick had made when he first arrived. He landed directly in front of the cage, hovered up right, and shook the various debris off himself.

"**Crazy Hand!!!" **everyone shouted.

"You're here to rescue us!!!" cried out Nola.

"Nah, I just came to tell you, that after you all hurry up and get done playing around with this Evil Smashers crap, you guys need to haul some butt and help everyone out that's building YOUR mansion! Master Hand won't let me play with the moon sand I bought with my allowance yesterday until it's finiiiiished!" pouted Crazy Hand.

"What?! No, Crazy Hand, we're being held hostage! We need you to save us and take us back to the Smash Universe!!!" Irani grabbed the bars of the cage and started shaking it.

"Will you tell Master Hand that we're here so he can send some Smashers to come help us free?" Lill also grabbed the bars of the cage.

"Uh... guys, he already left. You're talking to a cardboard cut out of him with a tape recorder glued to the back..." pointed out Markus.

"_Broccoli is for wussies! Real men eat guacamole topped off with Cat hair!" _crackled the tape recorder.

"Haha! You guys thought I left, didn't you?" Crazy Hand fell back down and crushed the cut out of himself.

"What was the point of that, Hand?" asked Jack.

"Well, Grimm, have you ever actually noticed me do something that wasn't pointless?"

"No, not really"

"_Exactly, _anyways, see you all when you get done with this madness!" Crazy Hand flew off without another word as everyone watched him with varying expressions, a few of them were rather ticked off.

* * *

"Honestly, I've had better days than this", said Olimar to himself, staring at the mossy trees surrounding him. He plucked a few pikmin, shouted some nonsense at them, then continued on his way.

Unfortunately, the forest was littered with characters from various dimensions that had been dumped there through all the worm holes popping up in the universes.

"No! I don't want to buy a stupid MAP!" Olimar was shaking Tingle violently off his leg while several pikmin tried to pull him off.

"Come oooon! Just buy one, I've got to make a living you know!!!"

"**HEY! **Watch out!" Navi hovered up behind Olimar's head, causing him to trip and fall.

Then, the head of Olimar's company ship flew up to him. "What are you doing? Lazing around, I see. Get up! The President won't be happy to hear th-"

**BOOM, HEADSHOT!!!**

Olimar pulled the gun out his holster and shot it, causing it to explode, causing Mr. Resetti to pop up.

_**'Ba nah nah nah nah! Ba nah nah nah nah! Ba nah nah nah nah! Ba nah nah, naah nah naah! **_

_**Ba nah nah nah nah! Ba nah nah nah nah! Ba nah nah nah nah! Ba nah nah, naah nah naah!', **_Resetti's theme music played on cue, causing Olimar's eye... stub... line thing to twitch.

"Mucking up the dimensional links, I see? That's bad news! Do you know how hard it was for me to get here! You're a total screw up! You should- WOAH!!!"

Olimar interrupted Resetti by punching him with his fist down back into the hole he had dug and dropping a rock on top of it.

Then a hoard of Zubats flew down and started using combinations of super sonic, poison sting, and leech life which caused an extremely annoying pattern of confusion, poisonings, and HP to be slowly sucked away. Eventually, a group of white and purple pikmin managed to subdue the Zubats long enough for Olimar regain health. He pulled out a few mock-master balls from the storage unit on his back and managed to capture at least fourteen of them.

"Maybe I could use these later..." he muttered to himself, storing the Bat-Balls in his container.

Just when he figured the irritating hoards had finally depleted, He found a group of Wii Balance Boards. "Wii? No wait, there are five of you! This is blasphemy! This is madness!"

The boards all turned in unison on Olimar, staring at him sharply... waiting for the next move.

"Maaaadaneeeeeeeesssssss???" sang one of the boards, stepping up. He paused... "This IS _**SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!**_**" **the board jumped up and span around, spawning a microphone in midair, but he miscalculated the trajectory and timing of his jump and painfully fell on his back.

"Okay, what's going on here?" asked Olimar.

"Yo, Oli-dog, we're Wii's lil' bros!" a second board stepped up, "The name's Tide, I'm the masta of Yoga!" his skin turned blue and he sprouted a mohawk as he said this.

Another board stepped up "Yea, Yea... I'm... the master of Strength Training... Leaf... is my name...", his skin turned green and he also sprouted a mohawk.

"Yeah, I'd love to hear the rest of your names, but...", started Olimar.

"I'M PYRO!!! _**THE MASTER... OF AEROBICS...**_", his skin turned red and he sprouted a mohawk.

"Yeeeeeees, I'm Bolt and I control the Balance Gaaaaaaames... ", his skin turned yellow and he sprouted a mohawk.

"And... Hi, I'm not really the master of anything, I just keep track of the people's favorites and weights and goals and stuff... My name's Toxic by the way...", his skin turned purple and a baby fohawk appeared. "Oh yeah, and we also control the elements as well, Ti-"

"AP, AP, AP, AP! No, _**WE'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY IT ALL AT THE SAME TIME...**_ Just for that, you don't get to _**SAY IT WITH U-"**_

"**I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!!! Would you be quiet so I can find my way back to my base!?!?!" **Olimar boomed, interrupting Pyro.

"Oh... we can get you back home... Hey, dudes, I got an idea...How 'bout, we have a game, to see if you deserve our help.... We do know these woods, inside and out..." murmured Bolt poetically.

"All ya have to do... is get at least a three star ranking in a game from each of us of our choosing... " whispered Tide.

"No wait! I've got a **_BETTER IDEA!_** Let's face him! We'll **_TELEPORT_** him back if he beats all of us at our own game! That will be **_AWESOME_**" hopped Pyro.

"Meh, okay, fine...", shrugged Leaf.

"I hate you stupid boards already..." muttered Olimar.

A few pikmin were suddenly killed by an explosion, followed by a large stage rising up from the ground. All four boards were on it. Tide was behind a DJ stand. Leaf was holding a bass guitar. Bolt held a saxophone and Pyro was dancing in front of the microphone. **_"ARE YOU READY TO ROOOOOOCK....?" _**bellowed Pyro.

"Dear Mamuta, no..." cried Olimar.

"_**GET ON UP HERE OLIMAR...!!!" **_

"No, I'm going home", Olimar released a Zubat who started doing all sorts of annoying things.

* * *

"It... It's just that... she won't even look at me anymore!" a teary eyed Shy Guy looked up at a very queasy looking Markus.

"Well, see what you've got to do is get a ton of beer and buy some really skimpy-"

"_**I think you should **_get some candles or something... ya, candles...", Lill threw her hand out on to Nola's mouth, hastily interrupting her for obvious reasons.

Nola threw the hand off her "Hmph, no one ever appreciates my ideas...." she pouted.

A little leaf haired figure dropped down from the ceiling ventilation. "Uh, hello? I heard some girl was giving relationship advice here?"

"I'll let one of you handle it this time..." Nola went to the back of the cage and sat on top of Markus who looked like he was going to be sick from all the lovey talk.

Kira walked up to the leaf-haired girl from the previous episode and sat on a little stool. "Aww, but you're so little. You look about eight years old, how could you be having relationship problems?"

The girl looked up at her "Well, I'm actually ninety-six, but yes, in consideration of my current development and mental control, I could be considered to be eight, but see, that's the problem! I'm too little for him. I think he knows I like him too. We met, well, my dad and I... kind of... attacked the ship he was in a couple days before Christmas because we thought he had this certain item... that my dad has been searching for for two years now and... I dunno... I just kind of fell in love when I saw him and this orange power suit robot thing." Hearts bubbled out of her head

Kira paused "Is this boy you're talking about... does he have a shirt with a peace sign on it and a little green pikmin that follows him around?"

Irani perked up and then the plant-girl spoke.

"You know Nick?!"

"Yeah, we're all apprentices under Smashers at the Smash Mansion!" shouted Lill.

"That little twerp has a girlfriend?!" Irani jumped.

Jack's head bobbed up "Woah, Irani. No need to get so sensitive over his love life. The guy hits on everyone, he was bound to impress someone at one point"

"But that just- It doesn't make any- He's so- Augh! Forget it!" Her hair got all frizzy and static started shooting out, but she pushed it back down.

"Whoa" said Ala-Gold.

"Psycho" agreed Bucken-Berry.

"HEY! NO ONE ASKED YOU!" she jumped up and pointed at the Toads.

"M'Kay, Psycho", replied Gold.

Irani gritted her teeth, jumped up in the air, and shot a lightning bolt at him.

"_**ZRRRZRRRZRKKRKZRKRZRKK!!!"**_ Gold passed out.

"Whoa", gasped Nola, "That was hardcore sister! I remember you talking about the power to control electricity, but I didn't think you were serious!" she jumped up and attempted to give the steaming Irani a high five, but awkwardly fell back down after nothing happened. She then turned to look at the plant-girl.

"Sup?"

The Plant-Girl's eyes went blank, then stared at Nola "AUGH!!! It's you! You're that girl I'm supposed to be here for! Oh no! What am I supposed to do?! My mind went blank! Who am I and what is my purpose in life?!?! AOOOOGH!!" she jumped out of the window.

"Um..." paused Nola. "So, anyone see any good movies lately?"

* * *

"_Oh... I'm a workin' man, I work all day! I work mm... bleh, and I work all day! I gots some pikmins and I... er... I... work all day! Oh yes I'm a workin' man! Hip Hip Hooray!... And also there was some soup that I made", _Nick sang. Then he paused "Y'know, I get the weirdest feeling that Irani just zapped a Toad over me"

The Sun was beginning to set and Nick was preparing stew for the group.

"Mhabye, that's bechause she's yelling habout it over there", Nagasha pointed to the building and one could hear Irani shouting in the distance.

"_SKREE!"_

"Ouch!"

"_Ay', she's over in that prison! Maybe we should rescue her"_, reasoned Jax. Nick translated.

"Oh no... Oh no, no, no... I don't wanna move anymore" Sarah laid face first on the ground "Let's just sleep here... for a year or two..." she snored.

"Has she been like that halways?" Nagasha asked.

"As long as I can remember", Skree jumped off of Nick's face and gently landed on Nagasha's head.

"Don't worry Nagasha! I'll get that thing off you, with my... _Kung Fu Skills!_" Nick posed, then hesitated and threw a piece of meat on the ground which Skree attacked.

Nagasha looked at it with her eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah, I'm so awesome, right? Ch... You should probably go out with me, but..."

Nagasha clawed his face and he fell over screeching in pain about his face or something like that.

"That child gets hall the screen time", Nagasha muttered and looked up to the sky.

One of the clouds gained Quizy's shape and looked back down at Nagasha and smiled. _"One of the benefits of being the author's OC, kids! A hurr hurr hurr hurr!!"_, Cloud Quizy laughed.

Nagasha looked back down and stared off into the distance, eyebrows still furrowed. "I need to lhay off the Chameleon mehat."

"Huh? Nagasha, what's that sound in the distance?" Sarah lifted her head up.

Nagasha listened, mildly curious. She heard shouting off nearby. She looked through a bush and saw a troupe of authors out in the distance carrying torches, pitch forks, and chainsaws.

The troupe reached Nick, Nagasha, and Sarah and stopped. The New Divide stepped forward, followed by Pikana, Moorage, MahNati, and a few others.

"Hey, have you seen Quizy somewhere around here? He's been slacking off in his updates!" Pikana shouted, brandishing Bazookie and cuddling with it menacingly.

Nagasha pointed up to the sky where Cloud Quizy started to panic._ "I'm working guys! Really!"_

"Get him!" shouted The New Divide, throwing Moorage and MahNati up at the sky as they pointed their weapons at him.

"_OH NO!!!"_ Quizy started running as fast as he could. All the readers who were reading _How to __SMASH: _chased after him...

_...Silence..._

"...I still hear something", Sarah got up off the ground and looked to the distance along with Nagasha. They peeked through the bush when suddenly, out of nowhere-

_**BOOM!!**_

"AAAACK!" They screamed as a menacing round object flew between the two of their heads.

"Mm?" Nick looked up as both of the girls dodged something. They flinched, then all looked down at what had tried to shoot them to see a huge, steel, smoking cannonball. They nervously turned back and looked through the hole in the bush again to see Wii blasting across a field inside a giant tank.

"Hi guys!" she shouted "I'm pretty sure that one of you kids has that Majora's Mask item we oh-so need, so if you could just-" she flipped up in the air and defied the laws of space and time to land one foot away from Sarah. _**"-GIVE IT BACK BEFORE I CHOP UP YOUR SOULS INTO TINY PIECES AND USE IT AS ICING ON MY BIRTHDAY CAAAAAKE!!!", **_she moaned turning to her evil form again.

"Uh... Majora's What?" asked Sarah.

"You know, that thing children wehar on Halloween on top of their fhaces for fun!" answered Nagasha.

"_**THE MASK, YOU FOOLS, THE MAAAAAASK..."**_

"What are you talking about?!" shouted Sarah.

_Thump, thump, thump, thump..._

"Oh dehar god", Nagasha stared out to see an army approaching of the Dark Smashers. All three apprentices paused as Ridley flew towards them on his metal wings, followed by the three shadow characters.

Wii slowly fell onto her pegs, turning back to her original form and ominously stated "Step on" while a faint ringing bell could be heard. After no one stepped on for a while, vines grew out from underneath her and grabbed Sarah, forcing her on. She then proceeded to make her do all sorts of difficult yoga poses that were obviously not part of the original Wii Fit.

"Ugh, Nagasha! Gr... If I'm stuttering Wolf's catchphrases, oof, then you must have some sort of connection to your ideal Smasher! Ack! You've got to help me!"

Nagasha knew it must be true as she had been feeling some sort of special connection for awhile now as well as a recent craving for bananas and concentrated on her ideal Trainer while Nick, and the two creatures started running around like morons.

Donkey Kong appeared in her thoughts. He was energetic, strong, and out of bananas. Donkey Kong's rage became clear as he began punching trees all around him. His rage became her rage as her fangs glistened in the sunset. She brought her arm back with an insane force and swung it forward into the robot.

"GIANT..._** PUNCH!!!"**_ she shouted, her eyes hardening to rock in order to save her new friend Sarah.

Her fist seemingly grew in size as it rocketed towards the white fitness robot. It quickly and fiercely came into abrupt contact with the pain sensors and the Balance Board was sent flying into the sky after it dropped Wolf's apprentice where it shot down Ridley who fell on top of Dark Toon Link.

**Aww... Quizy here. Anyways, Here comes the sad part...**

Dark Link and Fallen Pit quickly stopped to see the Dark Child being crushed by the Metal Dragon Pirate.

"Brothers! Help me!" he shouted, his blood red eyes appeared to be popping out of his head in a plead for help.

"You were always the weakest of us here", replied Dark Link.

"You don't deserve to be among us!" yelled Fallen Pit, spitting at the younger Dark Link's face.

"I HATE you! I'll slaughter you like swine when you're not looking!" shouted Dark Toon Link, tearing up a bit as the two older Dark Warriors dashed towards the three apprentices.

Fallen Pit smirked "You like him"

Dark Link scoffed "Compared to Dirt?"

"Mm... Maybe..." Fallen Pit arched his back like a cat and shook his one tattered black wing to take off as Dark Link called his Skeleton version of Epona to his side and followed on Horse Back while the field caught on fire in the chaos behind them.

"Oh great! Is if it weren't bad enough, now you're killing the trees! They didn't do anything to you!!!" shouted Nick, ordering Jax to burrow underground to evade the flames while Skree started hugging the back of his head in safety.

Fallen Pit forcefully landed directly behind Nick causing a cloud of dust to fly across the ground.

At this point in time Nick's face could easily be described with "Oh My God, I don't want to die..." as his frame hardened and he stared out in front of him.

Fallen Pit pushed the young metroid away and put his sword on Nick's neck. "Oh, so you're one of those Goody-two shoes whose concerned about the environment, eh? Well, if it concerns you that much, how about I give a little bit of organic matter back to the Earth", he grinned evilly, scraping the sword across Nick's neck causing a little blood to come out.

"_S-Skree..."_, pouted Skree pitifully.

"L-Look, bro, maybe we could work some sort of- _**BLEACK!**_ _Bleack, bleack, bleack!_"

"**I. AM. NOT. YOUR. BRO. OKAAAY?"**

"_Cough!_ Got it! _Ugh.._., bro, oh wait, oops.."

"OH, how I hate your happy-go-lucky attitude towards life", Fallen Pit screamed quietly in Nick's ear, causing his eyes to water a bit.

"B-But, this is the first time we've even met!"

"Oh, but no, Our Lord Olimar tells us so much of his awesome apprentice. He talks of how he can't even throw a pikmin, breaks down into tears after practice fights, _**how much of a tree-hugging pussy he is!**_", he stressed the last part.

"Just because I, erk, love all new life, argh, doesn't mean I'm a _**pansy!**_" Nick spat back at him.

"You disgust me, you can't even swear and you're just a child like my little cousin. You don't know anything about life."

"I KNOW MORE ABOUT LIFE THAN YOU THINK!!! I've always", Nick sniveled "I've compared myself with sprouts all of my life. I was hopeless and lost. Sprouts are like that, you can't tell what they will become until they're older. I'm a sprout. I haven't changed yet, but I have leaves", Nick started crying "I have leaves! I promise, I just haven't decided what I'm going to grow into yet!!! I promise!"

"Gee, and I thought I had problems. Here I have a dude comparing himself to a sprout", Fallen Pit looked down and saw a little sprout with a leaf on it. He looked up and saw Nick looking at the leaf affectionately. "Oh, so you like this sprout, do you?"

Fallen Pit's sandal came crashing down on the sprout and Nick flinched.

The normally happy forest that represented Nick's happy place snapped and giant, black vines with thorns began ravaging the forest. Nick's face grew dark and his teeth grew into fangs.

"GRRRAUGH!!!" Nick bit into Fallen Pit's arm, causing blood to poor onto the spot where the sprout had been. The Fallen One-Winged Angel screamed and released the nature-loving apprentice. Slowly, the tattered remains of the sprout grew into the giant, black thorned vine of his imagination and stabbed Fallen Pit straight through the chest where a dimensional void was created as the vine slipped out of his heart. Fallen Pit fell to the ground, surprise eminent in his glass eyes.

Nick looked down angrily, then collapsed, crying. "I'm not used to this violence, dammit. I thought I could warm up if I fought my way slowly, but a blow through the heart is too much! I didn't even know I could do that!!!" He sobbed.

Meanwhile, Sarah was being put into a headlock by Dark Link, while a dark purple fairy laughed in her ear. "Knock it off, Navi" scolded Dark Link and the fairy flew into his pockets.

Dark Link laughed at her as his black fangs dripped with shadows.

"Gah, you're asking for it!" Sarah punched Dark Link in the face.

"Little..."

"Sharhah!" Nagasha came running in, followed by the new pet metroid. She jumped and Skree hopped into her hands, which she flung at the Dark Warrior terrorizing Sarah, causing him to loosen his grip.

"ARGH! DAMN PARASITES!!!" he shouted as Skree latched to his face, slowly sapping his energy. Sarah took her chance and kicked him in the stomach. "URF!" he shouted, dropping her on the ground where she quickly recovered and got into a fighting stance.

"I'll have to take care of this myself", he pulled out a black Claw-Shot with red markings on it, equipping it on his right hand while Skree hopped off of him.

Sarah brandished her fingers into claws and let herself fly forward while her fist found its way into Dark Link's stomach similar to Wolf's forward smash.

"Can't I once get a break?" Dark Link pleaded, dropping his claw-shot.

Sarah picked it up and aimed it at Dark Link while the little Metroid flew away and Nagasha took its place.

"_**ALL RIGHT! THAT'S IT!!!"**_ bellowed Dark Link, shaking off Nagasha and sending a blast of dark energy at Sarah, knocking the claw-shot out of her hands.

Dark Link pulled a little red, glowing stone out of his tunic and started rolling it around in his hands. He slowly placed it against his chest and began to absorb it.

Sarah recalled her experiences with Legend of Zelda games and remembered the small orange stone that Link would use to transform into a twilight wolf. She noticed the similarities and alerted Nagasha. "I think he's going to transform into some sort of Twilight Beast with that stone!"

Nagasha looked at her with no emotion on her face and nodded.

"You're no fun", muttered Dark Link, his red eyes seemed to be growing larger, and his smile growing into that of a monster's. "I was hoping I... _could... __**surpriiiiise youuuuuu!**_"

Fur broke out all over his body. It was black and wildly shaking. His arms grew to long, segmented poles, pointed at the end while blood red eyeballs popped up all over his face. Two more pairs of hulkish, segmented arms sprouted out of his torso while his legs transformed into the same thing. Spikes ripped out of his back and his spine hunched over into the shape of a dark tear drop. His face grew hairy and grotesque while pedipalps and fangs sprouted out of his mouth. His whole body shook and he grew to eight and a half feet tall.

Nagasha and Sarah stared at the new creature. Nagasha finally broke the silence "Oh, grehat! It's not ha wolf, or even ha bohar, but ha _GIHANT SPIDER, FOR PETE'S SHAKE!!!" _

Dark Link chuckled _"Heh heh heh, a __**wolf **__spider, to be exact! …........."_, the rest wasn't understandable as the transformation was completed and he slammed one of his legs into the Earth, creating an earthquake that almost threw the girls off balance.

The Twilight Spider chuckled and began to spark with dark energy. It lunged at Sarah and she instantly grabbed the claw-shot and fired it into beast's face. She got pulled forward and Dark Link screamed, throwing his head back in pain causing her to land on his head. She held on to the claw-shot for dear life while Dark Link tried desperately to shake her off and get the claw-shot out of his eye.

"**SHARHAH!!!"** shouted Nagasha. She grabbed her hair as she saw her riding the giant evil spider. She looked around desperately, but she realized she was all out of tricks to pull. Skree was tired out. Nick was busy with Fallen Pit; his pikmin was nowhere in sight. All of the surroundings were on fire. Jumping on Dark Link and clawing at him like she would usually do would get her killed. "That's it...", she thought. "We're doomed". Not even her dogs could comfort her now. She had lost her dogs in her home world, but that's when she remembered earlier.

"_How hare you so good with these hanimals hand phlants? I'm the only person I know who chan get ha rhandom hanimal to cuddle with them", asked Nagasha, stroking the dog. _

"_OH! I chan get hany rhandom hanimhal to do what I shay! With hall these dhangerous hanimhals running haround, I'm sure I'll be hable to chall one to help!"_, she thought. _"I'm sure Olimhar keeps some sort of behasts for security... Well,", _she paused_ "Here goes nothing, it's hall I've got!!!" _

She took a few steps back, took one last glance at Sarah for motivation, and whistled as hard as she could. A special whistle that was so high and fast paced it would cause any animal that heard it to become extremely enraged. It was a traditional ability on her world. Not that many people used it though, due to various reasons.

_**TWEEEEEEEET!**_

Nothing happened. Nagasha was scared, but her mind instantly went from fear to anxiety. The ground started rumbling. Something Nick would have easily identified as a Burrowing Snagret was sleeping underneath them. It was a terrible hybrid bird snake that Olimar had captured for safe-keeping.

_**Rumbleeeeeeeeeeee...**_

She instantly regretted it as the ground started to shake. Dark Link threw Sarah off of him and spattered some unintelligible gurgling at her before slowly advancing. Sarah gripped the claw-shot close to her, hoping it would provide her with some sort of salvation. Then, they felt the ground beginning to shake underneath them.

Something was digging. Something Big. And it was coming up fast.

Nagasha felt it coming and quickly jumped out of the way, rolling over to a rock as she hit the ground.

Out of the ground, slowly burst the head of a white feathered bird head with a long, black-tipped beak. It forcefully tugged itself free to reveal a long, scaly blue snake body reaching up to twelve feet high. It gave a fearsome attack-cry as all three heads dropped their jaws at the sight of it.

One of those jaws, however didn't get to close itself, as the snagret bombarded down on top of the grotesque twilight spider, who shrieked in surprise.

"Oh, thank god! Hopefully there won't be any more surprises!" shouted Sarah as Dark Link lay on his back and cringed weakly while the snagret burrowed away.

Then, Dark Toon Link arrived followed by a team of Dry Bones. "Oh... Dangit!" he shouted, throwing his sword on the ground "Of course this would have happened! If only they had taken me with them!" he considered not healing his fellow Darks, but decided against it. "Uh, look guys, we need to go back and get a bottle of Game and Watch blood. We need his shadow bugs to heal these wounds. We're going to need them", he looked at the near-dead spider and glass-eyed angel a distance away and grimaced, but quickly stole a glance at Sarah and Nagasha and glared before pressing his own red gem to his chest, transforming into a Dark Wolf Spider himself as well and skittered back to the Dark Smashers Head Quarters while the Dry Bones Squad followed.

"Oh dear goodness, let's please get out of here before anything else happens!" Sarah shouted to Nagasha, picking up the claw-shot and jumping down a hill towards Nick. Nagasha followed.

Sarah slid down next to Nick and patted him on the shoulder hastily. "Come on, Nickie! We've got to get out of here!"

"I-I... I've never hurt someone before! I ran over a raccoon in driver's ed. once and I cried for half an hour!"

"He's crying?! Hurry Sharhah! I don't whant to run into hanother-"

"Too late!"

The girls turned their head to the small, yet menacing new figure behind them.

Nagasha simply lowered her eyes.

"Now I know how Dark Link feels", growled Sarah under her breath.

Nick pushed his face into the ground, moaning as tears watered the Earth.

* * *

"Oh..." Kira looked out the window in her cell, seeing the giant fire and Nick, Sarah, and Nagasha fighting off enemies. "I hope I didn't do anything to set those guys off"

"Maybe it was because you shouted at them and told them to get out of the pit directly behind this building and come and help us", Irani looked at her accusingly.

"Yeah, that's definitely a factor, I'd say", Nola looked around, then lit up her last cigarette, smoking it for all it was worth.

Jack stood up "Look guys, we can't sit around here any longer! We have to go help them!" he shouted pointing at the distressed apprentices.

"I don't get why you don't just utilize the dimensional disturbances working around here to use the abilities of your trainers to bust out of this place?" asked Ala-Gold.

"What?" nearly everyone asked.

"Oh, did we not tell you that due to vast dimensional warping, you all now have a small mental connection to your trainers and you can use their powers?" Bucken-Berry smiled uneasily.

"_**NO!"**_ everyone shouted back.

"You're as useful as a bucket of popcorn inside of an giant clam's brain", Markus commented wisely, some sort of meaning behind his phrase eminent.

"Alright", Jack walked over to the bars of the cage opposite from the window while Nola, Irani, and Markus followed him. Kira, Lill, and the toads sat and watched "You all ready to do this?"

"_Oh! Zank goodneess, I vinally vound all ov vu! Where eez Meester Neek?" _

Cheerio, the green pikmin, popped out of nowhere in particular and started talking to his new best friend, Markus.

"Cheerio! It's you! Nick's not here, we're about to bust out of these cages!"

"You know, I just now realized I had a chainsaw with me this whole time", Nola frowned, picking up her chainsaw.

"_Hmm..." _Cheerio examined the bars_ "I doubt zis woman's saw vould be able to cut zis bars. Zey're made out of a spezial metal. Probably from zome Nintendo universe". _Cheerio thought for a second _"I know! Ve Green Peekmin 'ave zee element of Radiation. We 'ave zee power to turn eenvisible, speet acid, and an immunity to harmful rays! I can speet acid on zis bars in unision vith your abilities to melt zee bars! I believe eet will vork Meester Markuz!"_

Markus looked at the group. "He's going to spit some acid on one side of the cage while we hit the other side. Then, I guess we're going to help out the other guys"

"Finally! A plan!" Jack shouted, slowly calming down. Coming to a state of inner peace, uniting with Captain Falcon to gain the power of the almighty Falcon Punch.

Markus united with Lucas to gain the power of PK Love.

Nola united with Snake to gain the power of advanced weaponry.

And Irani united with Falco to gain the shooting skill of a master pilot.

And like that, a Burst of Fire, Psychic energy, Grinding of a chainsaw, a Bolt of lightining, and a bubble of acid combined on the bars of the cage to form a Smash Symbol. (Hm...)

The bars cracked and fell off the cage, causing the whole thing to collapse.

"FREEDOM!" shouted Nola, jumping headfirst into the ground.

"Now let's go kick some ass", shouted Jack.

* * *

"My name is Dark Kirby, As you must have guessed, I am the Dark Version of Light Kirby" The Shadowy puffball explained to the three apprentices.

"We've got to get out of here", whispered Sarah. "We need to distract him somehow. Maybe we could use Skree"

"_Heck no! I'm not your tool anymore, So far, I've gotten cuts and bruises in multiple places. I think I swallowed my own acid, and one of my teeth's broken!"_ Skree shouted.

"Don't look at me, I only speak plant", Nick replied to the two girl's stares.

"Power of the shiny!" Sarah shouted, throwing a golden watch at Dark Kirby.

"What was that?" Dark Kirby didn't even flinch as the watch landed right in front of him.

"Curse my bad aim! Oh, forget this", Sarah pulled out her new Claw Shot and shot Dark Kirby in the face, but instead of pushing him away, it did the obvious foreseeable, yet unwanted effect and pulled Dark Kirby even closer.

"Why, hello", a single bead of sweat popped up on Sarah's face as she said this, smiling nervously.

Dark Kirby didn't hesitate and rose his foot into the air and brought it crashing down on Sarah's leg.

"AAAAAAACK!!!" she screamed.

"How dhare you!!!" shouted Nagasha, jumping in front of Sarah, pushing him away.

"And now we have made things interesting", smiled Dark Kirby.

**"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK KIRBYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!"** shouted a voice from the sky.

"What... whas that?" asked Nagasha.

A familiar dark puffball landed from the sky on a dark warpstar. "Hey, brother", greeted Dark Kirby jr. menacingly.

"Ah, little Dark jr. How did you get here?"

"Hitched a ride", muttered Dark, pointing at Mr. Game and Watch who hopped next to him and emitted a short beep.

"Cut the crap, Game and Watch. I've known that you could talk since the day I met you", insulted Dark Kirby.

"Jerk", replied Game and Watch "Bring it on, you pink puffball rip-off!"

"Okay, shadow stickman!"

A mace and 2-D chair collided. The chair broke and Game and Watch swore. This time he pulled out a metal rod lit on fire and threw a few pieces of scalding meat at the Dark Warrior before lunging at him.

"Come on", urged Dark to Nick, Sarah, and Nagasha. "We've got to regroup with the others here. Game and Watch won't be able to hold off my brother for long!"

Sarah and Nagasha were hesitant to the new stranger, but Nick snapped back to his normal self and assured them it would be fine.

"Hey guys, I know a place where we'll be safe, but we need to get out of here, quick", Nick's eyes sparkled with a sort of cleverness to them.

"Where?" asked Dark.

Nick hesitated "...My mama's house. Don't worry though, trust me!" Nick smiled, before running off into the woods.

* * *

Nola busted out her chainsaw and sawed off the head of a Dry Bones. "YEAH! YOU LIKE THAT YOU LITTLE UNDEAD TURTLE?! YOU LIKE THAT?!"

Markus came over and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Whoa, calm down lady."

Nola turned on him suddenly " I haven't been able to seduce a man ever since I arrived at this blasted universe! I haven't smoked ANY er... stuff! I haven't been able to get drunk until I'm passed out on the floor! NOTHING! And I am going to get out of this god-forsaken building! AND I AM GOING TO HAVE SOME GOOD.. OL'.. CLASSIC.. AMERICAN.. FUN!!! IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!!!" she shouted to the sky, crushing the Dry Bones head in her palm.

Markus sighed in relief. "Oh, that's good. For a moment there, I thought I should have been worried!" he skipped off cheerfully.

"**MUAHAHAHAHA!!! I THIRST FOR ADRENALINE! YOU WILL BE MINE!!!"** cackled Nola who ran off spinning her chainsaw around like a maniac.

Kira looked down at the ground. "I don't even know what's going on anymore..."

Jack jumped up after Nola. "Come on ya lazy bums! Let's get movin'!" he charged off after her.

"I'M COMING!!!" shouted Markus following as well.

Kira, Lill, and Irani looked at each other before Irani led them all after the maniacs. "I can't believe I'm not getting paid for this...", growled Irani.

* * *

The now group of four trekked through the forest, nervously trusting Nick's judgment in direction and that Dark knew what he meant when Game and Watch couldn't be taken down so easily. Hippy, Pikmin, Metroid, Star Warrior, Human, and Furry all walked side by side, hopping over large cracks running through the Earth's crust and worked together to put out fires which Nick refused to carry on unless they were put out. Nagasha tenderly carried Sarah in her arms who had peacefully fallen asleep due to her broken ankle. Nick walked forward with a mix of pride and exhaustion while Jax and Skree lied on his shoulders. Dark prominently took his rightful spot on the fluffy, soft seat with a higher elevation also known as Nick's head as the two creatures inched away from his dark aura.

Sarah made a faint buzzing sound as her mouth slowly slid open. Nagasha quickly closed it causing Sarah to gently wake up. She smiled.

"Thanks, Nagasha", her face turned red in embarrassment. "But I think I'd better walk", she tried to get down, but flinched when she moved her foot.

Nagasha chuckled. "Ah ah ah! You chan't whalk and either I'm charrying you...", Nagasha looked down at Sarah. "Or he is!" Nagasha motioned towards Nick who didn't have to do anything for him to be eliminated as a choice.

Sarah's eyes widened. "Okay! Okay! You carry me!"

"So... how did that make you feel... you know, when your brother wouldn't play with you as a child?" asked Nick, looking up at Dark thoughtfully.

Dark looked away grouchily. "Look, when are we going to get to your... Mama's house?"

"Oh, soon I guess, but first!" Nick turned suddenly, startling the two girls. "_We must pass the THREE CHALLENGES..._" he waved his fingers around, magically.

"Three challenges?" asked everyone.

Nick shrugged his shoulders. "Meh, my mama got worried because of all the death threats from the PETA...", he got down onto all fours and the three small creatures hopped off as he started scurrying around, sniffing at things randomly.

"What...?"

"PETA...?"

"Found it!" Nick chimed to everyone. Nick was pointing at a small rock in front of a giant bush. He rummaged through his pocket. "Er... I think I lost my house key...", he looked at everyone, biting his lip nervously.

"Out of my way. I'll take care of this", Dark took out his mace which caught on fire with Dark Flames. Dark blinked, looking at it. "...That's new..." He trudged forward, holding it behind him and smacked the huge shrub, burning it to the ground, revealing a secret maze made out of shrubs.

"Well, that was much easi-Ow...", Sarah moaned, accidentally moving her foot causing Nagasha to sweat a bit again.

Meanwhile...

* * *

In a very dark room where nothing was distinguishable save for a small spot of light that managed to illuminate half of a woman's body. She was standing with her back away from the light, staring at a desk filled with thousands of whirring computers while she calmly stirred some sort of substance inside a plastic bowl. Two flowers rushed into the light suddenly, using their roots as legs. However, this wasn't the easiest thing to do so they ended up stumbling onto their faces pitifully.

"Master!" shouted a rose. "We've received word of a breach in the Garden Maze!" it saluted, accidentally knocking over its Lilly comrade.

"Hey! Watch it!"

"Well maybe you should learn to keep better balance!"

"Well maybe you should learn not to smack other people in the face!"

"Well maybe you should not be such a doofus!"

"Well maybe-"

"Well maybe-"

"WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD BOTE SHUT UP!!!" shouted the woman throwing the plastic bowl at them, two small balls of light appearing where her eyes should be, similar to fire.

"Ack! You got cake batter all over us!"

"You being stupid again. I don't need my son's workers acting stupid when he gets back from dat Smash Bros Thing..."

"Sorry Master! It won't happen again!" bowed the flowers, walking away into the darkness.

"WAIT!!!"

They both tripped and then pushed themselves up so they could turn around.

"First, we mast release the Guard Dekus..."

"Yes Mam!"

The light reflected off the woman's smile. "Wonderful!"

* * *

"Run, Nagasha! Run! I have too many shinies back home for me to die!!!" Sarah stuck her head into the air shouting while Nagasha attempted to evade being hit by the violent Deku nut storm and skillfully working her way through the maze.

Dark Kirby jr. ran in front of the two girls and whistled to his Warpstar, causing it to hover gently in front of them while keeping up with their pace. Dark jumped on and turned around to inhale an incoming Deku nut and spit out a barrage of tiny explosions in return, diminishing the first layer of mad Dekus chasing them. "Hop on", he called to the girls.

Nagasha grunted and leaped on to the star as Skree flew up to join them. All four hovered up to a higher level safe from the Deku storm.

Nick looked up at the star pitifully while running for his life as the Deku mob closed in on him. "Okay guys!" he started sweating madly. "You're gonna come get me now right?" he pleaded.

"Sorry", Dark called. "There's no more room". He flew away as Nick's face started to resemble that of a zombie's whose jaw had just fallen off.

Out from behind a corner of the hedge maze appeared a large gray hamster-pig-minotaur looking creature who roared fiercely and charged for Nick.

"Oh my-!"

The creature tackled him into the Deku mob and he slowly began to lose sight of the sky, reaching his hand out into the air in the hopes of being rescued as he slowly sank into the Mad crowd. "CURSE YOU DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK!!!!"

* * *

"OH MY GOD! It's a dead fish!!!" a green star warrior shouted excitedly, pointing towards a dead fish on a counter.

The woman from before turned around, still enshrouded in darkness. "Er... yes. That is a dish I was preparing. Mama has to keep practice, you know?"

"A dead fish?!" shouted a girl with white wings with black tipped feathers. "Gimme, gimme!"

"Wait! Wait! It hasn't been cooked properly!"

"Too bad!" An extremely tough looking boy with short blonde hair snatched the fish, eating it promptly.

"Aw!" cried the winged girl.

"Shinjuku! Rinku! Quit mezzing around!"

"Sorry", apologized the winged girl and the tough boy.

Shinjuku walked up next to the woman. "Why are you standing in the shadows like that so we can't see your face?"

The woman looked at her. "Wat? Wat are you talking about? I was just standing in random spot!"

"No... I think... I think... um...", the green star warrior trailed off.

"Um... I think Danod is trying to say that... um... well... Jeese?" a fragile looking girl with two long black ponytails with silver highlights started.

An emo looking guy with blonde hair and green eyes looked up. "Poor Zen, social skills aren't your thing, are they?" Jeese chuckled. "The little puffy's trying to say you're acting awful suspicious, as if you're hiding something by hiding in those shadows like that!"

Zen nodded a thank you gesture.

"Attaaaaaack!" shouted Danod, jumping on the woman's head and driving her into the light.

Cooking Mama (If you hadn't guessed) stumbled out into the light and shook the green thing off of her head. She dusted off her apron and raised an eyebrow accusingly.

"Well? Wat are you looking at? Mama is busy!" she sighed and went back into the shadows to the front of the monitor.

* * *

"I think we lost them!" shouted Sarah over the blast of wind.

"Hey you guys!"

"But first I think we need a plhace to lhand", shouted Nagasha.

"You don't have to shout in my ear you know...", muttered Dark.

"HEY! GUYS! I'm down here!"

"What whas that?!" shouted Nagasha.

"I said you don't have to shout in my ear!" shouted Dark.

"No, not that! I think someone's calling us!" called Sarah.

"_**Hey, you left me to get beaten up by a minotaur thing, the least you could do is not ignore me!!!"**_ shouted Nick from down below.

"Oh, look, there's that guy", growled Dark.

Nick was laying on the ground. He was covered in a full body cast and he was hooked up to an IV system. A few flowers were tending to his needs and Jax was patting him on the head. He was on a soft patch of grass behind a large house looking facility.

"I think I'll die now, but don't worry, I'll come back to life later", he fell asleep.

The group landed next to him and all got off the Warpstar.

Nagasha carried Sarah over next to Nick and set her down.

"I guess I'll... die too. Doesn't sound like that bad of an idea. Just make sure I... wake up...", she passed out next to Nick who started smiling. Then, Sarah rolled over the other way and he started frowning.

The flower people walked over to her and Nagasha sighed. "She has a broken hankle. Mhake sure she hehals soon".

They nodded and whispered something to each other. One of them did a thumbs up sign and went inside the house.

Dark walked over to a garden and sniffed it, carefully. Suddenly, he sneezed and exhaled fire all over the garden, causing all the flowers and crops inside of it to become shriveled and black.

Dark took a step back and grunted, wiping his nose. "Ugh... Petunias... Disgusting and vile. Why would anyone want to spend their time growing such weak things, but... more importantly, where are we?"

"FRIENDLY FRIENDS!!! MAYBE THEY'LL GIVE ME CANDY!!!" barked Shinjuku, barreling out of the house and tackling Dark.

Dark belched and attempted to hold back his barf as the winged girl laid on top of his little body. "Get... off!" he shouted, pushing her off. "What makes you think I would have candy?!?" he growled.

"AAAAAACK! SCARY GUMBALL!!! GO AWAY!!" she flew off, back inside the house.

"A-and... the he told me to g-get off! And t-then, _HE DIDN'T HAVE CANDY!!!_"

Cooking Mama groaned, coming out of the house as she took out a chocolate bar and fed it to Shinjuku.

"YAAAAAAY!!! CANDY!!!!!" she flew to the top of the roof and started munching on the candy bar.

Cooking Mama turned to Dark and Nagasha, smiling nervously and scratching the back of her head.

"I apologize about de trouble. I assume you were PETA members attempting to break in my house! I really do apologize, I hope you all forgive Mama", she smiled politely, giving a short bow in respect.

Nagasha looked at her critically, then finally sighed. "Halright, mham. It's fine."

"Yeah...", Dark grumbled.

Cooking Mama sweat dropped and turned so that she could look at something else.

"Hi, Mama, can my friends and I stay here for a couple days?" asked Nick, squinting his eyes.

_**DUN!**_

An exclamation point appeared above Cooking Mama's head.

_"HIIIIIIYA!!!"_ she shouted, leaping into the air and drawing up a knife.

"What the crap?!?!" shouted everyone...

Earth dweller and Parallel Universe resident alike stared in amazement as the little orange pikmin glared at Cooking Mama as her knife collided with his long, dirty claws. He pushed her away, but she threw a sizzling steak into his face causing him to screech in a lizardish sounding language. His stem turned bright yellow as he quivered in anger, then suddenly turned back to normal.

Shinjuku was hiding behind Nick and Sarah's half-asleep bodies while Nagasha and Dark evaluated the scene, unsure of what to do.

Cooking Mama took out a spatula and started spinning around until she caught Jax, flipping him up into the air, then smacking him against the wall.

"What you think you are doing cutting my son's life support system?!" she shouted.

"Mama! It's okay, that's my pikmin! He's fine!"

Jax's eyes widened in fear as he began sweating. "I-I dunno what you're talkin' about! I'm just a plain old pokemon!"

Mama's eyes glared at the pikmin. "What are you again?"

"Did he just... thalk?" asked Nagasha.

Jax glowered at Mama and then he grinned. "Bwahaha! You found me out! Papa's going to be angry though, he wanted me to at least hurt someone!" Jax's doppelganger started shooting fire out of his mouth, which hit Mama in the face, causing her to drop him. Then, the doppelganger turned into a shadowy blob, but not before Mama took out a frying pan, scooping him up.

The blob started shaking in terror, slowly turning into a pile of yellow scales, then slowly working its way into the shape of a small Koopa.

Bowser jr.'s huge koopa eyes looked up at Cooking Mama and slowly started to water. "BWAAAAAH!!! Please don't eat me!! I have to get back to my Papa before dark! He gets worried you know!!" he cried.

"Oh, why would I eat you when we can use you for so much more?" Mama's eyes glinted and she slid her tongue along the knife.

"Uh... Mama?" Nick piped.

"Yes?"

"Can I go get herbs for when we cook him?"

Mama's eyes turned into flames as she whacked Nick with the frying pan. "WE'RE NOT EATING HIM!!!"

"Ow!"

* * *

All four wii balance boards stood quivering behind fallen trees as smoke steamed up from random, burnt places. Olimar gripped his gun tightly and the Zubat was having a seizure on the ground due to its own super sonic waves. Olimar kicked it and it stopped moving.

"Okay! Okay! We'll take you wherever you want! Just don't hurt us!"

"Yes, please don't hurt us!"

"Much better...", smiled Olimar. "..._**NOW TAKE ME BACK TO MY HEADQUARTES!!!**_" he boomed at the boards. The green one who had said his name was Leaf earlier stepped forward.

"Okay..., it's that one giant, decrepit building next to the city, yet still on the edge of the forest? I'll take you..."

"Then shut up and get moving", growled the space delivery man.

"Could you?... not.. be.... so......... mean?" Leaf attempted to ask, but as the captain's glare darkened more and more as the balance board attempted to speak, his courage slowly diminished.

"I'M SORRY!!!!" he shouted, running off a distance, then stopping to let Olimar catch up.

"So Olimar?" asked the red balance board who's name Olimar couldn't remember after they had walked a good distance back to the Dark Smashers Headquarters.

"What's your name again?"

"I was wondering... what made you become evil?"

"That's none of your business"

Leaf, the green board, cowered up to the red one. "P-please, Pyro... don't make him mad..."

"Don't worry, I won't", replied Pyro. "So... I heard you got some apprentices up at the Smash Mansion recently? How's that going?"

"Well... we're attempting to find Majora's Mask now so that we can force it on to one of them and use them as a puppet for a bigger purpose".

"You mean you lost it?"

"Recently, yes, I sent my subordinates to find it, then I fell out the window and into the forest".

All the wii boards snickered. Luckily for them, Olimar was busy wiping a smudge off his helmet, so he didn't hear.

"Oh... so how's Master Hand going to react to you stealing one of his apprentices for your own nefarious desires?"

"That hand no longer has control over me and I have a plan as well"

"Oh??? A plan?" Pyro continued on. None of the other boards had the guts to speak to Olimar.

"Yes, seeing as I can't set foot in Smash Mansion after someone reports all this, Master Hand will have me on his death list, so I've asked Ganondorf to create a specific spell..."

"A spell, you say?"

"This spell will allow me to... well, I'll be able to go back to the Smash Mansion without being confronted, that's for sure"

"Olimar, you sly dog"

"Don't..."

"Sorry"

"I've asked Ganondorf to do a memory implant spell, so that all the apprentices recall some random memory where everything goes just fine and dandy and they don't find out that the tiny space delivery man is evil and blah blah blah..."

"Sounds complicated"

"Yeah... maybe I should have just hired that witch, Ashley, after all"

"Um... Olimar, we're here...", informed Leaf.

The rugged, old building moaned as the wind blew through it upon Olimar's return.

"Perfect... Let's go inside, shall we?"

A faint scream sounded from inside the building and Olimar rushed inside, his newly donned cape swinging behind him.

He entered the first door he saw just in time to witness Fallen Pit laying on an operating board cut open in various spots as shadow bugs crawled inside, reanimating him along with a giant grotesque wolf spider on the ground next to him.

Olimar groaned and pushed his face into his hand while Dark Toon Link who had been forced into a skimpy nurse's outfit grudgingly began administering shots into both patients. He looked at Olimar showing a face so filled with rage and disgust while the other Dark Smashers laughed that not even a mother could love it.

"Get out of that outfit, boy", Olimar ordered, making a hitting gesture. "And just what happened down here?"

Dark Toon Link ran out of the room shouting various colorful words and making all sorts of rude gestures. An explosion could be heard in the other room and a few seconds went by. Then, Dark Toon Link returned in his usual tunic, grumbling things that would cause kittens to die if they heard it.

Claus then floated up from the counter on which he was sitting, then landed in front of Olimar, saluting his lord.

"Sir, The captives escaped while we were searching for Majora's Mask. We believe they may have stolen it and they have taken refuge in the city. A separate group of Dark Smashers confronted the other two that had escaped"

"My apprentice and that one girl"

"Yes, apparently, there was a third as well. They also managed to fight off Wii, Fallen Pit, Dark Link, and even our newest recruit, Dark Kirby".

Olimar glowed a fiery red, then plucked a purple pikmin and punched a hole through its stomach. _**"WHAT?!**_ _**That's just three kids! How could they do such damage?!" **_

Dark Kirby walked out of the shadows covered in dried dark blood with his hands wrapped in bandages behind his back. "The only reason they managed to defeat me is because my little brother found out what was going on and managed to convince Game and Watch to see the light. He distracted me and all of them managed to run away into the forest although I did manage to capture Game and Watch. He's in the interrogation room. Not only that, but I think two of them managed to pull off Final Smashes."

_**"FINAL SMASHES?! HOW CAN THEY DO THAT WHEN THEY'RE ONLY KIDS AND**_ _**HOW DID YOUR BROTHER FIND OUT?!?! IF HE HADN'T CONVINCED GAME AND WATCH TO BECOME GOOD THEN NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!!!"**_

Dark Kirby sighed with his eyes closed, then looked towards Olimar. "As for the Final Smashes, I know no more than you, but as for my brother finding out... It was most likely the Star Connection"

"The Star Connection?" Olimar asked, confused.

"Here, you should come with me and I'll explain", Dark Kirby offered holding out his hand towards the opposite room, sweating nervously.

"No, not yet. You're hiding something. What is it?"

"Um..." paused Dark Toon Link, Claus, and Dark Kirby, their faces turned ghost white.

"WE DIDN'T SNEAK INTO YOUR ROOM AND FIND ANYTHING!!!!!!! PLEASE DON'T MAUL US AND FEED US TO THE BULBORBS!!!!" they all ran around crazily, scattering to various rooms.

"_**WHAT DID YOU DO, YOU STUPID, WORTHLESS, DISGUSTING ABOMINATIONS!?!?!? WHAT... DID... YOU... FIND?!?!"**_ Olimar shouted, chasing after them.

In the real world, on the planet Earth, in the country known as the friggin United States of America, way out in the country, in a building on the edge of a small town, on the top floor, in Olimar's office, next to the broken window, in a mahogany desk, in the middle left drawer, in a tiny box that had just that day been broken into and defiled... was a tattered love note of Olimar confessing his undying love to Bounty Hunter, Samus Aran, by using the most godawful poetry that man has ever known.

_**"YOU READ MY WHAAAT?!?!"**_

_**

* * *

**_

**Oh yeah, who's Da Quiz Master? *Does a shuffle of joy***

**Oh, and perhaps you noticed the lack of a SMASH APPRENTICE and then a paragraph that no one cares about. Hence the title- things get Serious. I'll talk about it more at the end.**

**1. As of now, Team Teeth is made up of Nagasha, Nick, and Sarah. Nick is actually the oldest as he turned sixteen last February, so he is the unofficial leader. This is why the girls have to ask him if they can keep Skree.**

**2. I'm afraid Nagasha and Sarah might be a bit OOC. Nagasha is a bit cold, while Sarah is normally shy.**

**3. Markus says weird things sometimes...**

**4. Now that there are at least twelve apprentices, Master Hand has started construction on Smash Mansion. Crazy Hand is currently pouting because he doesn't get to play with his moon sand.**

**5. My god, Zubats were the bane of my existence in Pokemon games. In fact, I remember one time when I was play my Gameboy Advance SP (Remember that bad boy?) and I was battling a golbat. THE THING... MANAGES TO KO MY FULL HEALTH LVL 60 VENUSAUR BECAUSE I'M POISONED, I CAN'T ATTACK BECAUSE I'M CONFUSED, AND IT KEEPS HEALING ITSELF WITH LEECH LIFE!!!!!!! I ended up getting so pissed off that I snapped the thing in half. Was not mu greatest idea...**

**6. Great... More unnecessary OCS**

**7. I'll remind you again I'm not pitiful enough to make someone up to pair with Nick. Little Leafy will be left in the rain. It's a humor thing, not a romance.**

**8. Yea, Irani has lightning powers and Nick was a pacifist.**

**9. PETA= People's ethnic treatment of Animals or something like that, I dunno. Another stupid government group of Fat Cats to me.**

**10. I hope I did the Japanese accent right... Oh, and personally, I think Cooking Mama's psycho.**

**11. Two things to remember about Shinjuku: She loves candy and is scared easily**

**12. Wii's bros remind me of Alvin and the Chipmunks**

**13. Gasp, Foreshadowing**

**(Almost done... just finish the author's notes and I can go to bed. Hang in there, Quizeh. We're almost there.)**

**14. Dark Toon Link is everyone's chew toy. Get used to him being picked on.**

**15. Get used to Olimar's constant shouting too. He does that a lot nowadays. **

**16. Yes... the Star Connection. Personally, I was just makin' up some random crap... You know, most of the time I don't have any idea what the hell I'm doing while I right. (WHOA, WHOA, Chill Quizeh, here, take five). Okaaay, so enjoy that little joke at the end of Olimar writing terrible poetry to Samus... maybe I'll write a series of one-shots about the Smashers' most regrettable love days... Coming up with something to end the chapter with was hard!**

**FINALLY! On to business! Basically everything I wrote in the first chapter about joining and the DNA and the powers and the plot line has been carelessly tossed out of the window. I'm adopting a NEW style! New rules! Less professional and less n00bish! Works out perfectly with the first ten (yes, it's been ten chapters!) as sort of a prologue. From no on, it will be first person point of view, switching between Olimar's and... a person to be reviewed next chapter! **

**REVIEW UP, KIDDIES!!!**


	11. Please don't kill me

At the metaphorical Author HQ, which for Quizy was a giant red skyscraper with two yellow stripes and flying purple anteaters, a giant grass snake looking pokemon from the fifth generation slithered up next to the building. On top of it, rode Quizy wearing beach shorts and sunglasses. He cheerfully swatted away a beach ball with his tail and hopped off the new grass starter.

"Thanks Tsutaaja, keep this up, and you'll get a role in the story in no time!" He smiled at the overgrown Taxi-Slave and Tsutaaja barked happily, then slithered away.

Quizy walked up to the Author HQ building door which had a pair of happy looking Robotic Operating Buddies waiting to open the door for him. Quizy walked through as they cheerfully opened the door for him while staring at him behind masks that had smiley faces painted on them. He thanked them both and they eagerly closed the door behind him.

The one on the right's eyes glowed an eery red light and the smiley face mask grew a bit scary. "_**MUAHAHAH...**_ _Now I can rip those ungrateful authors' limbs apart and feed on them in my powerful vengeance!_ _**MUAHAHAHA!**_" it cackled.

The other robot looked down pitifully and groaned. "I hate my life..."

As Quizy happily walked up the stairs to his room (because he thought the elevators were controlled by the government and they would drop him to the afterlife as soon as he got on), he began talking to himself.

"Oh boy, it's so great to be back!" he laughed. "The last six weeks of school were a frigging nightmare. I'm so happy now that I'm done with all that jank and that I can get back to writing. I hope Quizeh did a good job coming up with plot ideas while I was gone... How long has it been since I last updated? I hope it wasn't more than three months... God, everyone's going to think I'm dead again..." he quivered at the thought of facing everyone's wrath at posting another I'm-too-lazy-to-update-monthly-I'm-so-pitiful-now-go-make-me-a-sandwich-as-I-rape-your-family-and-spend-your-life's-savings-on-gingerbread-cookies-type filler chapter.

"Oh, here's my room. Why does it keep changing floors, though? I can never find it..." Quizy unlocked his room door, number forty-two, but before he could open the door, a shadow wisp flung the door open.

"_**We're out of gingerbread",**_ it stated simply.

Quizy sighed and held up his necklace with a peace sign on it, causing the shadow to be absorbed back into its original owner. "Quizeh, you eat like 500 gingerbread men a day. Where am I going to get the money for all that?"

"**Nyeeeeeeh", **replied Quizeh, walking into the trash-filled room.

"QUIZEH, WHA'D YOU DO TO MAH ROOM?"

"**Well, I do enjoy to kill my prey before I eat it"**

"You were chasing turkeys around again? No, never mind. I don't want to know. Please just tell me you at least got a little bit of stories done..."

"**I DID start writing a horror story about an ice cream stand... I got about one third of a page done and you were in it"**

"Did I die?"

"**Yeah"**

"Of course I did. Well, I hope you enjoyed the stories I subscribed to. You wrote good, constructive reviews, didn't you?"

"**Well... see, about that..."**

"You wrote no reviews, did you?"

"**Nope"**

"_THEN WHAT _DID_ YOU DO?"_

Quizeh sweated a bit. **"Well, let's just say I wouldn't let small children look at what's on your computer"**

"Quizeh, you perv!"

"**Hey! At least I don't go around crushing on girls, then write a pitiful story with you and her live happily ever after!"**

"You leave Kuizie out of this!" Quizy's face turned bright red.

"**And why did you pick Master Hand to represent her? She has man hands?"**

"She's v-very creative a-a-and artsy-n-now l-like you kn-know. Qui-Quit it, Oh Quizeh, Stop it! Stop it! _Waaaaaaaaah!"_ Quizy cried.

"**Muahahaha..."** Quizeh laughed, turning into a smokey wisp again as Quizy bawled on the floor. **"Sorry, folks, we're having technical difficulties. Snicker, snicker"**

* * *

**Yeah... this whole thing is really embarrassing. I bet it looked like I was dead for the longest time. I've been so busy at school lately. I was never a fast writer in the first place and combined with school and my short attention span, I've had basically no time to write. Of course, I don't really have an evil twin bro who lives in my head, but sometimes it sure as heck feels like it. So, I set that "Quizeh" part of my brain to come up with plot ideas because most of my time went with problems at school, but that part of me isn't that great of a worker since it's so undernourished. **

**There are so many random things in here, it's almost ridiculous:**

**1. I have no idea why I'm riding in on a giant Tsutaaja.**

**2. Notice I'm dressed for the beach when I was supposed to be at school.**

**3. Two randomly placed R.O.B.'s with smiley face masks open the doors. One was evil and the other was pessimistic.**

**4. I'm scared of elevators. It feels so creepy when they go upstairs.**

**5. I live in room 42 since it IS the answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything. It randomly changes floors for some reason.**

**6. In the story, Quizeh lives in my head, but can separate in the form of a wisp.**

**7. Quizeh has two weaknesses. He's obsessed with gingerbread and he loves puppies**

**8. Sometimes, I have habits of picking on myself because of my pitiful love stories. Kuizie is the nickname I gave to the girl who Master Hand was based off of and if someone started teasing me about her, I have a sinking feeling I probably would start bawling.**

**Oh, sorry guys. I would tell you that this whole problem was solved, but I don't want to end up bringing in bad mojo and whatnot. It IS summer now, though, so it shouldn't be too hard. By the way, I had a HUGE plot idea for How to Smash, so I'm feelin' kinda inspired. I just felt it was my duty to be sure to let you all know that I've been working hard to slack off.**

**Quizy, out!**


	12. I'm suspending the story

**FLASHBACK**

"**I originally intended this to be done last Tuesday, but I had some unexpected encounters."**

"**Writing a story with no plot so far and the realization there won't be one for another 10 chapters DRIVES ME INSANE! It's also incredibly boring AND THE FACT THAT I ACTUALLY HAVEN'T COME UP WITH A PLOT YET DOESN'T HELP!"**

"**Late Merry Christmas"**

"**Sorry for taking so long to update, I think I've got it fixed now."**

**"I've noticed a lot of gaps in between your story updates Mr. Quizy'**

**'First of all, screw the Mr. Just call me Quizy, second of all, I've been kind of busy'**

**'But not busy enough to sit around eat M&M's eh?"**

"**I know I said I wouldn't take as long this time, but I actually have a good excuse this time."**

**"I'M NOT DEAD! I NEVER WILL BE"**

"**Quizy lives! Go spread the word!"**

"**I updated... Why no one reviewed?"**

**"The last six weeks of school were a frigging nightmare. I'm so happy now that I'm done with all that jank and that I can get back to writing."**

"**I bet it looked like I was dead for the longest time."**

"**It IS summer now, though, so it shouldn't be too hard." (Well, we all know THAT was a load of crap)**

_**END FLASHBACKS**_

"**What? You were expecting an actual update?" Quizy asked. "You should learn better by now. Now, here comes the business...", he sighed. "Yes, I am suspending HTS. I don't think you'll notice the difference. Look I don't have much time, so I'll just get to the point. In the time this story is suspended, I am going to fix up this story. In other words, its going to be completely rewritten. Yep, I am going to turn the first couple of sucky chapters into glorious whatevers. But look, the thing is, I can't do it alone. Obviously. You've seen that. I need someone to help me come up with ideas, get onto my back about actually writing, and maybe even co-write it with me. NOW I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME, I'M GONNA POST THIS AND I'LL check back this weekend. So, I'll explain in more detail if you ask me too. Thank you, come again!"**


End file.
